Do girls always have a back up guy or two?

[Anonymous]

So if a girl dumps you out of no where, she is hurt really bad by what you did- does she have a back up guy in place to move on? What is she thinking or doing?

Updates

+1 y

FEMALES ANSWER THIS, NOT GUYS.

[Anonymous]

All girls are different, I personally didn't... I approached my boyfriend and said I wanted to leave him because I was the bottom of his priorities. He persuaded me out of it and said he didn't want me to leave, he was going to try harder. A week later, he said to me that I was right, he was treating me badly and I deserved better. We were both in tears about it, and I'm still in love with him.

I didn't have someone as a back up. Not then. Not now. I tried to move on and couldn't, I tried forcing myself, but I think if it's going to happen, it will happen naturally. Women are generally more linked emotionally into relationships, hence why it's harder for us to have a FWB arrangement.

I've always been deeply commited, but I could not be in a relationship with someone I didn't love. It would have to be a min. of really really really like. When we got together, it was love at first sight, and every day I fell a little more.

Some women are not as...focused? as I am though. I think it's partly how you are raised, how your parents were, and things like that. Are you worried that a girl has left you for another man?

[Anonymous]

Maybe. Maybe not. Girls who tend to date a lot, who are known to have dated tons of guys, may have a back-up. But you never know.

I don't tend to date much and I had to leave a guy because he was treating me horribly and I put up with it for a year until I realized there was no point.

There was no back up guy. No nothing. Just me and crying myself to sleep. I was allergic to guys after the break up, too. So even if there were a guy interested in me, I'd be really, really afraid of him. and I wouldn't want to rebound.

[Asker]

So basically I lied to her and she broke up with me. I lied basically to impress her and "spit game" if you will. I obviously didn't lie when we were in a relationship or anything, but apparently was hurtful enough for her to leave. I treated her amazingly, basically lived for her. Did everything I could possibly do to keep her happy. 5 weeks after we broke up I heard she was moved on and dating new people. It hurt me so incredibly bad. She said she loved me, wanted me forever. I miss her.

[Darkfairie17]

No, I never have a back up guy :P Kind of defeats the purpose of the relationship if you already have someone else lined up IMO :P

[Anonymous]

I would have to think she's laying in some guys arms right this second. My girlfriend married her rebound & so is yours. Move on.

[Asker]

She is. She's got a new boyfriend. Don't think he's the marriage type, but best of luck to her.

[Anonymous]

some do, some don't. if she broke up with you out of nowhere - not after a fight or a bad week but just out of nowhere...there's a good chance she made the decision to leave you long before and has someone else in mind.

i broke up with someone I was with for years and loved intensely because he changed and started to just hurt me too much, without getting into details. it was a slow death. it turned from something wonderful into something toxic. when I dumped him, we had a horrible few days where I cried a lot. so, I had no back up guy.

if you hurt a girl enough times she'll realize one day "sh*t, I love you but I'm not happy" and leave you. when it dawned on me that this person was a negative influence on my life I left him. no back-up guy. not comfort guy. I'm alone, and heartbroken, but more focused on my long-term happiness.

[Asker]

What I should have said was it was sudden, and quick. We fought about the same issue over and over and it wasn't going away anytime soon. One of her friends told her something about me too which she just believed and didn't even allow me to explain it. She told me I was the one she was to spend forever with. I know she hurt when she left me and there is/was a lot of damage. I just heard she has been seeing new people, whatever it means. Thank you for this. I just pictured her nailing the town..

[Opinion Owner]

i can't speak for all girls, but I would never "heal" by going out and nailing the town. I would feel better about myself by going out - and yes, flirting with men, being comforted by friends, being reminded that I am wanted and that things will be OK. but not just going out and having sex. if I met someone that I liked and he treated me well, yes, I would date that person. I'm just not in a place where I've processed everything enough yet to really do that.

[Asker]

Ya she is 23 and is all about her girlfriends and partying in different cities. I know that she was promiscuous in her past before me, but nothing too serious. She had a very hard time recovering from the first fight we had and said she takes a long time getting over things. That gives me some comfort here. All I can hope for is that she is seeing other guys to fill my void and when she sees how good she had it with me (despite my flaws) that she will be interested again. Not holding my breath.

[shebhip]

it depends on the girl. ? well do you know her habits? does she date other men or have fwb? you need to findthis out 1st. 2nd. ? did you do 2 her? if you did something bad to hurt her feelings you need to correct it. speak from year heart & be sincere (if you really are sincere & humble) if not then you need 2 turn the page & move on 2 future woman. but don't do the bad boy again, & maybe the nxt 1 will stay a while . gd luck

[Asker]

Shes a party girl, was somewhat past promiscuous... I tried to correct my faults, and she never responded to me. I said some things I shouldn't have after the break up too..

[grapevine_stella]

yes,i have had lot of guys drooling over me.

i guess most of these guys disguise themselves as friends and we girls fall for them when we get emotional support from them after a bad breakup.

i have been involved in two such relationships only to later realize they weren't the ones I wanted to end up with

[Asker]

Did you go back to your ex who treated you good after?

[grapevine_stella]

lol.no I was over them already!

[Anonymous]

I dont, I think its wrong to keep a "back-up" just because I'm lonely that I don't have a boyfreind.

I don't want to be like 70% of other females who use their close friends as"placeholders" or whatever until they find a new guy.

If I'm going to love somebody, its because I love them, not that I just want a guy.

[Asker]

Do you sleep with your placeholder?

[Opinion Owner]

(1) I don't have any placeholders, I thought I said that

(2) no, I won't just sleep with someone because I'm not getting sex

[26confused12345]

Nope. That normally goes into the rebound territory which isn't a great place to be. It's best to deal with your feelings and chill out before going off into another relationship or you carry it over which will cause more problems.

[pepper01]

im not gonna lie A LOT of girls do and some dont. just depends on the girl herself.. guys do it all the time and trust me girls have side plates too

[Asker]

It's been almost two months since she left and I've been doing okay with it until I woke up this morning. First week was horrible, and weeks two through six were fine. But I don't know what happened when I woke up, I just started crying and have been doing so all day. This relationship was good, but I always had doubts and questions. I loved her, she loved me, etc. She wasn't even a great girlfriend, but there is something I can't get rid of. I can't move on from this girl. That never happens.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the specific girl, but I've never had backup guys after a break up. I find it disrespectful to the one you were dating if you just suddenly have someone else.

[Anonymous]

Usually there's a guy or two waiting in the wings to hook up with you once you become single.

[Anonymous]

I personally don't though that's not a bad idea

[Anonymous]

assh0le.

[Asker]

go f*** yourself dude. you're a complete waste of life and to society. way to be understanding and caring. put the sh*t in your mouth and I'll end it for you.

[Asker]

seriously you f***ing scumbag, I wish I knew you in person.. id beat you so bad you'd be un recognizable when the cops came and picked your dead body up... you mother f***er.. no compassion or understanding for another pain.. you just gotta talk sh*t.. f*** you, f*** your family, f*** your existence.. id be so ashamed to have you as a child or a friend. you mother f***er.. come to boston, you f***ing douchebag, ill destroy your life.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

[Asker]

You get a sex change or something? I want a female to answer.

[Opinion Owner]

Really a**hole? Because it didn't say that anywhere in your question.

[Opinion Owner]

Look at mr. shot caller. LOL

[Asker]

Really douchebag? I am having a hard time right now.

[Opinion Owner]

so take it out on me instead of the person who cheated on you then dumped you, a**hole.

[Asker]

No cheating involved. Go re-read it.

[Opinion Owner]

You don't know sh*t.