No contact rule, what if he's waiting for ME to contact HIM?

[kkandbb]

So my boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago and he hasn't tried to contact me at all.. like AT ALL. He had said when we were breaking up and he was getting his things that he still loved me so much and that this was very hard to do blah blah blah. We were in a relationship 2 months short of 2 years and we were so happy 2 months prior to our breakup but then he started doing the dodgy and acting single (hitting on girls) so.. sh-t I dunno. Has he already moved on? I know he doesn't harbor bad feelings for me otherwise I doubt he would've given me his 3K computer and 1K bed... he must still have some feelings right? But how come he hasn't contacted me? Is he waiting for me? Cause I know that he would know ALL about "no contact" so maybe he's trying that on me OR maybe I'm in denial...

[rdr005]

If he was acting "single" and such... and then starts implementing the "no contact rule"... then I'm sorry, but I think he's moved on. He was probably being a d-bag for w/e reason and using the excuse "no contact" is a cheap way to either break things off or... as the rule implies... no contact. I doubt he will make any effort to contact you. As for the things he's given you... were they recent? I assume not, but I don't know. Perhaps you should just talk to him... ask him what's wrong, and for that matter... why did he decide to go no contact.

However... harsh or blunt as it may be... it is my opinion that if two people are in a committed relationship and want to be with each other, then they will work through the hard times without implementing these "rules" of engagement. You either want to be with the person or not. Talk to him, find out what lame excuse he gives, and unless this relationship can miraculously be salvaged, I'd move on. Take whatever experience you can from it and move on, so that you don't have to hold yourself back from moving on.

[TurbulentDan12]

He probably has moved on. Sometimes a guy will do those sort of things to create jealousy from their ex but if he isn't trying to contact you it doesn't sound like he wants to get back in a relationship. I'm sure he still appreciates your friendship and cares deeply about you, but if he wanted to be in a relationship I think he'd show more initiative. Usually the guy would do that, but if you want to seem more open and available to him and he is just waiting for you that may entice him to go for it. Unless you've seen signs from him that he's interested, I don't think that is the case unfortunately. It's worth a shot though.

[TeAmo122008]

He most likely moved on a long time ago... he thought about ending the relationship well in advance of actually doing so. Yes, he may truly care fo you, an dhe probably even loves you.. as a person.. but as a couple, he just wasn't feeling it anymore. He hasn't contacted you becuase he doesn't exaclty want to. If you remained friends, and kept in contact, it would become even more difficult for either of you, especially you, to move on. Things ended for a reason.. he was unhappy...y0u probably could have given him EVERYTHING you were worth, and I'm sure you were trying, but if feelings/actions weren't reciprocted, than this guy did you a favor. Be thankful he respected you enough to be honest with yout and to end things, rather than play games and pretend behind your back. You'll realize this late on..

[Marie83]

theres no harm in contacting him, BUT don't expect a response and if you do get one remember to keep the conversation neutral otherwise it could just blow up in your face...talking from recent experience. but like the others said, if he wanted to be in contact, he would be. just don't upset yourself anymore and get wound up by the fact that sometimes people think about themselves, especially after being on the receiving end of that persons love and attention for a period of time and you miss them and it.

[Bluerose]

Call him. You will never know unless you try. I say this because I feel the same way about my relatively new ex. Too much media has gotten us to believe in these fake rules. True we should give time between the breakup and a hopeful reconcilation but you won't get answers sitting around forever.

[WeaponZero]

The "no contact rule" isn't meant to try to win each other back. It's meant to facilitate in moving on. If you haven't heard from him yet then that mean he hasn't yet gotten to the point where he feels he can trust himself around you. He needs to be secure in his resolve when it comes to dealing with you. He needs to feel safe in the belief that he won't be pulled back into a relationship with you. THAT is what no contact is for.

[kkandbb]

Oh... but isn't it sometimes used to reconcile? Should I contact him then before he gets to the point where he is over me? or should I just better myself (which I have been doing) before contacting him or seeing him again?

[sumina7]

If he wants to be in touch why would he not contact you and wait for you to contact him? After all he is the one who broke it off. By the way, computers lose value very fast, how old is it? He may already have another bed and may not need the one he has left with you.

Don't estimate his feelings through material things but by his behavior.

Ifeel, you are in denial.

[kkandbb]

Oh I know that he has a REALLY crap bed right now.. springs dig into your back and everything.. but yeah, I probably am in denial.. I just can't help but "hold out" for him.. I know that's so bad. It's not as if I don't have options (like he's my only chance) because I do.. a lot of options just I feel like no man could replace the one I lost. I just don't get why he wanted out.. I thought we were happy until the 2 months before :(

[sumina7]

Yes, I know the feeling.

However, if you think back carefully, you will probably find that there were tell-tale signs that something was wrong before the two month that you refer to, you just did not give any importance to them.

May you be able to move on! :-)

[taster]

I agree with Anon male that he may be playing the No Contact game as well if he has not moved on...but the real problem here is that people seldom or never change...u can put him on probation..but likely just a matter of time B 4 he is in trouble again. GREAT TO HEAR FROM You AGAIN...wanna hear some good news from the Land of Down Under...

[kkandbb]

Well I'm doing a course (which is why I have internet) lol so that's some good news :) lol it's so good to have internet though but I don't get it for very long :( How's everything going your way?

[taster]

What's going on here? My kid is psycho ...like usual..at least it is still summer :D

[marisann22]

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[Anonymous]

If he hasn't moved on, it appears that you both are playing this "no contact" game.

[taster]

Agreed

[mitebgiant]

Try talking to him. Just to talk. Don't make it awkward or anything, just act like you guys are friends and that nothing ever happened. Maybe that all he really wants.