Can you see other people if ur "on a break" or nahhh?

[kareenakapur]

guy im talking to tells me he's "kind of on a break" and they both "needed time away from each other." He doesn't want to lead me on he says but still wants to talk to me and understands if i dont want to. Is he cheating or is this fine. we be talking talking. does break mean he's going to prob break up if he's messing with other girls or he's just going through a hoe phase and using me. Would you get back w ur man if on break he messed w other girls? bc ngl i wouldn't :/

[DaveJord]

So I will tell you a story from a personal experience. My ex-wife and I were dating... we went on a break. It ended up being a three-month break. I dated other girls during that break... because I didn't know honestly what her deal was or if we would ever get back together.

But we still talked from time to time... and if she asked if I was dating other girls I always lied. Because honestly, she didn't want to date me about wanted to know if I was dating? Thats none of her business if she in not my girlfriend.

We eventually we did start dating again, and we got married and we were married for 22 years. I lied about it for over 22 years. So, was it cheating? I say no because we were not in any official relationship or status.

Would she of thought it was cheating? ABSOLUTELY!!! That is why I lied about it. Do I think she was right for feeling that way... ABSOLUTELY not.

At least this guy is being honest with you, I wasn't with the other woman. So, on that level he is better than me.

[kareenakapur]

but did you think that you would get w any of the girls in that period or they were just "filler" he keeps telling me he doesn't want to hurt me. is that just him being a nice guy? does that mean he doesn't see me as a future at all or he cares about my feelings enough and isn't sure I don't know lol. we've been talking 1 month only started sending each other stuff for couple days.

[kareenakapur]

after one of my pics he said "you are going to get us both in trouble" lol and talks about us doing stuff basically when we meet we are online only but I'm moving to his city for my job (that's how we started talking) and I'm living in the same apt complex since that's the only good one in the small town :/

[DaveJord]

When ever a guy starts talking about not wanting to hurt you, it means he wants a friends with benefits situation without emotional attachment.

Or it means he want to move on from his ex, but he's not over her... so if she comes back around he will dump you because he is not really looking for another girlfriend.

[kareenakapur]

dang ;( I just want him to love me

[DaveJord]

I could always be wrong of course... but honestly i don't want to hurt because I am on a break with my ex... its not something you ever say to a woman you are seriously interested in having a serious relationship with. Thats the bottom line... but people say stupid shit all the time.

[kareenakapur]

"but i still want to talk to you. i understand if you dont" :( he talks to me for like 3-4 hours on ft. i love talking to him hearing his voice. he'll sing me songs ugh. i see what ur saying though. why would he even tell me about her if he wanted something w me until its over.

[DaveJord]

The fact that he even told you about her, and then put it out there in these ways... simply means he's not over her, that's all you need to know.

Doesn't mean that you two can build a serious relationship together. But he does not want to jump straight into another one so fast.

I am not saying don't explore the situation, I am not saying he's a shit bag, I am not saying you should or should not date him... what I am saying is that he's obviously not over his ex-girlfriend so whatever you decide to do, just know that and don't get pissed later if it does not work out. because he told you so upfront.

Which honestly is pretty damn good of him.

But this is the issue with dating these days, woman say they want and honest upfront guy that doesn't play games. But in my life and through my experiences that is completely bull shit. Because all these women say that, until they meet a genuine, honest guy that doesn't play games, and they immediately mistrust him and question his motivations.

This guy is being honest with you about his situation, and here we are questioning his motivations. Let me be honest with you... he could have not said anything to you about his ex-girlfriend or situation. But that would be like lying by omission.

This guy is being honest... and you still don't like it. So, should he of just said nothing, or can you respect the fact that he is being honest and take your chances based upon that?

If he was player I promise you this, he would of not of said anything at all.

[kareenakapur]

thats true. but last night the way he was snapping me like there's NOOO way he hasn't done that many times. he was helllllla smooth. But yeah first time he told me was "I've been in a tough spot with someone else and have too many feelings for them to go into anything else." He didn't even say he was on a break. I was so conf. This was even before i sent pics. Later on he said something about leading me on and hurting me and I asked straight up and he said he's kind of on a break. I'm psychotic. I basically told him I'm ok with him hurting me lol. i said "some good things hurt lol jk" and then we sexted the end lol

[DaveJord]

Well, if doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. But that doesn't mean it can't be fun! LOL

[Anonymous]

Depends on what their idea of a break is. Did they set rules in place? Or is it just open to their own interpretation? If they said it was ok to talk to other people than there’s nothing wrong w that they both agreed. Some people take breaks to see if this is really the person for them, to get out to see what else life has to offer. Maybe they fall in love again after a break. Maybe they’re allowed to date other people but nothing sexual. I think I’d be ok w dating as yes we’re not together but we both know there’s a possibility of coming back together, otherwise why even take a “break?” Why not just breakup if there’s not even the slightest possibility of getting back together? Now sex wise, I don’t think I’d be ok w that unless we decided ok yes we’re officially broken up. I hope that makes sense.

[kareenakapur]

What about sexting

[Opinion Owner]

Again if they agreed on certain things that’s between them but if nothing was established then a “break” is up for interpretation. While I wouldn’t like the sexting it’s no where near the actual act of sex. Although I do believe it could lead to sex especially on the man’s part because you know how we as men are when it comes to sex.

[Quackthulu2]

Depends on what you are on a break from. If you are on a break at work do you still have to work? Then why would you still be loyally to a relationship you are on a break from?

That having been said the whole “on a break” thing is pretty fucking stupid to start with.

[Quackthulu2]

Also Ross did nothing wrong.

[Spongebobssocks]

Nope... not unless they have broken up.

[Spongebobssocks]

Thank you for MHO:)

[Spade_01]

Breaks are stupid. You're either together or you're not. Breaks in between create so much vagueness and gives false expectations which usually ends up in disappointments. You kind of expect loyalty from them still yet can't react when you happen to learn they have been with someone else till the decided to end the break with you.

[PointTaken]

Sounds like he wants to just sleep around or they both do. Being on a break is supposed to be time apart for each one for emotional gathering of their relationship. If he wants to see other women in that time, then those two shouldn't get back together cause he wasn't really in the relationship. That's my opinion.

[kareenakapur]

Yeah i agree i wouldn't get back together if there was sex w someone else in between. :((( didn't know he was on a break until recently but i went crazy and started the sexting lol. But he didn't stop me at all. Kept saying i dont want to lead you on and hurt you but then asked me to send pics in the shower lol.

[kareenakapur]

What about sexting is that ok on a break lok. I just want him to fall for me. Im so in love with him. Keep giving him emotional support so if he wwnte to break its easier he has someone. Such a terrible scheme :(( i feel gross

[PointTaken]

That's the type of wording that some will say to get you more relaxed so you won't stop. It shows when he asked for pics in the shower. Just send him pics of your shower without you in it.

[kareenakapur]

What do you mean which is the type of wording to get me more relaxes and not stopping?

[PointTaken]

Setting could lead to more. The main thing is how would you feel. If you and him hooked up a few times or even once then he goes off break and stays with his girlfriend. If you want to fool around with him and see if he will stay with you or not do anything, it's all up to you. Just think of the scenario and how you would feel with either outcome.

[kareenakapur]

Ur right lol actually his exact wording was waiting for you with a smirk. And i was like waiting for what and he said you’re shower. he's smoooth as hell

[PointTaken]

Yeah. Some people can say everything you want to hear to make you more comfortable to do what he would like.

[kareenakapur]

Yeah you’re right. I would mess around with him. Not let him fuck me though. Im a virgin. I think he's really into the idea of taking that from me. But when i wouldn't send him a pic of my pussy i think he got mad lol. I didn't realize in the moment but now realizing he was upset lol. And the next day was like i dont like being told no. Feel like I've led him
On to think id give it to him. But i need to give it to someone who wants me and only me :( bare minimum lol

[PointTaken]

I like how you think. If he got mad then he thought he was getting into your pants but now denied. You should only have sex with who you choose.

[kareenakapur]

Lol no i said some things you have to see in person. So im leading him on oops

[PointTaken]

Lol. Yeah. Seems like it. Have fun.

[kareenakapur]

lol but i dont want to do that w him. i do but dont. need someone whos eyes only on me at leastttt

[PointTaken]

There's someone out there somewhere that has eyes only for you. Are you looking into dating? As in, maybe date apps or someone you like but shy and haven't talked to him yet?

[kareenakapur]

not dating apps. was tlaking to a guy right before this. I sent him suggestive crop top pics. he asked for a bra pic tho and i said no dont feel comfy lol and he stopped replying to me lol. i sent him 2 more snaps like how r u and no response lol. that was a month ago. my friends were embarrassed for me even replying to him lol. I just sent him some cute crop top snaps today lets see if he budges lol. I like him but he's being wack and is prob not worth my time. But I don't know why i didn't just send when i lit sent even worse to "on a break" guy. But also i ft'd 'on a break guy" other guy just snapped never heard his voice etc.

[PointTaken]

Nice. That's a way to tease a guy. He really wanted to see more. Since you didn't give it, he just stopped talking cause you didn't show more. The guy on break sounds like he definitely really wants to see more. Try to not send more to him and see what he does. A good guy wouldn't just slow or stop talking to you.

[kareenakapur]

Lol guy who ghosted me replied finally but now i sent another normal pic w/ a question and he opened at like 3 am replayed but didn't reply ugh. Whats he doing? Lol i def showed on a break guy almost everything already 😭😂 just not down low i think i won't send him stuff and if he gets bored he gets bored.

[PointTaken]

Lol. You're a tease. He's hoping you'd send more revealing pictures. That's what he wants. Hell, if you're hot of course he would want to see more. The guy on break is probably hooked and hoping you'd show all.

[kareenakapur]

lol he ended up replying to my boring face pic just 6 hours after he opened and replayed like whattt. lol i am hot i know. Guy on the break likes my body he already told me but he doesn't like I'm clingy aF AF

[kareenakapur]

why would. other guy take 6 hours to reply and send me the DRYest thing ever lol. i think he has no game but maybe he's just trying to show disinterest?

[PointTaken]

He's maybe being kind by replying? What do you mean you're clingy? Lol. Sounds like he already admitted he wants to do more to you but not stay with you. Kind of.

[kareenakapur]

lol, truee. im so clingy text other guyyy sooo much. dont give him space. heart all his insta stories and comment on all of them lol. and double text lol. I just dont care tbh I don't know why. I'm not playing games at all. I just hope its not too unattractive.

[SnowedIn]

You have to ask. And define it. Preferably before the break starts. "Can we see other people?" If the answer is no I'd argue that there shouldn't be a break and just work out whatever it is.

[MementoMori777]

Break means no commitment for a while but it's not a breakup, basically it's like a temporary breakup, people do use it to sleep around unfortunately

[kareenakapur]

I just want him to fall in love with me lol

[Andres77]

Talking isn’t cheating.

dates and sex would be. A break is just time apart to think things through. If it’s an excuse for strange…u messed up.

[kareenakapur]

sexting lol is that

[Andres77]

For me yes Sexting would be cheating even while on a break, but that’s just my perspective

[kareenakapur]

I would think so too. I started it though so its my fault highkey. But his fault for even starting to talk to me without telling me straight up his relationship status. But he's dirtyyyy and hot aF kept it going omg. I feel bad been trying to give him all the emotional support bc i know being apart means he can't just say everything to her and needs someone. Might make it easier to break in my opinion 😅😅 am i playing a bad scheme i hate myself for this scheme

[Andres77]

We’ll…if it’s hurting someone that you care about…it taints the pleasure

[kareenakapur]

what do. u mean

[Andres77]

How would you feel if your boyfriend did that during a break or how would he feel if you did that during a break?

[kareenakapur]

yeah id feel bad. so he's prob not liking this as much as id hope

[Andres77]

It would not be temptation if it didn’t feel good or it wasn’t fun

[John_Doesnt]

Yes, you can see other people, start a new family and get many abortions.

[TrillXHippy]

What the heck does “on a break” even mean? This ain’t work. “On a break” just sounds stupid smh

[In_Trance]

The point of being on break is to fuck other people guilt free and have the chump wait around until you're done

[kareenakapur]

Oop😅😅

[kareenakapur]

He only sexted me no fucking yet.

[In_Trance]

SO now he wants to sext other people guilt free and have you wait around

[kareenakapur]

You’re right he prob will :(

[kareenakapur]

I just love him ugh he's so sweet. he's perfect for me if only he didn't have his eyes elsewhere :( i want him so bad.

[In_Trance]

Whatever works for you

[es20490446e]

Why a break to start with?

[kareenakapur]

no idea

[es20490446e]

Breaks means the relationship is not very serious.