Do they ever come back?

[Anonymous]

We broke up due to my lack of proper communication and understanding. We dated for a year total and were friends for a year before that.

we had a conversation 5 days after she broke up with me and the breakup had given me the time to reflect and understand what I wasn’t understanding. She accepted my apology but stated “the door is closed” and that she couldn’t do it. She told me she loves me like she always did before all this, she had tears in her eyes and at one point I could see she was fighting so hard to not cave and say yes. She has me blocked on socials but not my number and told me she just needs time right now. Before we started dating she explained that she was trying to work on herself and her childhood traumas when we met and she wasn’t ready for a relationship but we just kind of fell together, and bonded and next thing we knew we were inseparable for the time.

I was wondering if anyone has ever been in this situation before and had them come back and slowly have it grow into something again?

[pervertedjester]

I've had two or three exes look me back up after about a decade or so. Telling me something to the effect of "It wasn't as much your fault as I made it out to be at the time." I normally just catch up with them and go back to my own life. I thank them politely for any renewed interest in me but, they made their choice all those years ago.

I mean they could be finally able to be in a relaxed and trusting relationship. One where you don't have to say a lot if you don't want as long as love is felt/shared. Yet, it would still take something special to see past all the disappointment I saw in their eyes when they chose to walk away. I doubt I could trust that kind of person again, let alone date them. Because they'd still be the Disappointments who gave up on the relationship initially.

[Asker]

I appreciate your insite and sharing your story with me. I never looked at it like that. I guess only time will tell what comes of all this

[BoopBoopBeep]

If she's in her 30s and still dealing with "childhood trauma" I would hope (wrong word) that it involves criminal acts and people were charged. If her "childhood trauma" is "daddy didn't love me" then you're better off. As to whether she's coming back, can't imagine what would make that happen. Enjoy the friendship. Don't F it up. Don't expect it to ever be something it's not.

[provokeesmokee]

It's possible, but the best thing to do is move on yourself.

It is clearly too fresh for her to consider getting back with you. And it's too late to say you learned your lesson - there's also no proof of it.

Go date other people.

Maybe, maaaaaaaybe, in time you'll cross paths again. But it won't matter if you don't lock in improving yourself.

[devilish-cutie]

There is hope but no guarantee. Whatever was "wrong" on your part and whatever she wanted you to do that is what you need to do right now. If you were bad at communicating or not understanding give her that. If you were more passive than fight for her, if your were more pushy let her go. Whatever she told you were the issues, correct them.

[Asker]

Appreciate that. I know there is no gurantee but it’s nice to hear there’s still a glimmer of hope. I’ve not contacted her since the talk we had in person out of respect and love for her. I’ve dated many woman in the past but she really was something special and I hope one day she can be back in my life.

Until then I’ve been focusing on myself and working on changing the problems we had.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are asking "is it possible?" but you should be asking "is it likely?"

[Kevininja363]

Probably not

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kevininja363 Bingo!

[Kevininja363]

Move on before you realize you’re 4 years out of it and still dwelling over nothing.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kevininja363 Been there, done that (but not four years!)

[WanderingLoveWizard]

It's possible for sure, but in my experience (unless it was just a spur of the moment break up because she was emotional), when a woman says she's done... she's done

[WanderingLoveWizard]

But stranger things have been known to happen. So don't give up just yet

[_no_one_]

For them to come back u never let go in first place.

[DextroShade]

If she comes back to you she will be on the wrong side of the wall and with some other dude's kid.

[itsalyssaagain]

They ALWAYS come back.

[BlackJeep]

They usually come back after you move on.

[In_Trance]

They come back when they run out of options