They want to check your temperature to see if you’re hot or cold. If you don’t respond to his message then you passed the test. If you try to play like most women who texts or calls the guy to ask what does he want then you failed the test.
It also depends on the context of the situation. If this is a guy that was genuinely interested in you and you walked away out of a misunderstanding or him not willing to meet your standards then he’ll be concerned (not abuse/cheating). If this guy played fake interest and his disrespect forced you to drop him like a hot potato then it’s only a test.
A lot of the guys i talked to came back for diff reasons…
-it either didn't workout with the sidepiece
-their sidepiece couldnt get them off
-they wanted to try “us” again
-they saw me as a rebound option to whoever they just then broke up with
-they saw me as marriage material and were now ready to settle down
-they wanted to have a baby and their partner wasn't ready to
Opinion
85Opinion
Don't say all men. I won't be coming back. Lol. Storytime! When I was 26, I met my girlfriend (now ex) when she was 22. When we got into a relationship, I later learned she had a lot of baggage - financial issues, habitual weed smoker, later had weight issues (went from 180 to 250 due to depression), had issues with her mom stealing money from her... a lot of stuff.
Of course, even though being with her was stressful, I wanted to be with her and I loved her. Taught her how to manage her depression, taught her about finances, took her to new places, taught her how to take better care of herself. Basically, I enriched her life.
Last year in 2020, 2 weeks after I gave her the best birthday of her life (she was literally on the phone with all of her friends and family saying this was the best birthday ever)... she told me that she wanted to take a break... because between her recent car accident, working 2 full-time jobs and going to school full-time, she felt she couldn't concentrate on the relationship and it hurt her a lot. So,. I agreed and told her we can pick back up when things aren't so stressful.
When we took our "break" I still saw her regularly, we kissed, hugged and had sex as usual... but we were on break. Then as time went by... she started ghosting me and speaking less and less to me and becoming more distant. Then... I didn't see her for a month. No replies to my calls or texts... nothing.
Then in December, out of the blue, she called me and asked if I wanted to go rollerblading with her and she was paying. I agreed. We met up. I noticed she lost a LOT of weight (she went back down to 190) and she was wearing new clothes. We skated, talked, kissed, hugged... but she seemed off.
This gets long... so I'll cut to the chase. Even though she was going out with me on dates... I later learned she got distant, because she went to a party during our break, met another guy and had sex with him the same night. As time went by and I kept sticking around... she got colder towards me, more distant and kept telling me, "if you left my life today, I wouldn't mind at all" then it started getting forceful like... "If you don't like how I'm acting, get the hell out of my life"
So... I wrote her a letter explaining my feelings... left it at her doorstep. She texted me one last time, thanking me for the letter and wished me the best in healing. It has now been 6 months since I saw her and I do not intend on seeing her again. She always told me I was the best boyfriend she ever had (and if you knew her dating history, I really was). But, she had no problem leaving the 3 year relationship because she thought the grass was greener elsewhere.
Honestly, some guys just want sex, they just want pussy I'm being blunt. But also you have to remember, guys/men have a natural tendency to want to fix things. Look at the dad's around the house trying to fix this or that. Some guys may reflect and genuinely want to fix things again and make things right, some girls may accept it or not. Usually when a girl moves on she does not want to look back. I have apologized to girls where she read my comment and not respond at all, completely ghosted. I've had girls say, "I thought you were going to message me after 3 days, not 3 months". Some guys go back in terms of playing that cat and mouse or the doing the tango with her and like the challenge, just like girls like a challenge when a guy is "unavailable". Here is a common one that you girls go through.
A girl is going through her own shit and life, there are girls where I have let go because she is dealing with her own stuff (family, job, an ex boyfriend, other dudes in the picture, etc.). This is a girl that doesn't hate the dude, but she's not eager to talk to him at the moment, for some guy's a natural reaction is give her space and try back in a month or two. But to be clear a guy who does this should not wait hand and foot for a girl, a girl who does not have her life together for months or years is not waiting for that particular dude who is waiting for her. Because some other dude can swoop in and DM her and within a few days or few wks can woo her. As a guy, I've realized do NOT wait for girls. It's ok to have hope in people that they will better in the future, but that does not mean wait for them, a girl is not going to turn around and say "aww thanks for waiting". I'm sorry girls are usually gutless these days where if they knew a guy waited for after getting through all her stuff she will either be a) creeped out or b) ghost him. To the post you know that's not wrong, and this is why I wish people were more empathic and thoughtful towards others.
If my life was in complete disarray and some girl waited for me and didn't say anything and then messaged me one day because I fixed some stuff in my life. Even if I didn't dig her or see a future with her, I would have a heart felt convo with her. I'm not going to ghost someone who did that. That's like me calling a call centre and waiting for 40 minutes only to get a hold of a call centre agent and they hang up on me. That's how I look at it and I hope this shed some light as to why guys do it, it will be for different intentions. Lastly, I think girls have to understand, we don't get have a shit load of options and our DM's are filled with different girls the way girls get approached in life and online. But girls and women who get that attention, majority of those comments are dudes/guys who want to fuck, some guys are in the creepy category where they are not looking for sex but they seem really odd and the small percentage of guys who approach/dm girls may be normal where girls respond back to. Either way, guys don't receive that same recognition or attention.
I have not, when I move on I litteraly "move" on. I had a friend that we had a thing going on, but didn't talk for years. I lost the phone number, she contacted me. I moved to a different state for a new job, couldn't go back if I wanted to. I am talking to someone else, I did like this lady, but I moved on. If I lost your number, its because out of sight out of mind. Can't wait on someone to figure out what they want. We talk to give her some emotional support, positive mental attitude. It is unfair to drop everything for someone who all of a sudden wants me in their life. As I progress with the new women I am going to give my friend closure. One chapter closes as a new one opens. My energy goes to the new person. Remember there is someone for you, if they leave and all of a sudden come back. No I am sorry no. I am not someone you can use and throw away. I have another friend was healthy for her, but in her mind I wasn't good enough. She always wanted my attention said she loved me, but had to call her out on it. I told her I moved on and showed her the photo and messages of the women I was talking to so she knew it was real. She wasn't happy about it, even though I still care for my friend, I moved on. That friend spent majority of her free time with me. I am pretty sure she moved on too, she was "cute" so she's not lonely. Maybe spirtually but not physically. Soooo, what is the common theme here?
If we're talking about serious relationships I don't normally. If we're just talking about girls that it was just regular sex then most of the time it's for sex lol
All that aside though, I left things off on good terms with all of my ex's or girls I've hooked up with. Every girlfriend I had came back around at least once. As for regular hookups 90% of the time if we stopped it was because they got a boyfriend so I let them do their thing or our life circumstances just were no longer compatible for doing that regularly.
So why wouldn't I hit up an old regular? In most cases neither of us actually did anything wrong, like just happened. I remember one girl in particular I hadn't seen or spoken to her in six years and she added me on Instagram and DM to me out of the blue.
We stopped talking because her fiance told her to stop talking to me basically lol. They got married and divorced and I guess after a year of getting over that she decided to hit me up again. Either way I welcomed her back and we had a good time.
To me there is no sense in having an ego about it. If you both like each other, if you both get along, if you both enjoy each other's company. Why not? Assuming no one did anything wrong that has to be resolved
Because for me the few times the girl actually did do me dirty, I did not go back and when she tried to come back I did not take her back
Never did that miss alyssa rapunzel because it's very hard for me to leave someone cause i'm very faithfull and i try my best to fix things up and remain with the person that i'm love with which means that when i'm single and alone than be sure that they are the ones who left and since they are the ones who left, i never come back to them because it's enough being hurt and feeling pain emotionally, also they are the ones who chose to leave not me, why should i come back?
I always treat the person the way i want to be treated and sadly i never found this person yet!
Short answer. It's easier.
I have done it many times. Mostly just to the women I was really attracted to though. You might just be hot.
They are single, trying to date, and if they aren't finding what they want out there, they go back to where they have been before. Much harder for the average man to find a date in general.
He already knows you are attracted to him, he already knows how to talk to you, what to say. It's easier than finding a new girl, going out on dates, paying, getting her to like you, etc. And even then it might be for nothing. Especially if all you want is just sex.
Dating is work for a man, I don't think women realize this sometimes. Because all they are really expected to do is show up.
He also might have realized that a lot of women out here are terrible, and he didn't have it so bad with you. Actually really had a good thing, and wants it back genuinely. His actions and words will show you which his the case.
😩 Sorry, sis! I’m not sure what type of guys you deal with but I’ve never gone back to any woman. I guess it’s the asshole in me or whatever, but that’s not my motto. Yes, some exes have reached out to want to talk about it and discuss making it work but I just don’t see the point, and I tell them the same. It’s not worth it.
I’ve always had the notion that once an ex, stays an ex. There’s to many women out here to be going back to the same one. If it didn’t work out while together, then what’s the point? Keep it moving and let her be. ✌️
I have noticed even unattractive women have a few options for a partner, men tend to have far fewer and that's the top 10% of men. Most men feel fortunate ti have a woman be interested in then so when they leave and loneliness creeps in they overlook the reasons to leave in exchange for having a partner even if it means repeating the break up to make up cycle.
I’ve always wondered this too. It’s happened to me every time too.
As for the dudes saying they always went back because of sex: I never had sex with any of my boyfriends (waiting til marriage) and they ALWAYS came back.
So what was the case then if they weren’t getting sex before? Genuinely curious. 👀
I've never gone back, just me though... once it ends, it ends. I've never got back together with an ex or even tried.
Guess you could say, I always felt that those guys who pursue someone who isn't interested are what I call stalkers and never wanted to be one of them.
Everyone is different but i will try to help you as much as i can
Most guys i know text old gfs or girls they flirted with, when they feel horny yes horny
And when i say horny i mean they have nothing to do and they think about things that aren't what they really want
And let me add this, they text girls that they know that are most likely going to reply back and they know that those girls feel lonely too (or easy)
Hope this helped.
We don't. Why would we? I learned when I was about 4 that it is stupid to stick you finger in a light socket. I never did it again. Same with a woman who breaks up with you. Done. Invest you time in new things.
Perhaps for some guys that could be the case, but as a basic generalization that's pretty incorrect. If so I would have gone crawling back to my psychotic ex long ago that was obsessed with punching me in the balls, and as a whole treating me like hot garbage. Given that it's been 13 years, I'm pretty sure I'm not going back to her.
this is true for most women. I have kept emails and texts from exes when they've done this. And its been years since we spoke but If I ever see it I smile 😃 😊 fond memories. They will always miss a good woman
You may want to change that to most or all but one comes back.
I have yet to go back, when a relationship is over I move onward and upward.
Why go back, it wasn't working in the first place.
Life is too short.
Not all guys are like that. You are basing it off your experience alone. Then you project it in a way to make it seem that it is the universal truth. I have never gone back to an ex and never will. I have been once had an urge to go. back. my most recent ex was over 8 years ago.
I want to try to work things out because it's just the adult thing to do. Relationships and marriages ain't going to last if you drop each other just because you have hard times. Nobody taught me to do that either. I just already know sometimes we need our space. It definitely don't take months for me but it sure as hell does for them sometimes so I can't say it's a guys only thing
Not always...
For every gorgeous woman out there, somewhere there's a guy tired of her shit.
Whether it's valid or not is not for me to say.
Some people love you and some people detest you. It doesn't matter if it's justified. Some people are just like that.
I hope the One that does come back is of quality.
I never go back. There are 2 girls I would consider getting back with with they both live 1000 miles or more away. Probably not happening. When I’m done with someone I’m usually done. The only reason I’d date the two wAs because we both ended for life reasons. Moving, career…. Not ready to settle down. Now all 3 of us are single and probably a little lonely.
Lol not all guys. I immediately cut off all ties whenever it's over and move on. Billion other women out there. Pointless dwelling on 1 woman still or coming back to a woman to where it didn't workout already.
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