Why do my exes ALWAYS come back?

[sundressgal]

When I'm in a relationship I'm a pretty loyal, devoted girlfriend. I'll go out of my way to make them smile, do nice things, try out their interests, Just do my best to be a cool/awesome girlfriend. But I know what I have to offer as a person and consider myself a strong, confident woman. So when a guy I'm dating decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore or doesn't feel me worth it enough to put effort in as well , I feel that's fine and their right to feel that way, but I pack up, move on and don't look back. I have no interest in being with someone who doesn't value or want to be with me. When I have a breakup, I don't like to end in a nasty way but I do like to end in a final way.

I dont want to be friends, or chat/see each other, I always cut off contact and just move on with my life. I see no reason to be friends, it only makes moving on harder and it makes it way easier and smoother for me. I can move on happily and never give it another thought. It's so much simpler.

But with EVERY SINGLE GUY I've dated who's broken up with me or forced me to break up with them, they ALWAYS come back. Sometimes 3-4 times trying to get me to give them another chance or allow them to see me. I just don't get it. I've taken back a couple guys (though mostly not) in the past and when it didn't work out again after awhile I did the same breakup routine and sure enough, a few months later they're back.

I have no idea why. Why can't they just pack up and move on, especially since most of them were the cause/initiator of the breakup? It's literally been 100% of the guys I've dated and it's really confusing.

[awesomeness92]

I can give a scenorio, because i did this myself. I was dating an ex about 3 years ago. while i was dating her I went through some pretty rough situation from being emotianally and mentally bullied by my sister, father and step mother. I eventually broke emotionally and mentally and I questioned everything about myself including my relationship with my ex at the time, my ex on the other hand did not really make things, I remember I wanted to break up with her after a few months because it was getting very bad with everything, but she asked me to give her another chance so i did. anyway I eventually broke up with her.8 months later I was able to pull myself together and i knew what i wanted at the time which was her but unfortunately she had the same attitude as you. and basically told me that i am too late and all that.

Sometimes people just need time to see what they really want. you know that saying if you love them set them free, if they come back they yours if they don't then they were never yours. or something like that.

[Unit1]

Short answer: They're losers, who can't get a grip in life. Or they realized what they just lost.

Long answer: This is why I want to be careful of what I do and what I say when it comes to interacting with women, who may potentially become my next girlfriend. I may have issues at the moment but I am not closed to the idea of having a relationship. It may just not mix so well with the given time but I am just one case.

I would move on the same way as you do. No means no and after that I'm gone. I salute you, lady!

[sundressgal]

Why thank ya! It's really much more effective! And yep I agree, it's smart to know what your ready for, and not jump into relationships if you're not in that place. Saves a lot of issues

[Unit1]

But the problem is, that I wouldn't like to let go of a relationship opportunity. Say you asked me out today and I would respond "I really would love to! I just have a lot going on in my life at the moment and I am not sure if the relationship will work out as a result of being too busy. Doesn't mean we cannot try."

[peachykeenjellybean]

... because guys realize how great you are and realize they made a mistake.. it happens don't worry block em

[sundressgal]

Preach to that! 🙌

[peachykeenjellybean]

it's cool girl we've all been there!!

[FemWorship]

Well, it's not ALL about you but maybe your relationship seems to them to be a nice comfortable, "married" SOP life they are not yet ready to accept without a few more adventures, just to burn off steam, make damn sure this is IT (forever). After a few interviews & dry runs, they once again are reminded how brutal it is out there on the dating scene, so few matches and... they long for home = you & that lifestyle.

[JCrain]

Because they don't have self control and just want to chase the high of getting attention. Once they chase that high, and it fades, they run back to you because they can't come to terms with being lonely so they go back to, in their minds, the "sure bet"

[Sasisen]

Because you're awesome and they realize what they've lost. It's like that saying, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone"

[Aces_high]

Well if your picture is actually you then maybe because you are stunningly beautiful? or they suddenly realize that they had an amazing thing and lost it? I feel the same though, if I give someone a chance and they break it I am all out of do overs.

[sundressgal]

Yes it is and thank you! But yeah I feel it's smart. I've only ever done do overs when I was younger and they never work, so I stay away from that now haha

[Aces_high]

Same, mostly ended up in just being cheated on again so I switched from two strikes to one.

[ChriSaito]

I feel like it may be a combination of loneliness, and them remembering the good times, and forgetting why it didn't work. That being said, there is the rare occasion in which someone has changed and feels it may work better now than it did before.

[Truthatanycost]

It doesn't matter why. All you can control is your own behaviour. The better question is why you allowed them back into your life.

[Nephilim000]

Maybe you are awesome. and maybe guys are lazy and with you they don't have to get to know you from scratch

[sundressgal]

Very true! That could definitely be it!

[Nephilim000]

i hope it's the first one 😁

[reptocarl]

Because they're horny and can't find someone else to fuck so they come sniffing around to use you as a backup plan

[uknaked]

Obviously they have tried the rest, and tried to reconnect with the best!

[akadatank44]

Because they have no balls and never appreciated you u til you were gone is the short and sweet version.

[razor97]

Oh I am so sorry I will take you for whaqt you are!

[Anonymous]

Lol not so subtle humble bragging is not so subtle...

[sundressgal]

I don't see it as bragging. I feel there's nothing wrong with being confident in who you are as a person. I work to be a good girlfriend and I don't mind saying it lol

[QuietRunner]

because your a gorgeous, sexy girl and they want you

[Decentguy]

because you allow then to come back

[Decentguy]

Them*

[sundressgal]

Lol I don't though. When we break up I cut off contact. I don't talk to them, or give them any kind of signals or encouragement. And I've only ever taken back like 2, because I thought it might be worth a shot but mostly I reject them and continue on.

[Decentguy]

* I've only ever taken back like 2, because I thought it might be worth a shot*

this is where you allow them to come back

[redxiii74]

they come back because you let them

[Lumberman53]

They still have feelings

[Seppelson]

exes don't always come back

[Pizzalover101]

Cuz they want to get back they screwed up back

[Robsinsf53]

you're that good.