How do I get my life back on track?

[Anonymous]

Please Read and Help me out

I don't know if I can complete it in the desc. I'll complete with updates

My life has been crazy for the past few months and I'm unable to function properly. At times I have considered medical help, but never had the courage to go visit someone.

I'll explain what is wrong.

I moved to a new city about a year back for work. Had no friends, new place, new life, it took some time to adjust. The only person I had was my girlfriend. Unfortunately both of us had moved to different cities and it was the same for both of us. We had agreed that we would break things off if we ever had to move to different cities but keep our friendship intact. That did not happen though. As soon as we broke up, others started hitting on her. She went on a date and it hurt a lot. I can't complain though, it's no longer my business. What followed was even more catastrophic. She very kind and friendly, it didn't take much time since she had lots of friends and was enjoying her life. I, however, did not have things as easy. I struggled a lot to settle in. There's a language barrier, so making friends and talking to locals isn't as easy. I feel alienated. Even at my work, my coworkers seem to be distant. I tried my best to blend in, but it seems that people will interact with me only if I make the effort, they don't have any interest in communicating with me. My peers work from different locations and are kuch senior to me - in age as well as work experience. So I don't have an informal relation with them either. My ex started avoiding me, and she was the only person I could call a friend but her attitude towards me made me feel horrible. I tried my best to keep things together. I stopped interacting with her completely. I gave up all hopes for a better life. Some of the people whom I tried interacting with knew what I was going through, but I knew sooner or later they'd prioritize their lives and ultimately leave me alone (and that didn't take long).

Updates

9 mo

A few months back I got the opportunity to come back home for sometime. I thought it would help me feel better. It didn't. I'm so distracted. I have frequent nightmares. Mostly about my ex. I don't have anyone to express to, and even if someone comes to talk to me I can't open up to them. After the way my ex treated me even though we were so close and did not have any bad blood, I don't have the courage to come close to anyone.

Updates

9 mo

My whol life has turned upside down. I used to do so many things - listen to music, draw, watch anime and movies, but I just can't anymore. I've lost all interest. I tried forcing myself to do those but I couldn't, I give up midway. I tried the gym to keep myself distracted, nothing seems to work. If you meet me in person, you'll still find the same old smiling face but deep inside it's hurting so much. I wake up crying. Most nights I don't have sound sleep and wake up at the crack of down tears

[thatshydork]

Ok let me first start this off by saying that I’m no medical professional - but it seems time that you go talk to one about your mental health. I know that post-COVID 19 times it’s hard to get an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist, but that might really help you. When I go in for my appointments they always ask me if I’ve lost interest in the things I used to enjoy. That’s a sign of depression which is why they ask every time I go in.

As for the making friends bit - I’m from Seattle so I know how tough that can be. If you don’t know, Seattle is famous for many things. Being home to Starbucks, Amazon, Boeing, Microsoft, Costco, Nordstrom, etc. means that we’re known for many things. One of those things is called the Seattle Freeze. Despite the name, it’s not referring to the cold. What it’s referring to is how difficult it is for people to make friends here when they first move. What I suggest doing is finding people who you know have a common interest with you and start talking with them about those interests. Then eventually invite them places. No one likes to be the one who initiates so sometimes you have to be the one to do that.

[strateguy632]

those are symptoms that might be depression, so i would consult a psychologist first, then find an online lonely forum to meet lonely people