My ex confuses me and I don't know what do to?

[Anonymous]

Hi, so me and my ex (m/27) were together for 4 years (lived together for 3) and one day he just dumps me. He says it’s because he doesn’t know what he wants and he isn’t doing well mentally and therefore Can’t be in a relationship with me.

We agreed to go no contact, and set a date where we would talk about the experience. He broke no contact by asking if he could call me. I said yes and we tallet for a long time. Altho he said that nothing had changed, he didn’t know what he wanted and said he missed me.

Now he wonders if we should go into no contact again and i dont know what to do. All i want is to be together with him and everything hurts. I know no contact is probably the best way of not hurting so much, but i’m scared he won’t come back.

What do i do, and how will i know no contact is the right choice?

[Oliverlogan263]

It will be the best choice as I give you to my recommendations for moving forward in this difficult situation to give you ease of mind:

1) Focus on yourself, not him. You cannot control his actions or decisions, only your own. So use this time to reflect, heal, and grow as an individual.

2) Go no contact. This will give you both space to think clearly without the emotional turmoil of being in contact. Even if he reaches out, politely decline and stick to no contact.

3) Block/mute him on all platforms if needed. Out of sight, out of mind can help with moving on.

4) Spend time with friends and family, pursue hobbies, and keep busy. This will distract you from constantly thinking about him and the situation.

5) Consider seeking support from a therapist. They can help you process your feelings and navigate this breakup in a healthy way.

6) Give it time. Breakups are rarely linear, and his emotions and desires may fluctuate. But for now, you need to focus on healing and building your independence.

7) Don't panic. I know it's scary to worry he won't come back. But try to live in the present. The future is uncertain. For now, prioritize yourself and your wellbeing.

In summary, no contact is likely the healthiest choice right now. It will give you both space to think clearly, and you the chance to gain some independence and move on. Even if he does come back, you'll be in a stronger position and better able to decide if getting back together is right for you. I hope some of this helps. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[BoopBoopBeep]

No contact means no contact. He shouldn't have any reason to ask if he CAN call you, any means to do so, nor receive any response from you if he somehow does still manage to ask.

[Screenwriter]

IF someone. honestly tells you, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT," and leaves the relationship, take what they say at face value. He called you after the no contact because he is lonely, which he would be after living with someone for 3 years. But LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S SAYING. He still says he doesn't know what he wants.

Get help from a professional and grieve the loss of this relationship. This guy will keep coming and going because HE CAN with you. You will continue to be hurt by this situation. Find someone who is all in with you, not half in, half out, doesn't know what he wants etc..

YOU KNOW that you want an adult relationship. He doesn't know. Find a grief counselor and work through your feelings of loss and don't expose yourself to further hurt by a guy who can't make up his mind to be with you. Value yourself and let him go.

[Anonymous]

It's not he is abusing you pulling your heart strings!

There is a reason it is sudden and no contact wonder why he does not want you around who he will see and invite over!

Then get bored bring you back like nothing happened give you and std