What is something cruel a friend told you to help you move on?

[Anonymous]

I had a very good friend telling me "You are not the girl for him, he will find the girl for him to love and care for.. and it is not you".. like I understand what was she trying to do, I just found it very cruel to me while I am hurting, no one really wants to hear that the person they love and are dumped by will find someone else to love and care for and it is just not you.. I believe there are other things to be said in that case.. less harsh things. What do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's messed up what your friend said to you. When you're already down about a breakup, the last thing you need to hear is that the guy doesn't really care about you and will find someone better. That's just cold, you know?

Like sure, they were probably trying to get you to move on, but rubbing salt in the wound like that is uncalled for from a supposed friend. A real friend should be there to lift you up, not tear you down more.

If it was me, I'd tell that friend straight up their "advice" wasn't helpful at all and just made me feel worse. You deserve people who comfort and support you when you're hurting.

Next time, I'd say just let your feelings out to your friend about how the breakup has you feeling without them jumping in with judgments. And they should just listen, validate your sadness, and reassure you that your worth isn't defined by one guy.

Chin up luv, you'll bounce back from this breakup stronger without their rude comments bringing you down more. Surround yourself with positive vibes for now.

[Asker]

I am glad you agree that that was harsh.. like I am already trying to get over the fact that he was rude to me.. and now you have me thinking about him finding someone else and being happy with her and that that will never be me :( .. It honestly kinda turned me off from that friend.

[Asker]

I really like all your replies, you always give long elaborated replies, that's sweet of you :) thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I totally get why that turned you off from your friend. When you're already hurting over a breakup, the last thing you need is someone rubbing salt in the wound, ya know? Like you said, you were trying to get over him being rude to you. The last thing you wanna think about is him finding someone new to be happy with.

That would just twist the knife deeper. A good friend's job is to lift you up, not put you down more. For real though, try not to dwell on what your "friend" said. Easier said than done, I know, but all that matters is how YOU feel about yourself. Screw what anyone else thinks - you're awesome!

And don't sweat if he finds someone else or not. You're gonna bounce back ten times stronger without him weighing you down. Just focus on doing your thing and having fun with the people who genuinely support you. You deserve that for sure. And hey, my DMs are always open if an extra ear would help. We've all been there - you'll get through this!

Aw thanks, I'm just tryna give some real advice you know? Breakups are tough, so wanna make sure I say something helpful if I can. Wish I could take you out for a pizza or something to get your mind off it! But you seem like a good person - keep your head high luv, it'll all work out ☺️❤️

[Asker]

Actually I am the same person you replied to my other question when I said that my ex said he wishes he could hug me and things, then when I asked him if he at least regretted leaving me, he ghosted me and I was hurt :( you also gave me a long answer that kinda helped me.. yes. I am a very good person, very sweet and loving and this shit has completely ruined my life.. I will text you :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Really wow. Ah man, that really sucks. Breakups are the worst. I remember you telling me about all that stuff with your ex before. Sounds like he really messed with your head, ghosting you like that after saying he missed hugging you. That's just not cool. No wonder you're still hurting so much. But don’t let some jerk ruin your whole life! You said it yourself, you're a really good, sweet person. Don't let one guy change that. I know it doesn't help the hurt much right now, but in time you'll see there are way better guys out there who will treat you with respect. For now, just focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Hit me up anytime you need a friend to listen. We've all been there and come out the other side. You will too!

[Sasha0426]

Oh! I got stories.
For starters, I was friends with this married couple. They were my coworkers from work and we used to hang out a lot along with other coworkers we were friends with. We’ve known each other for 6 to 7 years. All of a sudden, things went south.
My male friend said to me once that he made a bet with our other friend that I would come back knocked up after coming back from Mexico on a family vacation. That stung a lot. He said he was “kidding.”
His wife, she found out I cancelled my two week notice from my job and said I chickened out. I had to because I didn’t have a job lined up. I was looking, of course. I explained that to her but, sarcastically, I said to her, “Unless you’re willing to pay my bills for me.” Her response, “Nah. You can get your sugar daddy to do that,” and walked away.
After all that, I cut contact with them. Best decision ever.