Is it me or him?

[Tearsdropp2]

OK, so in damn near every relationship i have ever been in has ended up in physical warfare. What do i do or what did they do to take things of me getting black n blue eyes?

[Anonymous]

Well you have to think to yourself sometimes, in all my past relationships what was the one key thing that was always there? You. Could you honestly say you’re innocent in all of this? That you don’t start fights? I have a cousin from Cali. She was my favorite cousin growing up. She’s single w 3 kids. Wonders why she can’t find someone. But the truth is she’s rowdy. She drinks, talks a lot of shit even to her own family members. She’s on meds, a lot of drama. That’s her life, she’s used to it. When things aren’t like that it doesn’t feel “normal” for her when things are quiet, peaceful. Maybe your father was like the men you’re meeting.

[Tearsdropp2]

Way wrong pal. My daddy is nothing like any of the guys I've been with. In my eyes no human ever could amount to even a 1/4 of man my father is. He is my hero on many occasions. Now my momma on the other hand was very volatile. (Rest in piece mommy) she used to get all worked up over nothing justbcz she was drunk. But I'm not going to wrap on my dead momma. Or sister (she was kinda the same way)

[Opinion Owner]

I see. So that’s more than likely where it came from. So now the thing is just figuring out how to change that. Would you say you’re more masculine than feminine? What about the men you date? What are they like?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa girl, that's not cool at all that your relationships been ending up with you getting hurt at all. No one deserves to feel scared or unsafe with their partner. Has he actually hit you before? If so that's definitely not okay and you shouldn't be with someone who does that. Maybe sit down with him when you're both calm and have a serious talk about how his actions make you feel and that violence is never acceptable. Let him know it needs to change or you're gone. But honestly, if he's actually putting hands on you already I'd just get outta there - your safety is the most important thing. You don't want to risk getting seriously hurt waiting for him to get help. Talk to people you trust too so you've got support. You don't deserve to live lookin over your shoulder, ya know?

[Tearsdropp2]

Oh I did talk to him n I have left. I only have to go get my dad n my kitten before either one of them get hurt. But with my ex i unfortunately will have to look over my shoulder the rest of my life

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. No one deserves to feel unsafe like that, especially not around someone who's supposed to love and protect you.

You're doing the right thing getting out of there ASAP before things escalate further. Your safety and your dad's and kitten's should be the top priority now. Is there someone you trust who can go with you for support when you get your stuff? You shouldn't have to face your ex alone.

And definitely file a police report so this is on their radar in case he tries anything. Maybe even look into a restraining order just to be safe long term. You shouldn't have to be scared of him forever, that's so messed up.

You'll get through this, you're clearly strong as hell to leave like you did. Lean on your friends and family for help right now too. And remember - none of this is your fault, you did nothing to deserve being treated like that. Stay safe girl and let me know if you need anything else!

[Tearsdropp2]

Yeah I have a few ears and eyes over there, I will go myself when I know 1000% my ex is not there. I just hope my kitten is OK. I'm sure she is she is my baby ba-lue (like off the jungle book) my shoulder riding kitty. I have started her training to lay on my shoulders and balance while in roller skating. N thank you like for really thank you my momma when she was alive she used to tell me my best but also my worst thing bout me when pushed too far I could make who ever pushed me miserable for the rest of their life, but I have always chosen not to instead I leave everything I own and start a new life. N I literally only have my daddy, n my best friend lupita... 24 years she has Ben in my life and not once has she ever ripped me off, or slept with my man unless she was invited.
She is my only ride or die bi***. But yes I will be sure to be safe :) n it's hard to ask for anything no matter how bad I need something ever something as simple as advice. But I'll keep it in mind thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're being really smart and careful about going to get your kitten when your ex for sure isn't around. I'm sure she's okay too, she sounds so cute riding on your shoulders while you skate! That's such a fun thing to teach an animal friend.

And your momma was right, you're clearly a strong lady who doesn't take crap from anyone. Leaving everything behind to start fresh is really brave. I'm glad you've got your dad and Lupita in your corner too, friends like that are so important.

Don't be afraid to lean on them when you need help or just want someone to vent to. And you can always message me too if you ever want someone else to listen. We've all gotta look out for each other, right?

It might be hard to ask for advice sometimes, but you seem like you know what's best for yourself and your safety. Just stay positive - better days are ahead once you get your kitty and farther away from that no good ex. You've got this!!

[BadApple69]

Let’s start off with NO ONE SHOULD EVER HIT YOU!
Now why is it every relationship, I fear you are attracted to the wrong type of guy. Yes the bad guy is more exciting to be with, until he hits you… I think you need to find a good guy for a change.

[Tearsdropp2]

I have had "the nice guy" switch on me just as much as a "bad boy" I must just be a physical abuse magnet

[BadApple69]

Sorry to hear that. I guess the only advice I can give is don’t let a guy get away with anything. The first time they show any aggression shut them down. Don’t let it escalate. The 2 things I despise in this world is child molesters and women beaters. When I come across those type of characters it always ends with me wiping blood off my boots.
For you… don’t take it! Walk away and don’t look back, no women deserves that. Nor does a child.

[ChangingConstance]

@BadApple69. I am curious about some things. Message me

[love_conquers_lust]

Can’t possibly answer that without more details.

Spouses shouldn’t be physically abusive to one another, nor is it healthy to instigate.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/n7bF3vwKpto

[FenixG45]

Well, if all your relationships end up in physical violence, then you need to be questioning what are you doing to attract this or choose this?

Get a therapist; it is probably going to take a LOT of work to STOP it. DO IT before someone gets seriously hurt or killed!

[boobliker]

change the type of men you go with, and don't stand for any rough stuff or loud stuff get gid asap

[Tearsdropp2]

Yeah someday

[Ironic_Method]

Sounds like you have a type.

[Tearsdropp2]

I hope not!!

[7Phoenix7]

Maybe you're attracted to them

[Anonymous]

You are picking the wrong guys.

[Tearsdropp2]

My dad has always said my "picker" is broken. So tell me how to pick the right guys? Teach me your ways Master

[Anonymous]

It's not you it's me.