Does he want to reconcile?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up just 1 week ago. He has been giving me lots of stress this year and he told me that he has to stop giving me stress, fix himself , solve all the problems around him and follow his head instead of his heart this time.

However, yesterday he sent me a phrase " I once had a thousand desires. But in my one desire to know you it all melted away".

He wants to talk to me again soon.. but do you think the phrase refers that he wants to get back with me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Based on what you've said, it does really seem like that phrase your ex sent is him maybe hinting that he wants to get back together. A few reasons I think that:

- He specifically said after the breakup that he needs to solve his own problems first before anything else. So sending you that lovey message now goes against what he said he needed to do.

- The phrase is like straight up romantic poetry about having just one desire to be with you over anything else. Doesn't get much clearer than that!

- He wants to talk to you soon too, which lines up with the message being about reconciliation.

I'd say there's a pretty good chance he's having second thoughts about the breakup and missing you like crazy. But you gotta be careful too - find out for sure that he's actually worked on his issues before committing again.

When you meet up, tell him you need honest communication from now on. If he's serious, maybe there's hope to get back what you had. But protect your heart in case he's still messed up too. Good luck! I hope it works out how you want.

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply! I really appreciate it. I was a bit confused after receiving this message. Also, English is my second language 🥺 I wasn't sure whether he meant about our past because he did give up a lot and stayed with me for few years.

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem luv, glad I could help provide some insight! And your English is really good, no need to apologize. Breakups can be confusing especially when another language is involved.

I definitely hear what you're saying about him giving up a lot in the past to be with you for years. That phrase could be him reflecting on all the strong feelings and memories from your time together.

It's hard to say 100% what he meant without talking to him directly. But either way, it does show he's been thinking a lot about you and your relationship since the breakup.

My advice would be to see what he wants to talk about, but also be clear about your own feelings and boundaries too. Don't get swept up until you're sure you both want the same thing moving forward. Communication will be key to figuring this out.

Hope the conversation goes well and you get some clarity soon! And let me know if any other questions come up - always here to help a dude out.

[Oliverlogan263]

Help a girl out

[Anonymous]

Honestly that phrase kind of sounds shitty. It’s like you’re to blame for everything wrong in his life. Like if I hadn’t met you I’d have been a famous rockstar, or I would have been working a six figure job in New York.
Please elaborate on how he was stressing you out?

[SueShe]

Well, let me tell you that much. He did not actually come up with that sentence himself but is copied from a quote from Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī, or simply Rumi, who was a 13th. century poet from Afghanistan. In essence, the poem says

“I once had a thousand desires,
But in my one desire to know you
all else melted away.
The pure essence of your being
has taken over my heart and soul.
Now there is no second or third,
only the sound of your sweet cry.
Through your grace I have found
a treasure within myself.
I have found the truth of the Unseen world.
I have come upon the eternal ecstasy.
I have gone beyond the ravages of time.
I have become one with you!
Now my heart sings,
“I am the soul of the world.”

By quoting this poem, he most probably does want to reconcile. However, be cautious because once everything is back to normal, people tend to take bad habits very quickly and the same situation you experienced in the past and that led to the separation may come back quicker than you thought...

[antelope51]

*sigh* People may work on themselves, but they will never "fix" themselves. So for either of you to hold out for him to change in the long term is foolish.

Even in the case of addiction and whatnot... I told a friend that we all loved him dearly, but we didn't want him to come back after he got out of his rehab program. He was successful on the other side of the state with his new friends and new support-structure, and I told him I suspected if he came back, he'd just fall back into old habits. Sure enough. So, rehab round 2 seemed to stick because he took my (and other people who wanted his success) advice and stayed out there. Met a lovely young woman, now married with kids, staying clean, happy, has a good job... it really turned his life around.

But whatever the case... sometimes the only way to "fix" something is to try something completely new. If you get too complacent, you go around on that carousel and neither one of you can move forward.

[LeeTina]

He still has you in his heart. I think men are a more nostalgic species. Maybe in his heart, you are always there.

[ProbablyClueless]

This is something you should really just ask him. You said that he wants to talk with you again soon; go into the conversation and listen to what he has to say.

[Nikki1989]

He sounds like a mess. You should just move on.

[Nice222]

Yeah he definitely does. Give him a chance and see what happens.

[Gent207-2]

Don't go back!

[In_Trance]

Move on