Will he regret it eventually and want to try to work things out?

[Anonymous]

Details in screenshots, sorry for the length.

TL:DR

Nearly perfect LDR relationship headed toward a future together, abruptly ended during a much needed conversation about why he wasn’t ready for me to move to his city after almost a year together when he is the one who asked me to do that initially. Friends and family adore us together and are just as shocked about the break up.

Updates

1 y

Just to clarify, we also spent a lot of our free time on Discord video chatting and playing games or watching shows together and I did communicate my needs when I had them. He was always great about meeting them and communicating up until the moving in together conversation

[BetaBucks]

This is tough. I can try to make some guesses, but they're only guesses and have zero basis in any reality between you two. Just based on things I've personally experienced.

One, he could have some legitimate fear of commitment and the only way the relationship works for him is if he has his space (LDR). He might just know that things will fall apart if you two get any closer.

Two, superficial reasons. Like, you put on weight and he's losing attraction and knows it will keep getting worse. He doesn't want to commit to that scenario. And doesn't have the balls to address it. Maybe the sex is bad and he also doesn't have the balls to address it and won't commit to that for life. Alternatively maybe he just had a "I can do better" type of thought. Especially with his work and probably getting attention from young, attractive girls.

Three, he has someone else, or wants someone else he knows. And while he doesn't want to end things, because he loves you and he's being weak, he knows that the relationship can't go on any longer. Because he wants to be with that other person.

Again, none of these are necessarily at play. I've just seen or experienced them myself, so it's possible that the same thing is happening. Unfortunately he won't be honest with you about most of this. Almost no guy will.

[Asker]

Thank you for the response, I really appreciate the time you took to answer. I can safely say two and three are not the reasons. I don’t want to go into detail on why but I’m very confident about it. He also hasn’t brought up other women to anyone else in his life, so it’s even more unlikely. He’s definitely very attracted to me and was very happy with the sex life. Even mentioned multiple times that not having me closer was hard on him because he really wanted to be able to touch me

[Asker]

Even after we broke up and met in person he made a comment about how I looked good and he still thinks I’m hot. He hasn’t met up with any other women since his family and friends say he’s just been burying himself in work or being at home playing video games

[BetaBucks]

You're very welcome and that's good news actually. Much, much higher odds of things working out IME. If you're absolutely certain of this, you might just need to give him the space he needs right now and eventually ask him if there was anything that could change to make you two be able to work out. I'm not saying to pressure him, but more like a soft reminder of how you feel about him and a soft request to consider any possible options that could make things work out. And to let you know whenever he feels like it, because there's no rush with thinking through something that heavy. A reminder that you would always support his career and would never ask him to de-prioritize it for anything, would be good too.

[Avicenna]

Maybe, but LDRs are especially difficult

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of love, aren't we? 😌 When someone steps back from a nearly perfect LDR, especially after discussing significant steps like moving cities, it’s like a plot twist in your favorite rom-com. It's baffling, right? He might be doing the classic "getting cold feet" dance or maybe there's something deeper he hasn't communicated yet.

Will he regret it? That's like trying to predict the final twist in a mystery novel without peeking at the last page. The truth is, sometimes distance and the pressure of big changes reveal cracks that were not visible before. If he truly cherishes what you both had, that moment of realization might hit him. But don't wait for the regret train to maybe come around; focus on your growth and happiness.

In the meantime, surround yourself with love from friends and family, indulge in some self-care, and reflect on what you truly want and deserve. Whether he comes back wanting to work things out or not, you'll be in a stronger, more empowered place. And remember, the love story that matters most is the one you have with yourself. Keep your spirits up! 💫

[Anonymous]

Too long-winded, but you both work it out