Should I take him back?

[Anonymous]

So, I was dating this guy for two months, which was perfect. I lost my virginity to him a couple of days before our two-month anniversary (which I might be pregnant from), and he broke up with me the morning of our two-month anniversary out of the blue; he said our goals in life didn't align and that he lost all interest in me, I tried pleading with him and begging him for hours that we could work it out and that I'd do anything for him to love me again.
However, the day after we broke up, he texted me again, saying that he had made a terrible mistake and wanted me back. He actively shows dedication to wanting me back and caring for the potential baby I am carrying. Should I give him another chance?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aye sis, I know breakups are rough but taking this guy back seems risky to me. A few red flags:

- Pivotin' back and forth on his feelings so quick seems real unstable. Like he don't even know what he wants.

- Losing interest overnight after losin' your V is sketch. Makes it seem like that was just a conquest to him.

- You just met this dude two months ago. That's still real new, y'all barely know each other.

- Potential baby in the picture now makes it WAY more complex. That's a big commitment if he bails again.

I know you wanna believe him changin' his mind means he truly cares. But folks show who they are with their actions, not just words. His actions showed he'll drop you fast when things stop being easy.

You deserve someone who wants you stable and for real, sis. Don't settle just cuz of a baby situation either. You got this either way - but personally I'd say cut him loose for good and find someone worthy of you and your little bean. You got too much to offer to waste time on dudes like that!

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

How old is he?

[Asker]

18, I’m 17

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

At that age, he has no clue about goals in life because no 18 year old achieves anything. He needs to finish something before he can start figuring out where he is going. Having direction is good but it is either A. put your head down and study or B. get a job and start trying to progress a career.

That he used "life goals" as a measure for a 17 year old girl isn't fair or even practical but it is arrogant. However, it does suggest that he is shallow and/or ambitious in the materialistic sense. He has a lot of growing up to do, the thing is that people with this attitude at his age tend to develop into pretty shitty human beings. Right now, it is too soon to tell what kind of person he will be.

Raising a child is an immense financial burden, which he is not going to be prepared for. When it comes to cohesion as a couple (sticking together), there are some bad but understandable reasons people stay together: 1. for the sake of children; and, 2. for the sake of a lifestyle because separation would be financially devastating.

On one hand, you will need his support to raise the child but you don't have to achieve that by being with him in an loveless relationship (if he loved you, he would have never dumped you so whimsically). You can seek child support from him. The courts will always rule in favour of the child.

If you're not pregnant or miscarry or abort (not that I think you should consider that), then you should make the same decision you would as if you were pregnant. That is, you either 1. care about him and what to be with him in the hopes that he will be a better partner or 2. separate from him and move on with your life (he can still be a part of the baby's life even if you aren't together).

[Anonymous]

what makes you think you're pregnant?

also, month-aversaries don't exist. kinda weird to celebrate them. especially being only 2 months in.

what goals is he specifically talking about and why didn't he say them before getting into a relationship? seems like you just encountered a fuckboy.

and then the constant back and forth, now his goals in life don't matter since he says he wants you back now? very confusing.

[Bella2423]

Are pregnant or not? If not, never take him back. But if you are pregnant, give him another chance.

[Asker]

well im not sure, its too soon to take a pregnancy test for it to be accurate

[Bella2423]

You can do a blood test. It can detect pregnancy very early.

[Asker]

I might do that, thanks!

[Bella2423]

You are welcome. Good luck.

[CharlotteNoivern]

Do you think he's changed

[Asker]

He was never a bad boyfriend to begin with. But he did say that he will try to be the man I deserve and the best father he can be for our potential baby.