I told my ex to make a decision on either being with me or letting me go?

[Anonymous]

We broke up and I said I still wanted to try and work things out cause the break up wasn't thought through and he said he doesn't know and I gave him a couple days and I told him today I want his answer but he wasn't available all day and came back tonight and were just having a normal conversation like everything is fine but we are exes, thoughts on what to do? I need to know where I stand , he calls me baby now and then , gives mixed signals but doesn't say anything else.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's really confusing on his part. On one hand, I can see why you want some clarity and don't want to be strung along in limbo. At the same time, pushing him too hard for an answer right away may backfire. Here are a few thoughts:

- Remind him gently you care about him but need to know where you stand for your own well-being. Say "no hard feelings" either way so he feels no pressure.

- Suggest taking a few more days apart, no contact, so you're both sure what you truly want outside influence. Absence makes heart grow fonder.

- Set a firm but reasonable deadline you'll accept any answer by. Give him that time, then stick to moving on if no reply.

- Actions speak louder than words. Watch if his behavior changes - does he make an effort to see you? That shows interest.

- Focus on you in the meantime. Do your own thing and don't sit around waiting on his call. Live your life either way.

- Mixed signals suck. Be casual not needy when talking. Don't play into it if he's trying to keep you on back burner in case nothing else works out. You deserve better than that!

The ball's in his court now. Hope he comes around but you gotta take care of you either way bro. You'll be aight!

[Asker]

Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure madamé ☺️

[Anonymous]

If I was him I’d let you go. You’re giving an ultimatum. Don’t like those. Maybe he really likes you but you’re pushing him away.

[Asker]

How am I pushing him away

[Opinion Owner]

Because you’re making him decide. What brought you to say that to him? What’s going on?

[Asker]

Our breakup was all of a sudden, he broke up with me and I like an idiot went back after a week and said hey I wanna fix this if ur willing so he said he doesn't know and I said well think about it and let me know gave him several days but I mean can't really be waiting for an ex to be sure about me longer then that now can I? So I said well it's either you try and fix things or let me go

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like you have some issues that’s why he dumped you like that.

[Asker]

Thanks you're very helpful