Ex told me to move on, and then got upset when I told him I was?

[Anonymous]

We were together for 2 years, but broke up two days ago. We've been in contact via texting but haven't seen each other. Tomorrow was supposed to be our 2 year anniversary, so I asked him if I was supposed to care. He said "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you". Obviously I got upset and things got heated. Finally he sent me a message saying "You need to find a rebound. I'm trying to move on, and you're not letting me". I said (and it was true) "I have a rebound, he's been texting me for the last two days". At that he got FURIOUS. Called me a Bi*** and that it was a real Cu** thing for me to tell him that.

I'm confused, he just said that he wanted me to find a rebound so why did he get so upset when I told him I had one?

[Anonymous]

You're single, you can do what you want. However, that was a real bitch move. You had your rebound the day you two broke up. The same day you and your man broke up is pretty messed up. If you cared about him at all, you would've started getting your rebound at LEAST a week later. I would normally wait about a month after a break up to start talking to someone else. For 2 reasons. Even if it is just a rebound, I can't get over a girl just like that. And 2, it will show that I had respect for the girl. It shows that you actually respected your relationship and valued the time you guys had. Whereas if you find a rebound shortly after, in your case, the same day according to what you wrote here. You are saying that you didn't care about the relationship whatsoever, and just dated him just because it was something to do. I'm not saying that's how you feel or how you are, but in a guys mind that's how it works. Also, if you loved someone (or liked a lot) and were together with them for 2 years, and then you and that guy broke up, and then later that same day he's all over another girl. Whether it be physically, through texting, or whatever. That would hurt you, and you would think, did your relationship even mean anything to him whatsoever? Or were you just some sort of game to him.

So the reason why he got pissed that you told him you had a rebound was the fact that it happened the day you guys broke up and you didn't even wait afterwords. And in all honesty, that is a bitch move. Just like if a guy did the same thing to a girl, he would be called a huge f***ing jackass. Now if you would've waited for him to tell you, and then afterwords find a rebound, he has no reason to get mad because he told you to do it and THEN you did it. But in this case he has plenty of room to get upset.

But all in all, you are single now, you can do whatever you want. It was just a disrespectful thing for you to do, and that is why he called you a bitch. That doesn't mean you are one, and that doesn't mean you should stop talking to this rebound or anything. Just that you will know not to find another guy so quick next time. Assuming you want to show that you cared and respect your previous partner.

[Asker]

I'm not a bitch. You just don't know the whole story. 2 hours after breaking up I found out that he was already contacting other girls. Girls who had given us problems before. You don't think that didn't hurt like hell? If you want the truth, I really want to be with my ex, I'm talking to this guy as a way of distracting myself (after all, isn't that what a rebound is for?). Before I get called a bitch for that too though, let me say that I told this rebound guy that I'm fresh out of a

[Asker]

relationship and couldn't promise him anything. My question was why did my ex get so upset when that's what he told me to do? That's what apparently he's doing. Why does he even care?

[Opinion Owner]

I never said you were a bitch, just what you did was a bitch move. Now this was me just knowing only a small portion of the story. If you only tell half of the story, I can only tell you what my observation is based on the story you gave me. Now if he started talking to another girl, whom was already giving you guys problems in the pass, then he's just a d*** and you should move on and find someone better. Now the information you just gave me tells me to tell you a different answer as to why.

[Opinion Owner]

He said that. He's a self-centered d*** who clearly only thinks of himself. He wants you to be respectful of him even though he's not doing the same. Also he is trying to make you feel like the guilty one by calling you a bitch for doing something like that. I will say you did word your original post in his favor. So.. that's the reason why I believe. He just wants you to feel bad for doing something that he himself did. He's being hypocritical. Definitely move on from him and by all means

[Opinion Owner]

continue distracting yourself with this other guy. As for the rebound guy, he may know your fresh out of a relationship and you can't promise him anything. But if I was you, I wouldn't try and get too serious with him UNLESS you can actually see yourself with him. Also, I wouldn't go around saying he's your rebound. If he finds out, it MIGHT not end pretty. Maybe a nice relationship will happen with this new guy. Even if he's just a rebound, or a distraction.

[shyandhorn]

sounds to me like he was telling you to do something (move on ), to make you want him/ him feel superior ! but when reality set in he was not happy with the advice he gave you.

honest is the best option! if you like him tell him if its over tell him, if its over but you still like him tell him that. but make it plan its over and a thing of the past. be straight with him, if he's prepared to be the same with you then listen, DONT EVER say anything just to p*ss him off ! its the only thing he will remember and makes the wholes talking thing pointless and it will turn into an arguement.

life is far to short to be unhappy and to keep grudges. you never know what tomorro brings be an adult and act like when.

[Tamikaze]

Just because someone tells you to do something doesn't mean they actually want you to do it. This applies to the 100th degree in break-ups and especially when you are having a heated argument. Also, keep in mind, he may just have been looking for a reason, even a trumped up one, to vent on you. By telling him that you are talking to someone else, you gave him the perfect opportunity to go from feeling badly about what he did to you to thinking you are the one who is in the wrong.

In the end, none of this matters. Even when someone breaks up with you, it does not mean they are 100% happy about it or over you. They may have broken up for the wrong reasons or they know in their heart the breakup is what they want but they still miss elements of what you had together and miss some of the emotional support they got from you.

What I suggest is to eliminate contact. This texting and talking is not going to be of any help to either of you. It is only prolonging and intensifying the pain involved. Now it has only been 2 days since the break-up so I get it, most of us don't breakup and stop talking 100%, at least not in a situation where we were together for several years. Just keep in mind while you two keep talking to each other, pretty much nothing you say to each other is going to follow the rules of common sense or decency. Knowing that, it will be in your best interest to avoid these texts and talks. Good luck!

[taurene]

Haha that happened to me... I had an ex who was like oh yea go be with your boyfriend and leave me alone. Don't ever talk to me again... and when I did start dating my current boyfriend he exploded and was so mad. He also proceeded to blow up my phone and wouldn't leave me alone. Guys hate rejection, they can't handle it. It makes them feel less manly. You just have to decide what's more worth it. A guy who only gave you hell? Or just focusing on improving yourself and making yourself feel better. Trust me, he's only concerned with his feelings. If you give in and show him that you would give up the rebound guy for him, he'll just take it as a win and dump you on the side of the road again. for your best interests and happiness hun, get away as FAST AS YOU CAN!

[wkwan81]

He's upset and you're upset cos both of you are stressed out because of the break-up (which is still very raw) and as you already had a heated argument, people say things to one another that only ends up hurting one another. I've been there before. If he is upset, let him be upset, but you need to concentrate on your own emotions right now, and doing what makes you feel better. Also, don't let him guilt trip you by making you feel you are wrong, careless, selfish, etc. Also, don;t guilt trip yourself. It is easy to have a heated argument with the ex and feel like it was all your fault, and you shouldn't have said stuff, which made him say stuff, and he went off crying etc.

[Luv2Rock89]

1st of all why did you ask him if you're supposed to care that it's your two year anniversary? that's just starting a fight. 2nd, yeah he has a right to be mad because it's really weird for you to tell your EX you have a rebound. I really just don't understand why you would do something like that...unless you're trying to make him jealous, & by the sounds of him telling you to move on it seems like you're just annoying him by still talking. he had no right to call you names though... I would leave everything alone until you two can talk and be civil with one another. both sides need time to heal from the break-up. the only reason he might be furious (other than annoyance) is you having a re-bound within two days of the break-up? makes it seem like you're not hurt by him & the relationship didn't mean that much to you.

[Asker]

I asked about the anniversary because I was trying to find out if he cared. It was dumb but I wasn't trying to start a fight. He was the one who told me to get a rebound, I didn't know what to say except tell him that I had one. Also, he's been initiating contact with me too, calling me hun and babe so I doubt I've been annoying him.

[CelloChum]

Because he expected you to be moping around for him. He's just mad that you replaced him. People always have double standards, "it's okay for me to, but not you."

I really think you should just stop contacting him. You both just keep hurting each other. I know you want him back, but you need to give a guy space because honestly no one can make decisions with pressure.

[cutiepie21]

HAHAHAHAHAH wowww good one! he is feeling like he was played! LOLLL man same exact thing happened to me...i wish I could have done what you did! damn...lol

you showed him where he belongs! good job girl! don't care bout him...he wanted to hurt you but it backfired ! LOLLLLLL I can't stop laughing!

[Myth024]

He may have misunderstood and thought you were referring to him as the rebound guy because you two have been texting for the past few days as well.

So basically from your question I get that you and your ex have been texting the past two days but you have ALSO been texting the "rebound" guy. Your ex may have thought you were referring to him as the rebound guy which would have been a bit messed up. That may be the real reason he got upset at you.

[Asker]

No, that wasn't it. He knew what I meant, but thanks for your comment.

[Soon103]

You're so cruel to the dude. I hope you were lying to him for making the last two years into nothing. Just a waste of time for the both of you. I can see him tell you that this would never happen again, but to tell the man your dating within a day is so hurtful. I would text the dude and let him know that you're not dating and told him that because its none of his concerns.

I think if you wanted this guy back then you just killed all the trust that could or will be established. This is really over because if you get back together he would look at this as cheating. You don't go out with other when your heart belongs to someone else. I would cut all contatct because this is over as far I can see it.

Get a rebound guy if you like but at least wait a week!

[Asker]

First off, I'm not dating the other guy, just texting and I told him that I was just out of a relationship and couldn't promise him anything. I wasn't trying to be cruel, I just responded to him telling me to move on. The two years meant everything to me, why else would I care about the fact that our anniversary was supposed to be today?

[Soon103]

shyandhorn, gave you the best advice. I was only looking at his point of view and how he may see this event. Not what you were actually doing or seeing. I bet he doesn't want to hear it and you can't blame him. You moved on. Ex's or an ex for a reason, now leave him in the past b4 more hurt come from this. Who cares is other don't agree this action would have hurt anyone, Two days and texting another dude. You wouldn't be able to text me if I was him.

[debsman]

Whenever anyone broke it off with me, I looked at it as if the ex has passed on. No contact, none of this "let's be friends" stuff, she is gone and is not coming back. You go on with your life and remember the good times ya had and learn from what went wrong in the relationship. Remember, you didn't need him to live your life before you met him and ya don't need him to live/move on with your life now. Your old life with him is in the past. Start a new life as of right now.

[Sapphires4Life]

You know that ingnorance is bliss? This was one of those moments. He probably didn't think you'd find a rebound that quickly, and therefore, was quick to anger. But... might not want to tell an ex that TWO days after you break up, next time.

[Anonymous]

He got furious because he wants you go get on your knees, beg him to not to leave you and cry a river, while holding his leg... weeeheeee.!

After breaking-up... he becomes "THE EX" whatever you do, it's your life and your decision...

If I were you, I would tell him... "move on or not, rebound or not IS MY BUSINESS... and If I would do it, it would have come out of my decision... no body tells me to do things."

You don't owe him any answer to his childish question... just walk away.

[Anonymous]

My ex did the same thing to me, he told me to sleep with someone else. That really hurt me. Anyways, look, you guys broke up. All that other stuff is just details.

[Opinion Owner]

It is also pretty selfish of him to say that, considering you are trying to get over him too. Why did you guys even break up?

[Asker]

We broke up because in the last month we've been fighting a lot. During the last arguement he said he wanted to be done

[needlessthing]

becasue for anyone to have a rebound 2 days after a 2 year relationship...makes you a slut...not to mention cold hearted. I mean really...it take a really shallow, cold heard, self centered, and a pure evil slut for someone to be with another person 2 days after a break up from a serious relationship.

[Asker]

She didn't say she slept with the guy, and her ex told her to get a rebound...

[Boogaloo]

Dont answer a question if you're just going to shout abuse sunshine

[dmond]

i agree with this dude

[Asker]

I don't agree. I'm not a slut in the slightest.

[needlessthing]

dont put questions up to the public if all you want is sunny happy sunshine answers. Either way you put it...talking to a possible rebound guy the same day you break up with someone. guy or girl, is a slutty and cold hearted move. If it was a guy that asked the question I would have told him he was a scumbag...maybe people should stop telling others what they want to hear and instead what they need to hear...then maybe morons will stop making retarded choices.

[Asker]

Oh, but it's okay for him to be talking to other girls? That's fair.

[needlessthing]

well first off you didn't say he was talking to other girls in your original question...if he is then he is a tool bag also. What is wrong with peoples morals these days? no sympathy or compassion for people you spend so much time with. Were is the loyalty that goes along with friendship? My advice..if the 2 of you are more concerned with rebounds and less with why you arnt upset over a 2 year break up then maybe you shouldn't date anyone.

[xxx91]

he sounds like my ex. He told me to move on and I said okay I'll start dating. Not like I was going to right away but then he got mad. I think he wanted control over you but you had more power so he felt upset you got the upperhand

[Anonymous]

Projection. He obviously wants to find a rebound and get over you but cant. And what you said exacerbated the problem.

Leave him be. Let him figure things out. If he wants to reconsile he will once he's done that.

Water finds its own level.

[MWalsh89]

While it's possible he doesn't love you anymore, he still sees you as his and right now isn't yet comfortable for you to be with anyone else. Eventually he'll be fine, but right now, everything's still fresh.

[cutieuk]

Dont tell him anything you have no reason to, your playing stupid games for attention and to hurt him. Your relationship with your ex is over get on with your life and let him get on with his! Absoloutly no reason for you tell him what your doing it's none of his business. You do sound mean I hope he finds a nice girlfriend.

[Asker]

Actually I'm not mean at all. I'm a very nice girl. We say stupid things when we're hurt.

[12elizabeth]

he got a little jealous that you got a head start before he did lol

[flash125]

People want what they don't have (anymore).

[Eddieguitar]

he's obviously jealous.

[Bluegameroyon]

love... what a drug.