Is it normal not to be married or have children by the age of 30?

Question

Unfortunately, I have no luck when it comes to men. Where do you find good men?

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

They are probably in your friend zone.

Anyway. It used to be weird. Most people were married with kids by age 25.

Feminism taught generations of women that working and serving bosses was the most important thing and that it was oppression to follow their biological true purpose/roll of having children and caring for them.

I mean there have ALWAYS been some women they worked and that never married or had kids but they were the minority. Most women didn't have the "PILL" and sex brought children. Men cannot have children and were the bigger, more logical, builders of society. Every house, apartment, skyscraper, bridge, sewer line, power grid, water system, road system, food supply is built and maintained by men. Women SUPPORT men they do not build and maintain the physical society.

Feminism taught women that acting like men and working all the time was their true purpose. I mean they still don't do any of the society building needed jobs but they have vital roles in healthcare and education. Now with the pill and the push of hook up culture it is much more common for women to put off the God given/mother nature natural course for mankind.

They scientifically stopped pregnancies and taught women to seek stressful jobs and sleeping around with multiple partners rather than committing to one and starting a family. The pill stops babies and promotes sleeping around instead. I'd say that it is now common to not be married by 30 and to not have any kids ever.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It’s better to be alone then with someone who makes you miserable. I see both men and women rush into relationships. Because they wanna be married, have kids, etc. But end up wasting most their life with someone who isn’t meant to be. To either end in a ugly divorce or a ugly life here.

Cute_Miss_Laura · Accepted Answer

Normal? Yes! Is it common? No! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting married at 22, and starting a family by 25 if you find the right person! My grandmother had my mom at age 20, and my other grandmother had my dad at age 22. My mom had me at 34! But to be fair, she did have medical school after college, and she joined the US Army after med school, to be guaranteed a surgery specialty. She gave up a lot of rank by not going in as a board certified trauma surgeon, but she also saved a LOT of time! Also she didn't have to worry about not getting the internship of her choice! Once she finished OCS, she immediately began her surgery training! After she was board certified in both general surgery (which is NO big deal) and trauma surgery, (Very big deal) and add in a few years going between Germany and Afghanistan, and she got pretty burned out pretty quickly, seeing so many healthy young men, die or lose limbs, and she separated from the military. She also made a LOT of friends for life. As for me, as soon as I have my practice open, that will be a low cost / no cost mental health center for girls between 11 and 17 who have been molested and/or raped by a family member or other trusted adults; coach, doctor, teacher etc… Then I’ll want to start having kids as soon as possible!

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

In modern society that is becoming normal because most young women chase after the hottest guys that will fuck them and reject guys within their league that would marry them. That includes you and other women that have unrealistic standards. In China and Japan, women your age are called left-over women and now your only options are divorced or left-over men.

If you are looking for answers, there is no magic; it is all based on the law of supply and demand. If you are demanding a high value men when you are not young and beautiful, it is hopeless You can still get married; however, since you are a dozen years past your prime, you will have to settle for less attractive men that are willing to settle for you.

Good men are everywhere. However, if you think you are doing well, they are unlikely to marry you. They will only marry you if they think they are doing well. If you have not had success with men, a ten percent chance it is you attitude but most likely it is unrealistic standards.

Women your age ask "Where are all the good men?" That is because they recall the men they rejected when they young and far more desirable and now the men they rejected when they late teens and early twenties, no longer want them. Young women never ask that question.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Absolutely! Life's not a race, and everyone's timeline is flavored with their own spice. In the dazzling world of love, being 30, fabulous, and free can actually be an asset. Think about it: you've got the wisdom, the sass, and the freedom to explore what truly makes your heart flutter.

Now, onto the million-dollar question: Where to find those elusive good men? Believe it or not, they're out there, probably wondering the same about finding someone as awesome as you. My top tip? Dive into your passions. Whether it's a cooking class, a hiking group, or an online photography forum, when you're doing what you love, you radiate confidence and attract people who share your interests and values.

And don’t forget, love can surprise you in the least expected places—so keep your eyes open, your heart ready, and who knows? The next coffee queue or bookshop browse could turn into the meet-cute of your dreams. 🌟💕

ohsheeT · Answer

I don't think you can put an age on anything really I mean when the right person walks into your life you'll know it..

So I don't think anything is normal what is normal anyway.

It's one thing just being in a relationship that's just as good as being married and a lot of different ways it depends on who you are and what you want but I think you're fine.

If you're looking for something like that you need to get out more there are places to go to to meet people because if you're at home they're not going to find you there not unless you're online and.
That's always fun to start out that way

Finchie40 · Answer

I hope so , I was married with kids at the age of 23 lol

Avicenna · Answer

It's pretty normal these days

Anonymous · Answer

Actually, it is increasingly "normal."

In part, simply because as an economy industrializes and modernizes, the incidence of marriage declines and fewer children are born. Hence the population ages as is happening in most of the Western world now.

Beyond that, ethical standards have changed. Thus the "need" for marriage is declining. Right now, in the USA, almost half of all children who are born - and that number recall is declining overall - are born out of wedlock.

Indeed, my girlfriend and I are part of this statistic. When I got my girlfriend pregnant, we moved in together and began planning for a wedding for after the baby was born. Then - surprise! though it probably should not have been - I got my girlfriend pregnant again.

It was during this second pregnancy that we began to realize that we did not want to be married. We love what we share and we did not think an expensive ceremony, a pricey ring, and a permission slip from the state would add to what we share. So, three children later, we are living together and not married.

Then, bonus round, about two years ago I was contacted by a woman with whom I had a one night stand years ago. I got her pregnant but she decided not to tell me and to raise the baby on her own. It was only as my son neared his 14th birthday that she decided our son should know his father and - amazingly - she tracked me down and I learned that I have a teen son.

Getting to know him was a bit awkward at first, but we have grown close and although he does not live with me - except for weekends, some holidays and a few weeks in the summer - we have grown quite close. To her credit, the woman I had sex with has done an amazing job raising our son. Though I do regret that I missed so much of his younger years.

That is my story, but I had a few advantages including a good paying job that allowed me to pay for my choices and my "accidents." Suffice to say, many men and women are not in that position and so you have fewer marriages and fewer children. (Also, in fairness, my experience was the exception as most children raised outside the traditional two parent family do not, statistically speaking, do so well as measured by grades, income, health, etc.)

Bottom line, though I cannot speak to your specific circumstances, your experience is increasingly the norm. Indeed, as the population ages in demographic terms, will likely be more normal all the time, at least in the Western world.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

First, define "good men".

Most times I hear someone utter that phrase, they have plenty of good men around, they just don't see them because they are missing some random trait.

I saw a poll recently that is very telling. Men were asked if they would want a relationship with someone who had 80% of what they would seek in a spouse and the overall majority agreed that person would be a catch!

However when they polled women, the overall majority responded "absolutely not, that is settling", and they didn't feel like they needed fo settle.

This is very telling in just how entitled and demanding western women have become.

Then most women are still focusing on using social media and dating apps which the overall majority of men on those are only looking for quick hookups. There have been multiple articles on the largest news reporting agencies where men are now completely ignoring match maker events, dating apps have had a significant decrease in men wanting relationships signing up and even clubs have reported a significant decline in men attending except those looking for sex partners.

Even the most recent study stated that by 2030, just 6 years from now, 50%+ of all western dating age women between 20 and 45? will be single, most childless and a good percentage of the younger generation will never experience a committed relationship during their adult lifetime. The dating dynamic at this point is dead and fast going extinct.

The "normal " men who still value traditional relationships have now removed themselves from the western market entirely in favor of seeking wives internationally.

Lynx122 · Answer

It is normal. Soon the majority of women in their 30s will be single and childless. The dating game has just changed a lot. Being married is just not as attractive and as necessary and as culturally valued as it used to be in the west. The women of the past basically thought they'd always find a man to marry if they really wanted one and took it for granted and pursued sexual freedom and other things. And now this is the society we live in.

I was in India and there everybody still gets married and men do everything for women not just the women they're dating but friends and acquaintances as well. They foresee every need that the woman might have and try to help her before she asks for it. Because the role of husband and man is still respected and appreciated and it's a traditional society. I was very interested in the cultural differences and a lot of things that aren't done anymore where I live because everybody is expected to be self sufficient and do their own thing.

Personally I thought there was something attractive about the traditional way. It takes a lot of effort and it would take some adjustment for me to learn all the habits and skills that I don't have, but the feeling is just better.

SallyTho87 · Answer

Yes. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

I'm 31, I am not married, nor do I have children, as I don't want kids.
I'm still currently focusing on my own aspirations, continuing my education whilst enjoying a full time career I have worked very hard to obtain.
I enjoy the freedom and opportunity to focus on myself, my own goals, and set time aside to enjoy my favourite things like art, spending time with friends / family, etc.

If YOU want to be married, and have children, you can always do Invitro fertilization with a donor if you really want kids of your own. You can adopt a child, or have one yourself to welcome a baby into your life, even without a partner or a relationship. You can focus on having a child and being a single parent, and choose to date later in life in a mean to find that partner for marriage.

We all want different things in life, and we all have different plans, desires, goals. if YOU want marriage, dating is the only way you'll find it. Be clear and concise with what you are seeking, be upfront so it helps you by not wasting your time with people who are not interested in YOUR goals, like marriage / kids. We get one shot at life, so do what YOU want to do. 30 is freakin young! My parents are now married 27 years , my mum was 36 when she met my dad, who was nearly 40. They had kids using fertility treatment and married within 2 years. It'll be their 28th anniversary THIS summer!

I have a friend who was married for 12 years, had kids, and is now getting divorced as she married at a young age with her first boyfriend (19) and feels she has missed out on a lot of life, dating experiences, and is divorcing at 34, and is starting over, looking to have more kids into the future.

Please don't ever feel pressured or like you may be behind, or not normal... you ARE normal, and it's entirely okay to be 30 without kids, and without a marriage.

ZackBan · Answer

It's definitely been "normalized" so you're good to go.

However what can't be normalized is the biological clock, unfortunately if you want healthy offsprings you will have to make it happen in the not so distant future.

But I would advise agaisnt jumping in bed with the first john dick or hary that's fertile enough to get you pregnant. That's how divorces and single parenthood happen.

I've dated single moms in the past and trust me on this: they have demons that will never go away. No matter how strong of a front they put up or how loud they claim to be happy. There will always be something missing or broken.

So what you should try to do is double effort:

First of all don't belive the lie that women can get men at the snap of a finger and that you're somehow an exception. Work on yourself, make your mind and body healthy through exercise and reading

And second change up your social circles, travel if you can, make new friends, maybe join a new group activity. Do what you need to do to breakup your past routine.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is
"If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done"

lightbulb27 · Answer

I've seen other women have the same problem. I don't think it is normal or abnormal. It is frustrating...

I've seen women find good guy sin 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's. I've seen people find good quality committed boyfriends and husbands, even recently. It isn't like they are the most "this or that", they just connect.

They are out there. They are looking, walking around. It seems, not where you are at.

So I'd take up some new activities and meet new people. Meet lots of people, go to events, be avaialble whever you are... grocery, etc. It's just like fishing... try other ponds, bait, techniques. there are fish out there!

warning though, it's more like sifting through a junk yard for good parts. That's a bummer, but there is a lot of human damage, so look for quality and be quality so you attract the best.

It's ludicrous complex and difficult, and it's unecessary. It will also require some relational, dating, communicatino skills. good luck to you!

sunflower00 · Answer

Yes, it has become pretty normal. I think people are waiting far more than they used to to get married and have kids. It is really expensive to do that now and most people want to be financially stable before going ahead with these huge life commitments.

I know a lot of single people in their early 30s, in relationships but not married, no kids. There are also of course people I know who are 23 and married with multiple kids.

Life is not a race as someone else said and things happen at different times for different people. My dad’s partner has got two kids now (my little brothers ages 4 and 1) and she’s late 30s, my dad is in his 40s. They are wonderful parents and are waiting to get married until they can afford it.

DextroShade · Answer

Sadly it's common because feminism has largely destroyed the traditional family unit as intended.

You want to find a good man? Here's what you do: look in your friend-zone or at the men you rejected because they weren't Chad Thundercock. At 30 you will not have the same options you had in your 20's and you will have to settle because any guy would also be settling for you. Also, remember these 3 rules: don't be fat, don't be a hoe, and don't be a bitch.

Or you can buy a dog and die alone as a miserable bitter spinster.

Lliam · Answer

"In 2021, the average woman gave birth for the first time at 27.3 years old, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention." But that's an average. So, considering that lots of women have children in their teens and early 20s, a lot of women are also having children in their late 20s and 30s.

"The US Census Bureau found that the median age for marriage in 2022 was 28.6 years old for women and 30.5 years old for men. LGBTQ+ couples were not accounted for in this survey."

My dad, a WWII vet, was 33 when he married my mom who was 29. I was born 9 months later in Jan 1954. And my sister was born in March 1957 when my dad was 36 and my mom was 32.

So you are still well within the margin of average. You are certainly not too old.
Don't give up.

HighValue · Answer

What were you doing in your 20s?

If you aren't fat, don't have a bunch of tattoos, and weren't a party person with drugs and alcohol, it should have been pretty easy to find a good man.

It is very common now for many women to not have kids by your age and it is also becoming more common for them to never get to have kids their whole lives because of the life decisions they made that permanently disqualify them from a good partner.

If you don't have a past of promiscuity, are in decent shape, without tattoos and would be fair to a man in a relationship, use a dating site for serious people like eharmony and explicitly state that you don't have those bad qualities I listed and that you agree with prenuptial agreements and I'd bet you would quickly find someone decent. Put in effort now though because regardless of the bad advice many women will give you, being past 30 does greatly decrease your options, especially for men that want to create/raise a family.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Is it normal? These days- sadly yes. Younger Millennials are in a bit of an odd spot- where we grew up seeing generally healthy marriages and had it ingrained in our brains. But these days it’s a very different world.

The why is a lot easier than the how though. Most spaces people used to meet don’t really exist anymore. Dating apps are garbage and social norms are kinda fubar. A plurality of men under 40 probably won’t approach and the ones that do, are probably good at it for a reason.

You could try some of the more niche apps and programs, like Meetup Groups. Singles groups tend to attract more women than men, but it could help you make some friends at the very least. Everyone says church, but I’ve found that to be a very weird place to try to meet people. Making friends and having them introduce you to their brothers or whatnot is probably one of the better options, but if it doesn’t go anywhere, it limits your possible options with the rest of the group.

Massageman · Answer

You are asking two separate questions. Normal age to do this or that? Normal is an arbitrary word, lately. Even the "norm" is becoming less of a stock stat. Less people are having traditional marriages, and those that do are marrying later in life.

Where are those guys, though? Hardware stores getting parts to fix their home, at church volunteer nights to show they are willing to help others, at food stores picking out the best deals to support their family on strained budgets.

SotiCoto · Answer

Ah great... another "is it normal" question, which is just the same as an "is it weird" question but flipped around. It is frankly absurd that you people are so obsessed with normality, as opposed to anything actually important.

And it is totally normal now. More and more people are living and dying alone all the time because the modern commercialisation of the Internet and dating, combined with the artificial convenience of modern phones, has vastly increased the frequency of human encounters while vastly decreasing the personal investment in any of them, thus effectively cheapening all human interaction to Papiermark level.

As to where you find good men... in their homes. Or rather they are in their homes, but it isn't like you can find them there, as that is generally illegal.

TycheKairos · Answer

I don't think it's right to get married before the age of 30. People need to grow, learn, develop and be able to stand on their own feet. The world is now in this state of carcass because of the reproduction of unskilled people. Everyone thinks their progeny is gold. No, it is just a virus that multiplies by dividing, it is necessary to be able to understand this. And what we need to do is try to fix this world and society that has turned into shit and our lives.

molonski2 · Answer

Very common now..

I was married at 28 which was kind of late then , I have 2 daughter , one about to be 35 years old , one about to be 32 , neither is married ( one living together ) , neither had a child , and as my daughter said " Dont hold your breathe Dad " , and I can completely understand that , the times are very different.

I dont like the word " Normal " = what does it mean , nothing is Normal , very common with your age group , absolutely.

Anonymous · Answer

I am very unlucky too when it comes to dating. Most just pursue me for my body or my looks. I feel that average girls get guys and settle down faster than pretty ones. I come under the pretty category and for the first time in my life I wish I wasn't pretty, I really do wish I wasn't. I turned 25 recently and I've seen my friends getting married while me on the other side I'm unable to get a good guy. Looks has never been something that I ever wanted, I want a guy who is honest, and loyal to me. But I'm unable to find such a guy.

electromagnetic · Answer

Everyone finds their own path and time for marriage and kids. For some, that’s also far moved and nothing they are interested in. It’s true that it’s not a race. I got married quite young and I don’t regret that but it’s not for everyone.
Find your own pace and don’t even feel like you have to rush.

menina · Answer

Yes, it is normal. There is not a right or a wrong age to get married (as long as you're an adult of course).

Nowadays, in western countries many people are choosing to not get married or to get married later in life. So, it's not unusual.

Just take your time and the right man will show up when you least expect.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I think it is. I've seen a few people who are single in their 30s on here, some even virgins too. I think everyone is just too focused on what society considers normal. I mean, I'm almost 25 and I've never been on a date in my life yet, but I'm still waiting for my future partner regardless. Only thing that's annoying is the people who ask you questions and stuff about it.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

the best partner you will find when you font look for them... focus on yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, things you want to learn or experience...

focus on getting to know people, not on selecting the partner... just get to know them... learn about what they like and dislike, create friendships and memories. And one day you will discover that one guy...

Account · Answer

Yes.

I have never wanted to get married.
It is just not for me.

If you want to get married and you haven't already, well there is still time.
There is no need to rush till you find the right person for you and even if you won't end up finding them, then honestly what is the worst thing that can happen?

bobalife · Answer

Agreed with @summeroflove, it’s better to be single than be with the wrong person in relationships and marriage with kids. But yes, it’s very normal to be single by 30. We all have our own journey and time to find the right person.

Zbrody1997 · Answer

thanks to feminists unfortunately yes because they have lied and led women to suffer out of their sexual and reproductive prime. At age 30 you lose 95% of your fertility or maybe it was your egg production slows down that much and it slows to 97% in your 40’s

RingOfFire · Answer

It's very common. Lots of people don't meet their true love until their 30s or later. And in the Internet age its even harder because people don't socialize as much in person as they used to when I was that age. Don't panic... just enjoy life and sooner or later you'll make that connection.

SunnyRS · Answer

Normal is overrated.
Plenty of people are married when they are around or over 30 but that doesn't mean that it is the only way of life.
If you are single now it's not wrong, and if you are looking for love, try branching out so the things you like and maybe through that you would find someone with similar interests.

Anonymous · Answer

No its not normal, As for the question of where you find "Good men".
"Good" men become are whatever men are available to YOU. If you haven't found one available to you individually after looking for more than a few years (or 30% of the time you have available to search).

Your not likely to find anyone better than what you have found. Just go with the most suitable of that list.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I believe that women should be married before turning 30 but life these days is harsh and we can't judge people...

Also it's better to wait till you find the one, it's not like hey let's go get married, anyone can get married but only a few lasts forever!

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I don't know about "normal," but it's definitely not uncommon, these days. Heck, I always thought I would be married with a couple kids by now. Here I am, single as a moldy Pringle.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

These days, yes. Don’t feel ashamed because you didn’t have the financial cushion your parents did in the 1980’s when $7.25 was a much higher minimum wage and you could actually build a life off of it.

PreferNot2Say · Answer

They're probably in your pool of "backups" that you try to convince everyone are just friends. Women do this shit too themselves with the games they play. Then try to act as though they are the victims.

patois · Answer

It's becoming more common. That's not a great sign for civilization, but those are the times I suppose.

Asb_Samson · Answer

Yes it's normal and totally a personal decision of everyone. We have one of our colleague she gave birth to her first child in age of 45 Years. They are happy living and have nice family.

on_my_knees · Answer

What's your definition of a good man? Somebody who wants to get married and have children? Sounds like you need to take a trip to the sperm bank, then.

tfan1 · Answer

I’d say it’s normal. My wife and I didn’t get married till I was 30 and she was 29. 2/28/2008. Also we gave each other our virginity’s on our wedding night. We had our son now 11 years old in 2012 👍🙂

VV3ZZY123 · Answer

Same, but with women. I feel like a lot of my friends had so much more luck than me. But I'm very reserved and I dont put up with abuse, so I had to learn to enjoy being single. I got off all dating apps. They're creepy AF lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Bad luck. Poor choices. Life happens. There isn't a handbook to living. Nobody gets points. There is no expiration date until it happens. if you aren't happy with where you are, make changes. Start with small things by working on self. Take a class.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

It's become normal, just look at me right here. Age and avatar don't lie - I'm 30 lol and single and never married never any offspring either 😋👋🏻 and counting

genericname85 · Answer

it used to be but it becomes more and more "normal" for people to have their first child when they're above 30. specially for people in higher education.

LazerBean · Answer

It has become increasingly common, in the US at least. College has pushed back the average age at which people do normal adult things.

onedarkcloud · Answer

Marriage is not on a schedule it does not have to be done by a certain age.. Some people can marry at 18 and others at fifty, it is when you're comfortable with the idea being attached to someone 24 /7, When you are ready then you're ready

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Absolutely. Get your life in order before starting a family. It is the best thing you could ever do for your child (ern).

DJB72 · Answer

I was almost 32 before I was married and we only had our son 5 years ago when I was 46. Don't stress.

Fireguy17 · Answer

now yes, there are many people that chose to get married and start having a family later in life. My niece was I think 33 when she had her son.

strateguy632 · Answer

it is rare and not depend on luck it depends on commitment and compromises.

Sharkstealth · Answer

It's likely you have already ignored them because nobody is perfect. I'm sure even the ones you call the good men are still not good enough for you.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

You're probably just a late bloomer.  Besides, 30 is still young.

ManInChains · Answer

Didn’t Seinfeld not get married until he was in his 40s?

Nikki1989 · Answer

No children, common these days.  No marriage, not so much.

rosemilk · Answer

yes that's normal as for dating, it's harder post pandemic for any age

exitseven · Answer

People seem to be waiting longer to get married. It is not unusual to see people in their 40s and older getting married for the first time.

perpetualsadnessss · Answer

Completely normal. I think stereotypes and traditions like that are dying.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

its super normal in today's world. less stressed and broke

written_in-the-stars · Answer

Well u certainly dont find them in gag. I always met my partners through some connection.  friends with benefits on internet, yes that happened a lot.

DreamLife7 · Answer

What do you mean ,"where do you find good men?" Good men are everywhere. If they aren't approaching you sorry to burst your bubble that means you're ugly

slatyb · Answer

Yes, it's normal. What do you want, and what are you doing to make it happen?

jahaims · Answer

Luck is what dumb people call statistics. If you have been looking for that long and found no one, your options aren't the problem.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"Were do you find good men"? You are surrounded by good men but they are invisible to you. As for not being married, you met your husband in your 20's but you curbed him.

Is it normal not to be married or have children by the age of 30?

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