Is 35 too old to start having children?

Question

I’m back in school in my mid to late 20s and I’m set on getting my masters. Now I’ve been thinking that to accomplish my goals I’d have to push back certain “milestones”. I’ve set 35 as a “benchmark”. Also I’m a very late bloomer in terms of dating and haven’t really done any tbh thus potentially postponing even further starting a family. Anyone have any experience with this?

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

For most couples, there is an ideal age range for having children. First, how many children do you want to have? If you want two or more children, that means that your financial obligations will be stretched out over a longer period of time. Maybe you have the idea of retiring at age 55 and spending time on the beach in Tahiti but that won’t happen if you are 55 and your youngest child is still a junior in high school.

Second, how far apart do you want to have your children? Some people feel that a three year gap between kids is the absolute worst possibility; the kids are far enough apart that the older one does not want to hang out with the younger one while the younger one wants to tag along whenever the older one does anything. Have kids one or two years apart and you may have two or even three kids in college at the same time; what a burden! Have kids further apart and you will be even older when the last one is finally independent. There is no ideal solution to this question!

Third, you need to be old enough to handle the responsibilities of being a parent. Getting up with a fussy baby at 1 AM and again at 3 AM and again at 4 AM can drive you crazy. Do you have the patience to handle that? Most people develop that patience as they age. Many have that patience when they are quite young but some don’t develop it until they are almost 30 and some never develop the patience necessary for raising children.

Fourth, think about the age issue from your child’s perspective. Suppose you want to wait and have your first child at age 35. You will be close to 60 by the time that child completes college. If you have more than one child, you may be close to 70 when that child finishes college. How does that comport with your plans for soaking up the sun on the beach in Tahiti? More importantly, how will your child feel about having a parent who is so much older that their friends’ parents? As kids get older and get rebellious, they sometimes act embarrassed about being around their parents; how do you think that works when mom is 68 and dad is 71? Or even worse, what if you don’t live that long and your child is only 17 when they suddenly don’t have a mother? Of course you don't want to consider the prospect that you will ever die but, if you are considering having children, you need to have the maturity to contemplate such somber topics.

So, for example, if you want three children spaced 2 years apart, you want to be finished with your primary financial obligations to your children by age 55, and you want to be married for at least 2 years before you have children, then you should be married by age 24 (first child at 26, third child at age 30, third child reaches age 25 when you are 55 years old.) Aren't these numbers scary? Being finished at age 55 is probably unrealistic and learning to live with all of these considerations requires some ability to compromise.

Reaperbot666 · Accepted Answer

for men if their in good health. they can father children from puberty until they die. ideal age for many woman to have children is 18-30 is their in good health. and 30-40 if their in decent health. some can have children 40+ but there are more health risks for both mother and child. but the older a woman gets the harder it can be. to naturally become pregnant and naturally give birth. even if their in good health might still need medical help for one or both.

LeoPride93 · Accepted Answer

There's absolutely nothing wrong with waiting, unless you truly want kids more than you want your masters. Times have changed though, and you don't have to get married and start a family right away. Most couples nowadays are waiting until their thirties to have children anyway.

I'm 27 and single. I've dated my fair share of men; heck, just three months ago I was engaged. I loved him very much (still do), but I knew deep in my heart I wasn't ready to get married and start a family (he wanted to right away). I know I still have a lot of living to do before I settle down.

Moral of the story, follow your heart and do whatever sets your soul on fire!

Niharika13 · Accepted Answer

It's okay to have children at 35..
But it depend on your partner and u. That how healthy or mentally stromh u are to raise your children.. U must be settled in your carreer so that you can raise your children well.. Other wise it become a problem for children to have a bright future as they have to suffer because of their parents..
Nd i think the best age is after 25..
Before it some girls are still copong with their careen their life.. So how it is possible to give birth to a child and parenting them.. So it's difficult raising children.. 😊

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Having kids after 30 is risky too- the majority of cerebral palsy and other birth defects happen to parents over 30.. Our bodies are designed to procreate best from puberty to about 28 years old. Sure, we're still fertile after that, but no longer prime.

With all the chemicals and toxins in our environment, your child is far more susceptible to defects outside the prime. Having kids over 30 is selfish and a burden to society. The autism rate today is 1 in 88 kids. MUCH higher if you are over 30.

destrosio · Answer

It depends on your gender. If you are a man, no. I know numerous men who had their first child even after 45.

If you are a woman there are numerous problems. Fertility begins to drop seriously after age 35*. If a 25-year-old woman has a 25% chance of getting pregnant naturally, a 30-year-old woman has a 20% chance of getting pregnant naturally, a 35-year-old woman has a 15% chance of getting pregnant naturally and a 40-year-old woman 5%. The collapse is evident after the age of 37. Furthermore, after the age of 35, the risks of chromosomal problems are higher due to the lower quality of the oocytes. This means that the risks of miscarriage or an abnormal pregnancy are higher. How is the likelihood of having children with Down syndrome higher.

nelly83 · Answer

Most people nowadays have kids in their 30s. Only losers have kids in their 20s. Most of these 27 yr old baby poppers tend to be less educated and have way less money to raise their children. But I suggest you watch out about being single until you’re 40. Because there will be less chance of you getting married as you get older. All your peers are married. Your dating pool will grow significantly smaller. You will have less friends too. Someone 10 years younger might not be willing to take you on due to your old age

BeMuse · Answer

Not for men. I have an uncle that got married at 40 and they had several kids together. He raised all of them and put them through college and they are all adults now. He’s retired now with his wife and they were traveling all over the place together with no work and no kids to worry about until covid hit.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah not for a guy. If this was a womans question I would have said yes. I have two kids and trust me i could not imagine doing all the stuff I do now with my kids if I was 30+. It is very physically demanding to give birth, breastfeed and keep with them when they're crazy hyper

btbc92 · Answer

No. Everybody is different. Most 35 year old can have children. But it may be difficult for any man or woman depending on how healthy the couple are. But the older you get, the more difficult it is not only for you to have children, but to raise them.

modelUN242 · Answer

Yes it is, peak fertility is 18-25. With 35, there is a lower chance to get pregnant but it's still possible. Plus you don't have much energy to deal with screaming and running kids. I think for guys they can have children older, since they don't get menopause like women do when they hit 40-50. I think 35 is fine for you since you're getting your masters, higher education. It becomes a problem if you wasted your 20s, but in this case you're not, good for you.

Saville_Row · Answer

Definitely no. And even less for men. For instance, you will have something to offer to your children (as in a better life than you, values and maturity to teach them, etc).

Also, I have heard that people who marry after 25-30 have less chance of getting a divorce. And looking for all the unhappy, single/divorced women and men by 40 with kids, I would say that is right.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

I’m 39 and I just spoke to an older friend who had his first kid at 47. This question haunts me too.

His advice is don’t have a kid unless you know she will be a good mother. Also not to feel shame for being a bachelor.

I am looking for a decent woman. But I’m prepared either way to what my future may bring. But yet I want a wife and kid (s). However if God (yes God) feels that’s not in my future I’ll accept that.

chapawapa · Answer

For men I think it's going to be your preference on the age.

For women yes, unless you're healthy have a a great team... Maybe

But everyone has their own choice with their body.

I have my masters and yes it pushes back a lot. No way can I have a kid right now with my career and really not committed to anyone... im 31... So 🤷🏽‍♀️

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I was a 35yr old virgin. I had all but given up on the idea of ever having kids, had mentally set a bar at 42 (60 by time they are an adult). To me any later didn't seem fair.
I now have a 8 month old son who i adore (father at 37yr old). It's tough, i think physically 10yrs ago i woupd have coped better with lack of sleep, but my son is happy and healthy, has everything he needs.

jshm2 · Answer

As a guy, no. But you're going to struggle if you date/marry a woman of similar age as female fertility starts dropping around 35.

Maybe make this one of the topics to discuss with your potential partner.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

No I think that’s a good age. My sister just had her second child and she’s 39

ghostqueen · Answer

50+ year olds do it all the time. Having kids later seems more common and less difficult for men, so you should be fine.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

For women, there’s more anxiety of their biological clock ticking as well. So, for a man it’s okay. A woman not so much. But some are lucky.

silvermoon84 · Answer

For women, it becomes harder (not impossible though) for us to have kids but for men it’s fine.

DizzyDesii · Answer

In my opinion yes. But people will do as they please. I think 24-30 is the best age to have kids

pigoat · Answer

People answering like you're a bitch You're a dude it's never too late Though being anonymous you could be a bitch

jennifer_bloom · Answer

You can always get a surrogate - there is always a poor girl who wants easy money

MissDawn7961 · Answer

no it is not as long as you have your reproductive system intact in you ! thanks

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Im 33 and no kids yet. Im still figuring out dating in some ways although I'm not behind the curve there. Lol. Id start dating now. Its so hard to find anyone worth being serious with.

yamajazaki · Answer

No, my moms cousin had her daughter last year at 35

Amxnnii · Answer

35 isn’t too old. If you’ve gotten to an age like 65 and you want to have kids all I would say is to be careful because there are some health risks with having kids that’s old

callmecal24 · Answer

As long as you can love and support and child no it's not.

jasco · Answer

no most women prefer a older dude anyway however a older women ehh not so much for the dudes

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Too old? I think 35 is just the average people get kids

Liam_Hayden · Answer

My dad was in his mid 50's and my mom was almost 45 when their only child was born.

Ciel66 · Answer

Do whatever shit you want, who knows who will live tomorrow 🤕

asshole_ · Answer

no but you're not getting younger, too

Anonymous · Answer

not if you're a Man. If you're a Woman I would say its pretty much over

Anonymous · Answer

Find a pretty young girl to have a family with. that will give you a better chance of avoiding birth defects and complications

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, 15 is a good age. You see with female empowerment and contraception teen pregnancies have not stopped. Nature finds its way.

DaddyFapper · Answer

Absolutely not! Do it when you feel ready

TonyV · Answer

Should be fine. That's kind of my goal

Daniela1982 · Answer

I fucking hope not of I am in big fucking trouble.

SeanshterMonster · Answer

Its dangerous. But not too old

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

never too old... if it be God's will

kaymacd · Answer

fuck what society thinks, do what makes you happy

F1nski · Answer

That's the age when testosterone starts to drop

Cryptic-Game · Answer

Not for men. It may be for some women.

Anonymous · Answer

Not really, I had mine at 33 and was fine

slatyb · Answer

Not at all.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Nope

Lifelife · Answer

forget it ill say

_DARKNESS_ · Answer

Not too old at all

Anonymous · Answer

For men of course.

Is 35 too old to start having children?

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