If you are not married by 30, is that bad?

Question

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

By 30 women find themselves in a precarious position. Often the high value males you want for your mate will have fun with you and use you for sex/short term relationship (at best 5 years) but ultimately will opt to settle down for a girl in her 20's when they want to get married/actual commit. Some of these high value men may marry you but you have to be exceptional yourself for that to happen.

For the men who have been overlooked in their 20's and gotten little to no date dates, many of them will be inexperience with sex and relationship and you might find them unsatisfactory; though on plus side they are more willing to commit to you and be faithful. Some of these leftover men though may have a chip on their shoulder of only being given attention by women once they beauty/attractiveness in the dating game is waning and opt to do the same thing as high status males when it comes to sex and relationship.

By 40 and 50's years old, a woman often will have to start even compromising more and consider dating men who are divorced and/or have kids from other women.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

No not at all.
By then you are more settled, usually have a career so you know what you want and won't settle for less.
It seems that many people that get married at a young age end up divorced in a couple of years, many with children.
I got married at 21 and had no clue, and divorced in less than a year, no kids.
Don't be in a rush, go out see the world, do things that you will have trouble doing when you are married with children.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

So according to gag incels we should not be shallow. The commentsection makes me sick. We should only choose men with great personality and dont care whether they are manlet, broke, fugly, fat etc or not but they are entitled to date young, pretty, skinny virgin women? If you want women to not be shallow, then dont be shallow yourself. Plus there are more tall men than young women. Dont explain your bs with biology. If biology or your nature makes you want fertile young virgin pretty woman, so makes us our 'nature' want tall, wealthy aka strong men by this retarded logic. So if women over 30s are leftovers, so are short, fat, broke, ugly men by the same retarded logic of these gag incels.

You can't have your cake, eat it too

Harleigh90 · Accepted Answer

No, age doesn't really take play in marriage. Never seen marriage as that important, its only in the last few months have i really thought about it, the meaning of it to me has changed too, used to believe it was a piece of paper, people spend far to much money. But recently realised its deeper then that, money is the objective of marriage its about sealing that love and commitment to a balanced life.
Being over 30 I do have the dwelling fear of never starting a family, having rumination thoughts for a few years. Suppose the family side plays an age part, but not marriage.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It is better to be 30 and never married than to be 30 and divorced. Not everyone is ready for marriage when they are young and comparing yourself to other people is counterproductive; you can’t force yourself to be just like everyone else. When you are ready for marriage, you will find someone and it will happen.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

No. One of the happiest marriages I know is between two people, one of which was 32 and the other which was a little older (not sure by exactly how much) when they first married. I know several also who have remarried in their 40's, 50's, and even 60's who are very happy. Life is not a race and there is no set age you need to accomplish certain milestones by.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Depends on the person’s vision of their future.

By society’s traditional standards? Yes, worse for women than men.
People have to remember modern society isn’t the same as It used to be were the man worked and the woman stayed home to tend to the kids and the home. Today? In order to have that, the salary of the man would have to be high to sustain a home happily.

Men and Women are now going off to college, having jobs , careers; so how the hell you graduate college at 22, work and grind your way to the top of your job or career and find a decent partner to be married within 8 years? Shiiit some people can do it but it’s easier said than done.

People are now realizing dating isn’t easy , finding a good man / woman that fits your plans for the future is challenging, maintaining a happy and healthy relationship/ marriage is hard work. Now add all that plus trying to bust your ass in grad school/ careers/ jobs too. You are not always gonna hit the target goal and that’s perfectly fine.

People deserve to be accomplished in their goals and life paths before making a big decision like that.

zyxacb · Answer

Girls never said to me, "of you're shy, a nice guy, let me give you a attention, and a chance because, logically, you deserve one"... I had to deal with the unpleasant harsh truths of reality. Women growing old, and beyond their desirability, as I meet far more interested in casual sex in their 20s, than obsessed with developing morals, virtues, and character to be the ideal wife & planning for their future post-ageing, but instead taking advantage of genetic handouts in favor of short-term gratification, thus building their own future reality, making their lack of desirability once they have little left to offer their creation, not a victimization by fate...

It's your responsibility to forego hedonistic pleasures & develop yourself if you want to be desirable in the future... I disciplined my eating because I never had a "young" metabolism, can many I went to school with complain when they grow fat, and are unable to manage their weight, because they took a free ride, rather than develop skills to control their destiny? My results are my responsibility.

Anonymous · Answer

***before i make my comment, i just wanna state that i believe there are still great men out there who are wonderful humans. i don't generalize people, which is why i am going to say that ****SOME men are shitty, not all. women aren't perfect either, but in today's superficial fucked up world, finding a good person who truly loves you and will always be faithful to you and by your side is like winning the lottery.

it depends on your own personal goals. as a woman, bio clock is real but you could choose to be a single mother by choice if you have a good support network and are financially stable. you don't need to wait around for a man to determine your life, future, and whether you can be a mother. lots of children grow up perfectly healthy and happy in a single parent home. of course, that may not be ideal, but it is preferable to waiting till 40 to find "the one" and never having children. at least for me, since having children is one of the most important things for me. if i am not married by 31, i'll probably go to a sperm bank. if a good man comes along, great, if not, i don't care. i have a high paying job and can fully support my future babies. the good quality men these days are dwindling rapidly, even though many of them like to believe they are "high value," lol. better to be a single mother than to get with a man who is more work and more stress than a baby.

usually when a man has to go around telling the world he is "high value," he either has a tiny pickle, a lackluster personality, a bad job, or all of the above. if some men continue to be assholes (just take a look at some of their comments below), we may have a future where more and more women will choose to be single mothers by choice and those men can just marry each other because they are so "high value".

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

Marriage isn't a big deal for me. Mind you, I have an ex-husband, but I never believed in marriage, only getting married to him because of legal, immigration reasons. We were together for 6 years before we got married, were married a year, separated for another & finally divorced.
I was happy just being together, in our civil union, but we tied the knot & then it fell apart.
I have several theories as to why we fell apart, mostly cultural reasons on his part that he didn't like that I wouldn't conform to.
But marriage should NOT be an end goal, live your life in the moment & enjoy what you have today, as tomorrow isn't promised.

TransAm85 · Answer

I got married when I was 27 and I think I should have waited bc I didn't know my now husband completely. I was in a rush bc I had gotten pregnant, which turned into a miscarriage, yet we still had major good sex. Whatever you do, make sure he's not much older than you bc men lose their libido after 40, unless udc about that.

PlaticXrealityx · Answer

I belong to a more traditional culture and nowadays most women are getting married in their late 20's / early 30's compared to my mom's generation which was late teens / early 20's. Most women are getting an education, traveling, making sure thet have a steady job before they settle down. Some even make sure to have saved up some money so they can buy a home together with their partners. And everyone is having kids. So no, I don't think it's bad. All the divorced people I know, or the ones stuck in bad marriages got married before 25.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

There are worse fates. Try having a genetic predisposition of being extremely hernia-prone, and trying to find a job you qualify for that isn't going to doom you to a life of endless surgeries. Add in a life of constant disruption and freak accidents. Throw on top your truest loves dying or being ripped away. Losing almost everything to the current crop of political insanity going on, having to start over with a broken body and mind, and try to find a date that wants anything to do with you, knowing that you have a black cat stalking your life path.
Then, try weeding out the gold diggers. Some are so shameless and bottom-feeding, they'll hover over you like a vulture, to pick away at whatever goods they can hope to snatch, not even waiting for you to be dead first.

SmokyOne · Answer

Damn there're a lot of idiots in this comment section 🙄

I'd say no it's not bad necessarily however that's kinda dependent on what you're looking for out of a marriage.
If it's a life partner then any age is fine.
If you're looking to start a family I'd suggest starting a couple years sooner to account for finding the right one, engagement time, etc
Guys in their 30s likely have a kid from a previous relationship so that's something to think on as well
Not trying trying to be a downer just keep in mind that the older people get the more baggage they tend to pick up. Just be prepared is all. I don't think of anyone as leftover or whatever people were saying, and I don't really agree with putting value on people like they're cattle

I had my comment thought out in a more articulate way but the comments were pretty disgusting and threw me off my train of thought

OpenClose · Answer

I can't say myself. I'll probably lurk this topic.

I turned 30 recently and it's super freaky to do so while single. I feel like everyone got snatched up and married in their 20's like some party I wasn't invited to.

After college, I just put more emphasis on putting my life together which had me focusing more inward on building up my career and home, and not outward on building a new circle of friends and meeting new people. So my home life is doing pretty damned well, but my social life has taken a hit.

Anonymous · Answer

No, but realistically your options will be more limited the older you get. Also if you want children you, being pregnant after age 35 makes certain complications more likely, including premature birth, birth defects and getting pregnant with multiples. If you're older than 35, you may want to have prenatal screening tests to see if your baby is at risk for certain birth defects. You can have a healthy baby after 35, It is just more likely for an older mother to have these problems than it is for a younger mother. You can also always freeze your eggs.

Williams28Jao · Answer

Well it’s a weird thing to be honest for example in history wayyyy back in the day it was legal for 14 year olds to be married. Not joking. Back in the 1950s people were marrying around 23s to and up. However society has really changed that perspective on marriage. People are marrying later now. I think it’s a mix of a lot of things. Society, influencing, political, internet, technology, gossip, movements… many of these things will change a persons perspective on anything. And with an increase of people being more involved with the internet and with themselves trying to be seen by the world. The last thing that someone wants is marriage. You know how many women I’ve tried to talk to and all they want to do is just travel everywhere? I’m like well I’m looking to settle down. But they want to go everywhere and do everything and believe it or not having kids isn’t something they want either. I’ll be 30 this year and never married. I’m not losing hope though

Juan_Sheet · Answer

I hope not, as I got married at 35. Currently married for 15 years with 2 kids. It works great as a relationship as I knew I was a man in every sense. No playing. In the relationship for specific reasons. Companionship and to have children.

We don't argue and have a very relaxed atmosphere in the house. At our ages, we have nothing to prove to anyone.

theclovergirl · Answer

No that isn’t bad. How could this be bad? Society wants us to believe that not being wed and having kids by 30 is a crime! So dumb, don’t you think? It might be calming or you may find life starts with marriage and children, but that doesn’t guarantee stability always. Certainly freedom can be dangerous and being single for awhile might lead to lonely nights, sadness and social anxiety… but it can also mean you are secure with yourself, you put yourself first, you don’t need to worry about much really, you basically are living the life! Being intelligent in my honest humble opinion. Because let’s face it who wants to be tied down forever like that? It’s really stupid if you think about it!!

Moose304 · Answer

It's neither. I don't advise marriage for a male until he is at least 30 and for a female to at least get finished with getting her education. It's been my experience after watching many couples that the relationships that last are the ones where both were a bit older and had some experiences in life. This does not mean that marriage as teens or early 20somethings is bad, I mean they implode easier. The one danger with being a 30-something is watch out for that "first" love! The biggest majority of the time, if that first love subsequently to the marriage becomes available, that marriage is in serious trouble!

Seinna · Answer

If you want to get married then for women it's best to do it before 30 and for men before 35 to give both of you at least 5 years to have children with relatively low risk.

It's not the end of the world though and some people stay together but never marry. Definitely don't give up on it if it's something that you want, you still have time. You should definitely look into building a serious relationship with someone though.

molonski2 · Answer

In a word NO , its smart , if I had my time over there is simply NO WAY I would be 30 and married , my daughter is 31 and not married , Im happy for her , my other daughter is 28 , and there is also absolutely no way she will be married at 30 .

Never , ever set an age limit ( thats what I did , I set one ) worst decision I ever made and the most stressful years of my life , thank god I dont have to worry about that now.

ITS A GREAT THING !

its_amelia_c · Answer

You get married once you find someone you feel you can spend the rest of your life with. That one person that you feel you can’t be without, that lights a fire in your belly so bright you need them in your life or it just wouldn’t be the same.

You don’t marry someone because time is running out, you’ve reached a certain age, because you feel pressure, that it’s expected, etc.

Do you! Don’t do anything but you! There is no expectations! It is after all a lifetime commitment!

Anonymous · Answer

Being older I feel like I can look back and make some observations. First of all it's only bad if you really want to be married. Since guys aren't as focused on marriage in their youth as women I'd say a woman has just as good of chance as getting married at 30 as 18. The question is how does she approach it. Most 18 year old women tend to be cleaner slates then 30 year old women. Generally as a women ages she becomes less bondible with guys because with every failed relationship she grows more bitter.
I guess what I'm saying is women sabotage themselves in this dept.

Conversely I advise guys that if they haven't been married by 25. Don't rush it! The best partners are generally married off by 25. I'm not saying there aren't any good women over 25. But I guy should take all the time in the world vetting her. Because as we all know choosing the wrong wife could ruin his life.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a bad thing, but it does become more difficult to find a mate as you get older. I don't mean to sound sexist, but that is especially true for women simply due to the fact that the things men value in a woman are different than the ones women value in a man. The things that make a man valuable in a man tend to increase with age (to a degree) while the things men vale in women tend to decrease with age. There are of course lots of exceptions.

But it is also true that people in general are getting married later in life now.

Kaamraj · Answer

Not for a man, because he's just nearing his socioeconomic prime, so he's in a better position to negotiate a better deal. Genrally speaking time doesn't favor women as by age 30 a woman is past the age where men (irrespective of age) find women the most attractive (early 20s), on top of that her fertility window is beginning to close.

CoffeeBeanBlack · Answer

It's an arbitrary number related to an outdated social expectation. I certainly wanted to be married by 30. But im 28 almost 28.5 and it doesn't seem like it'll happen by then. You have the benefit of not rushing into marriage and choosing a partner (s) that you CAN work with long term.

RosalinaH · Answer

You can get laid and have kids at whatever age you want... There is so much technology available right now... all these old celebrity women are getting married late and still having babies. Don't listen to those assholes who tell you you are doomed after a certain age...

Anonymous · Answer

not married, not bad. Not in a serious relationship, a little bad
dating not so bad
single so so

should start dating and checking who is ideal candidate for serious relationship not so much marriage just someone to be with seriously.

30 is still early.
make sure you find someone by 33 - 35

after 35 being single is not bad, it's just a little sad...

notwoke · Answer

if your a man it means you dodged the bullet. You didn't get so drunk on pussy that you signed up for a life of financial servitude and minimal sex. If you stay single you can life abundantly and retire early if you work hard as well as escaping 75% of adult headaches

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Generally you have less men to choose from and less demand at 30 because many of the hotter, more successful, socially skilled men go for younger women. Im 35 and my girlfriend is 19. I personally wouldn't dream of dating a 30 yr old seriously, id rather be single. That would feel like a failure to me on a moral level.

DWornock · Answer

That is not good because by age 30 people are set in their ways and are less adaptable. That is even more so for women since they are not as fertile, have less energy and stamina to care for babies, and because their value is much lower than when they were in their late teens and early 20s.

Anonymous · Answer

There’s no rule or law that says you have to be married by a certain age. My mother married in her 20’s and was stuck with a horrible abusive man for years before she managed to get away. She’s now in her 40’s and has found her soulmate and re-married. Moral of the story — don’t get married until you’re absolutely certain you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. You don’t have to get married at all.

godfatherfan · Answer

Not at all. I was engaged at 20 and married at 25. She was 17 when we got engaged and 22 when we got married. Had we been older, I doubt we would have married. But if we did, I think it would have had a better chance to last.

mysfit · Answer

Not at all. You are wiser though. All fun things happen in your 30’s. Stable job, savings and stuff. And the right person will just come along.

lilyanony1 · Answer

No I would say its actually quite normal.

These days anyways, just focus on what you can control which is: diet, fitness, hobbies, the choice of friends you keep, clothes, your outlook on life.

This kind of things...

willyppah · Answer

Briefly speaking marriage is about being together life long with the perfect person for you. Age is just a number, what’s mostly important is that your spouse should be the type of person with whom you live in harmony under any circumstances.

n4meAL · Answer

I don't know my mind changes all the time, sometimes I want to live like a teenager to old age, which is only a short term relationship that teenagers usually do, which is only about boyfriend or girlfriend, not about husband or wife or fiance.

juniorJack · Answer

Nah, age is just a number, get married or live with a partner the choice is yours, never feel pressured to get married..

Chlo3_2001 · Answer

Personally, I don't care for marriage. It's what you make of it. I never plan to have kids, and marriage, I can live with it either way.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Depends on you, if you wanted to be by now and aren't then its bad in your eyes.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

No. Marriage is not obligatory. You can have just as stable and long of a relationship without it.  It's not about a contract with god/gods, it's about commitment.

movielike · Answer

well here my thought ok im 56 years old most woman i meet who are younger than me want a serious realationbship or marrage or kidsits like time is running out so when im looking to meet a woman i get in that postion all the time so 30 is a middle number i say good luck for the woman looking for a man me il stay single

SaraSmithishere · Answer

Well, I live in Los Angeles and most women have kids here in their late 30’s and get married then too, so it’s normal

exitseven · Answer

Conventional wisdom says that a woman has a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married after they turn 30. This was even before Biden became president. It must be worse now.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Not bad at all. It isn't for everyone. Imagine how many unhappily married people are envious of you.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends. Are you in a career? Or academic? Then it's not unusual. But on your ass it shows you are not relationship material.

brezzybaby · Answer

Well I say not really. Cause I'm 26 and I want to be married but every man I have ever loved hasn't loved me back ! And my baby daddy and I were together for 11 years we were supposed to get married and then he called it off a dau before it

noless10in · Answer

Hell continue to party have fun worry about it a 40. You may think this is ridiculous but one day when you get married at 30 on your 40th birthday you're going to think about that guy's text or message I think damn that bastard was right.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No it's not. Various factors can be why a person isn't married or never been married.

Now, reaching your 40's and you never been married then your chance of being married significantly drops after 40.

1-3-2-4 · Answer

I know a woman who said she was glad she waited until she was 47 to get married otherwise she would of had a pretty rough time.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Its different for girls and different for boys. Please focus on the what girls say only.

Heartache0405 · Answer

I don’t plan on ever being married well past my 30s. I’ll consider it a life goal to make it past 30 without being in a relationship

sheikalana · Answer

not bad at all. is not written anywhere that u have to get married at a certain age. different people experience life at a different pace.

GrantArmstrong · Answer

I wasn't and neither was my wife. We are happy we got married when we did. It would have been great to find the right person sooner but it would have been awful to marry the wrong person.

Cherry234 · Answer

It's not. Some people don't even get married at all.

cookiecrusher · Answer

As a woman it is pretty bad yes.
Not the end though, if:

You get serious about it.

Pick better men.

Know you can't afford to be picky and focus on the important traits that matter not BS.

Don't have a crazy past.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

Yes it is if you don’t realize you want to be married until your 30 women can be as delusional as you want but dating in your 20s is much easier than in your 30s

Alphadude1982 · Answer

Yes it is!! You hit the wall at that age, women are more desirable between the ages of 18 and 23. It's biology. Women will go after their career first instead of having a family and that's where they fucked up.

goaded · Answer

Not really. It's about time to be looking for the first partner who's as good as any of your previous ones, though.

Losalt · Answer

Not really, the average age of marriage is higher than that in my country.

dustybiker · Answer

There is no manual. Only opinions. Live your own life.

DaveJord · Answer

Hell no, good for you marriage is the worst finical decision anyone could ever make.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes because at 30 your time for making more brats starts running out. And ultimately you end up depressed and miserable.

If you are not married by 30, is that bad?

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