How did you get through not contacting your ex?

[Anonymous]

How did you get through not contacting your ex in the first couple of days? It seems like an impossible task.

[Anonymous]

Distractions and perspective. You’re most likely to cave and go back when you lose sight of why the breakup happened in the first place. I don't know what the state of your relationship was like in the end, maybe it wasn’t even you who wanted to break up and that makes this even harder. But if it was his choice for things to end, then you have to respect it and use that as a reminder as well.

[Asker]

I have no distractions right now unfortunately because I'm not working. If I was working this would be way easier.

[Opinion Owner]

I get that. Back in 2020 my job closed due to Covid, and about a month after that I went through one of the worst breakups I ever had. It’s pure torture having to be stuck at home with little options as distractions, but for your own sake and sanity you’ve got to find a way. I’m a bit of a gamer, so I’d hang out in chat parties with friends or open lobbies. I set an audio book goal, because then when my mind was busy trying to listen rather than read, I didn’t think about him so much. I deleted any trace of him off social media, even mutuals just so I didn’t run the risk of seeing him tagged or in pics/videos/stories. I journaled a lot, cried a lot, went for walks in the morning and afternoon when the sun was out, it’s better for you. Trained my dog a little, learned how to do gel nails and designs. Basically any little thing I could think of.

[Asker]

I have deleted my FB so that I won't see his stuff anymore. It's just the not texting him that's so hard because he was my friend for so many years before we got together. I get it though. I need to move on but it's so hard. I know I need to build distractions and I will. I am going to start doordashing tomorrow and hope that takes my mind off him.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel for you so much, I really do. With my ex, we met our sophomore year of high school, lost contact until we turned 21, then stayed in touch as good friends until 27. Dated for 2 years, then started going downhill right before Covid. Nothing prepares you for that kinda loss, when it’s not even just the relationship but the friendship too. It hurts your heart, makes you physically sick, I know it all too well. All I can say is take it a day at a time. If you’re spiritual like me, pray about it and if not, write about it in a journal. This is a hard place you’re in and it won’t be easy, but it gets easier. Hopefully door dashing helps with distractions, you’ll need all you can get.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for sharing and understanding. I will definitely be praying about it and journaling and hopefully doordash helps me get through it.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem at all! You will get through it, because as life goes on we have no choice but to shift out of those painful moments. You’re going to meet new people, make new memories, this space won’t last forever. Hang in there and good luck🤍

[Asker]

Thanks! ❤️

[BTigers96]

I refused to give her the satisfaction. She broke up with me. :). At first it wasn't easy... but I'm stubborn that way.

When she finally did contact me 6 month later I was several women deep into my new single life. I wanted her to regret breaking up with me... and she eventually at least questioned her decision. Mission accomplished... lol.

[DrPepper12]

You need distractions and a buddy system. Enlist a close friend and tell them your plan. Treat it as if it was an addiction.

[Olivier-628]

If you love them, let them go.
Remember that. And yes. It is difficult.

[dudegreat91]

Mostly I try to get other girls into my bed to deal with it

[Asker]

I'm not like that though. I don't want to sleep with other guys to get over it.

[dudegreat91]

Yeah but you asked how do I get through. So told you what I do.

[Asker]

Oh ok. Sorry.

[missindiana93]

Keep yourself busy.

[Asker]

I'm not working right now so it's really hard right now.