Can you be good friends with an ex?

[Anonymous]

I think you can. I joked for the first time with him and it was a success. We just broke up and I know you're supposed to follow the no contact shit but I say fuck it. We were good friends way before we were ever together and I think we can be good friends now.

[Summeroflove]

It really just depends on the context of the breakup. If it’s something major like abuse, toxicity, cheating, etc. It’s probably best to limit contact with that someone as much as humanly possible. I refuse to be friends with anyone whose a cheater. Maybe a acquaintance, I can be nice to them but I’ll never trust them. I digress.

But there are plenty of breakups that just aren’t meant to be. Maybe both people romantically are looking for different things but they still have a lot of common internets as well as are good people. Sometimes people just simply are wanting different things. This can involve children, their standards, preferences, where they want to live, or maybe just at the end of the day they lost attraction.

However, if someone has poor self control they could get into the cycle of hooking up. Personally sex is better saved until after marriage. But if I say that on GAG people get extremely defensive because they have very poor self control.

[Asker]

I agree with all of this. Our breakup wasn't toxic or anything like that. It was almost amicable but at first I didn't want to but I've come around to accepting it and rather keep him as a friend than nothing at all.

[Summeroflove]

Asker absolutely sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. If he’s a genuinely good person and so are you keeping someone around as a friend can be a good thing.

Sure there are some people who can’t control themselves. Sure there are people who will try to interject what they think you should do. Well… sometimes what’s right for them isn’t right for you and vice versa.

Some people genuinely mean well others ehhhh.

[melnc]

It's a personal decision whether you choose to be friends with an ex or not. For me, there isn't a real motivation for wanting to be friends with my ex. shifting from being romantic partners to platonic friends is not in my vocabulary... no way.

Pretending that things are fine when they're not is a temporary fix. I'm not here to judge, but good luck ahead.

[Asker]

I will be honest. It's kind of awkward but we're trying to navigate through it because our friendship was always something special.

[melnc]

You're the one trying, not both of you. If both of you were working together, you wouldn't have been here in the first place to assess the situation and ask this question.

[Asker]

Touché.

[exitseven]

I know people have done this. I never could. There was always really hard feelings every time I broke up with somebody.

[Nikki1989]

I am good friends with all my exes except one. I talk to one of them most days of the week.

[LiamJHayden]

I've never had a bad breakup and am friendly with my exes. A few do hang out from time to time.

[dudeinohio]

No way. When you get into a new relationship, your partner may have issues. For me it is a deal-breaker.

[Jmmmfi4]

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T

[NOTHINGEVERHAPPENS]

No, not normally.

[jahaims]

Terrible idea