I've been chatting to a person I think is a man for 10 years online?

[Anonymous]

he never has sent me a face pic or any pic, I asked if I could speak to him on the phone and he has refused says he has a girlfriend but there was times he didn't have a girlfriend. I never thought anything of it as we would chat on some messenger then silence for a month or so and he would get back in touch again. Never anything romantic just day to day stuff and time passed and I was curious to see what he looked like, he's seen my pictures and due to some website I'm on he's seen a lot of me and on that website I'm his only friend.

Reason I'm asking is I was typing stuff yesterday and he started to type very familiar to my ex for example calling me a good girl, something my ex was calling me recently etc which he never did in the past and neither has this man.. I've deleted the messenger app and deleted my website profile.. I think I've been set up and catfished if not by my ex but by a friend of his. I've no way of proving it but when someone asks for a picture surely after 10 years he'd send 1 when asked?

Updates

1 y

I was getting suspious and asked for a picture and gave him my phone number to call, that's the girlfriend excuse, I was telling him about the ex and said want to see a pic of him, now most people would be curious ove who was annoying me for 10 years but he said nah your ok...

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah girl, this totally sounds sketchy as hell. No legit dude would go 10 YEARS without ever sending a pic or video chatting after talking that long. Major catfish red flags!

The way he suddenly started using pet names your ex did is way too coincidental. Seems like your intuition was right and this was some sneaky plot connected to your ex. Who knows how long he's really been messin' with you!

I'd be weirded out too if a "friend" didn't care to see what the ex looked like after all that drama. He's clearly hiding something big time. You dodged a bullet deleting that mess sis, good for you!

Don't even stress tryna prove anything - actions like his speak loud and clear. Dude had plenty chances to show his face if it was legit. Stay sharp out here and don't fall for any fool's games like that again. You deserve way better babe! His sorry ass ain't worth another thought. Just keep shinin' on without that creeper.

[Asker]

Even if he didn't want to chat I said WhatsApp me instead reply was didn't have it said he didn't have Facebook either and deleted it. Just all so weird. It was the good girl and enjoy at the end of the sentence that through me..

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's like super sketchy that he "didn't have" all those basic apps after 10 years of talking! Who doesn't have facebook, whatsapp, any way to video chat after all that time? It's obvious he was making up excuses cause he didn't want you to see what he actually looked like.

I definitely don't blame you for getting freaked out when he started using the same pet names as your ex too, that's way too specific to be a coincidence. He had to have been your ex pretending to be someone else, or working with your ex to mess with your head.

I'm kinda worried about who else he might know if he's that close with your ex. Have you told any of your other friends about this situation? They should know in case this weirdo tries contacting them too. And you should watch out just in case he tries to reach back out to you from another fake profile or something.

After 10 years of lies you just can't trust anything about this dude. I'd be weirded out for a long time if it was me! At least you had the smarts to cut him off completely though. Most important thing is staying safe since he seems like a nutjob catfisher. Let me know if you ever need anything else!

[Asker]

we met on a dating site, he didn't have a profile pic but was friendly and we chatted also on that dating site was my ex harrassing me etc...
We spoke sporadically not all the time through kik then we'd stop talking for a few months and he would contact me through kik again and we'd chat.. But thing is hadn't spoken to him in at least 3 years, ex made an appearance and we chatted within a month this guy appears again..

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that is super sketchy. Too many red flags and coincidences here for this not to be your ex or someone he knows messing with you. A few things that stand out:

- Meeting on a dating site but no pic after 10 years is just weird.

- Using Kik is also kinda shady since it's easier to stay anonymous on there.

- Contacting sporadically over months/years then popping back up right after your ex appears... big coincidence.

- Not having normal social media but just chatting on one anonymous app.

It really does sound like your ex found a way to still get to you or set up fake profiles. Maybe using a friend's phone or something too so you can't trace it. No normal guy would carry on a "friendship" like this for so long without meeting.

I know it sucks cause you probably liked having someone to chat to. But this dudes intentions were never good - he's just been messing with your head! Clean break is best, block and forget. You deserve better friends who actually want to know you for real. Stay safe!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd like to ask what made you pursue superficial convos with a total stranger for ten years, because... That seems alien to me 😅

[Inafishbowl99]

It's always a serious red. flag when a guy speaks. to you online after a long time and shows you nothing of himself.
After 10 years and no phone call. and no picture. Well this is a huge red flag md it waving in your face.
You could be talking to anyone , a neighbour? Friends ex boyfriend? Or worse a person with bad intentions..
Another alarm bell is that he called you 'a good girl'. !!!
I mean so patronising and belittling of a guy to say this to you.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Yeah definitely sounds catfishy to me. Surely, a phone call or a photo could be done regardless if there was a girlfriend or not. If there really was a girlfriend then she would have been just as jealous with him talking to another girl in text form, but he spent 10 years doing that.

That being said... 10 years? You went 10 years without getting these things and assumed it was on the up and up? You are very trusting it seems.

[Asker]

Tbh I never thought because I wasn't into him it was kinda a online pen friend.. 10 years ago was when ex dumped me, 10 years ago stalking me on a dating site where I met this guy.. Im so Fkin dumb lol. He had me for 10 years

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Nah not dumb, just overly trusting in my opinion.

At least it's over with now and he's not going to be able to string you along cause you know what to look for this time.

[Asker]

Could it be a coincidence or do u think 2 separate people.. I don't know.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Not sure, but whether it is your ex or two separate people they are acting very suspicious and I'd probably avoid them either way

[LiamJHayden]

Go with your gut. Either your ex or some fake.