Is it normal to still think about your ex after more than a year of being apart?

[superchan2011]

Me and my ex spilt in sep of 2023 after 4 years of being together. 2 years were ldr and 2 was us living together. Even though our relationship ended badly we had a mostly good relationship and was planning on getting married and spending life together. I feel like I may no longer be suicidal or so depressed that I can't eat or sleep right, and I can actually stand to get out the bed and do stuff but I still have my moments. And I do still think about her everyday. I see people on reddit that act like their exes are dead to them and I just don't get it. If you've truly loved someone, not liked, not lusted after, not just fall into infatuation with but legit love, how do you ever stop loving and caring about them? How do you stop thinking about them?

[ManOnFire]

You said the relationship ended badly. Can I ask what happened?

But to answer, yes, there are plenty of people who still think about an ex for over a year. I've heard people still being stuck on them for years. Don't be too fooled by the people who are acting like their ex doesn't matter to them anymore, a lot of people put on a pretense that they're just fine and have "moved on" when deep down they're still thinking about the other person or even hoping they come back. And then some others truly do mean it when they say they're over them and were able to move on fast.

[superchan2011]

Something I would rather not go into. I think the ones who moved on too fast didn't really love the other person that deeply in the first place. Otherwise you would still think about the person. You would just learn to live your life in spite of it.

[ManOnFire]

@superchan2011 That is absolutely true, and I agree because I've said the same thing to others on Quora as well. However, you do have people with deep emotional and psychological issues who feel next to nothing after breaking up with someone, because of whatever trauma or past damage they dealt with that makes them incapable of really loving anyone.

[superchan2011]

That's true as well. In fact what you just said is the only other reason I can come up with for why people can just quickly forget about someone who was a significant part of their life. Their emotionally and mentally damaged or guarded so they either can't or won't allow themselves to fully love another person. Of course when your not fully invested its much easier to move on.

[paledreams]

The important thing sir, apart from always seeking professional help therapy etc and coping mechanisms is to be able to get back on the horse and even if you spot some hot chick who smiled and thinks your the new bees knees, then lucky you:)

[superchan2011]

I'm starting to feel like I can care about other girls being attracted to me again. So I suppose that's a good sign. Whereas I wouldn't have cared about that shit at all just a few months back. If it wasn't my ex it was gonna be no one. Now while I would still take my ex back, at the same time I would give another woman a chance.

[katiesmuff]

OK! Time to tell us what you did to cause this what sounded like a perfect relationship to fall apart?

[superchan2011]

It's something I would rather not discuss on here.