Is it normal to still having feelings for your ex after many years?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking with different people but can't get him out of my mind. Sometime I get sad.

[sage2021]

I think if you are the one whose left behind and the other person goes on to have a better life with someone else, that kind of hurt cuts deeper and is very hard to put it behind you.
I don't believe that there's a certain amount of time that you should "get over it".
It's like when someone you really loved passes away and you mourn for them. But something did die - your relationship died and you must have loved him unconditionally to still be mourning your relationship with him.💔
For me personally what helped me was I stopped listening to music.🎶
Listening to love songs only made my painful worse.
It took me many many years before I stopped thinking about him.
I wish there was a pill we could take so our hearts could stop breaking.
Don't put yourself in a pressure cooker trying to stop thinking about him. There's no set time when your memory of that person just stops.
You're okay 👍 and you'll stop someday even if it's a long time from now but you will always remember him.
Stay strong sis❣️

[FreyaRed]

Maybe I'm cold hearten and ruthless bitch but I forgot my first love 3 months after breakup and I didn't fuck around like most people do.
I think it's from one person to another different, more emotional people will probably remember more on good times with the person and act with anger on bad memories, what at the end isn't a good cope mechanic.
Just think about those good memories, they aren't something special, because they aren't and don't get angry about bad ones because after anger comes some kind of emotional relief that soothes and this isn't helpful in forgetting someone either.

[Purpleronnie]

“Many years” , well I’d be staying away from classifying it as “abnormal” but would offer instead that it’s perhaps not healthy to still be looking back.


Accepting that a relationship is over and then dealing with the emotions left behind no matter how it ends can be really tough. I know from personal experience and for a time after I’d say it’s “expected” to have feelings but not many years.


I would say a person in that position needs to put those thoughts and feelings to rest and move on with their lives and start creating some new memories.

[Finchie40]

No, unfortunately you are holding onto the good memories and overlooking the bad , an ex is an ex for a reason, if they truly loved you and cared about you they wouldn’t be your ex period , unless the both of you split up over a mutual agreement, with no conflict. Otherwise you are wasting your time thinking about them

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He was my first and I’ll always have love for him in my heart. But I don’t think about him anymore.
I loved who he was at that time in the past, how happy he made me and how deeply he loved me, but I am in love with someone else now, and I don’t waste time thinking about my ex,

only when he is brought up in conversation when I have to think about something in the past.

[HawkPerception]

Sadly, it's not uncommon. Most people who are left behind and focus primarily on the good aspects of their ex, tend to stay lost, reminiscing over their past experiences.

To move on, try to keep in mind, they did not value enough to stay with you. This doesn't mean you're perfect by any means. Always try to better yourself. But living in the past is not healthy. Move on with your life.

"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."

[AviatorTom]

Before they were your ex, you had feelings for them, and those feelings don't just disappear when you break up.

It's perfectly normal to have fond memories and still have some feelings for your ex, but you should have stronger feelings for people currently in your life.

[DemonTime]

The reason you likely still think about him might be because you have either been keeping tabs on him through friends or social media, as many girls have admitted they tend to do to see how life would have been after the break-up, also depends on who broke it off, you might have been going through rough relationships that have not been working out and reminds you of an ex who may have been a better choice so regretting a break-up, in other cases women usally don't tend to love with authenticity but rather for sustainability, a providers vs someone who seems unpredictable and you tend to chose the safer side which is the guy that has everything together for your future rather than love at its pure true essence, there's a women from my highschool who keeps tabs on me even after years have past by and she is married with children but still stalks my page, after highschool women get ran through, played with are usually in their hoe phase and one thing leads to another years later you would think she would have forgotten me, nope.

[Zionne]

Yes, it’s normal. Feelings for an ex can linger for years, especially if the relationship was meaningful or ended without full closure. It usually softens over time, but it’s okay to acknowledge those emotions while still moving forward and exploring new connections.

[AgentG111]

It can and does happen and it can be based on many different reasons or levels. Age, distance, family and upbringing can force humans apart.

Not being compatible (at all ) or during that time. Then something hits you and your head goes into overload and that's all you seem to be consumed with it the thoughts and feelings for that other person.

[Sal_Monella]

I have been in love (infatuated) twice in my life. I have been married 4 times. There is no overlap. One first love betrayed me. I'm still angry about it. The other was a little spooky. I still love her. That does not mean I don't love my now wife. Its just different.

[red324]

I got one. Been like 4 years now? Maybe 5? My heart would probably skip a beat and id get all warm and sweaty nearly passing out if she ever texted me one day. I think if you ever fall really hard for someone, you'll never forget it and whoever comes after that won't be the same, because your guard will be way up so you dont get hurt again. That was like the death of a family member losing her and she didn't even die. She just left me. Lol

[Unycorn]

No. Usually time let you forget. Sometimes it needs long time. Someday it will be better. Loom forward. You only have one life.

There is a reason why it is your ex and you both should make best life.

[dwreborn]

I know if I lose my wife Iam afraid I will never love someone else those are my feelings now we will see after time how I feel but I woild assume longterm marriages with kids involved there is gotta be feelings for ex partners its gotta be mormal

[HighValue]

No, it's not unless you were the one that messed up and he ended things.

Either way, whatever happened, don't get into a new relationship until you stop having feelings for any ex. it isn't fair to a new partner to do that.

[qwerty2469]

I dont know if its normal but it should be encouraged. It means you made the right decision associating with them. Im still very close with all my exes. We didn't work out. I have to live with that but I picked awesome woman so at least they are still in my life. What feelings I have for them? Maybe. Im a sociopath.

[Joshydavid25]

Depends on how long you were together and how deep the connection was.. If you really loved him and he may have been your first then yeah it's not uncommon to still have feelings.. Especially if you didn't do the breaking up..

[Genie23]

No, I understand some people take longer time to move on than others but years? 😳 That's not normal. Did you ever really tried to move on from him or you're still holding onto hope?

[Genie23]

Did you ever try sharing how you feel about breakup, . What lead to breakup. How you feel after the breakup. I mean, sometimes sharing things like this with your girl friend helps you feel like heavy weight is finally off your chest and helps you heal.

[avery58]

Not feelings, but sometimes I feel bittersweet about one. I wasn't going to let my life depend on him though. Moving on is a choice, which I decided to make.

[Miristheiss]

If you were madly in love and wanted to stay with them and wanted a lifetime with them and they are the ones who ended then it is understandable to keep feelings for a long time.

[Nikki1989]

Feelings are normal. I still have feelings for exes, which is why most are still good friends. My hubby is the same with his exes.

[insatiable_curiosity]

When we love someone, our love doesn’t just go away when the relationships end.

[McLlovin]

You still in the healing process, probably shouldn’t date until you’re over them.

[Mariogirl09]

Its gonna take a while for him to get out of your system
Don't worry

[BarryLiverstone]

But she said many years

[foxsquirrell]

For years I suffered the same. There is nothing you can do about it. It goes to show how careful you need to be with love because they might not love you back the way you do.

[goaded]

Since before you were born. It doesn't mean you can't live your life.

[i_Jedi]

Yes, totally normal! it just means that person was a big part of your life and left a mark on you, even if you’ve moved on.

[DrPepper12]

Yes!!! You shared of yourself!! It matters & should be cherished

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, if you felt strongly about them, they never really go away

[robocop666]

David X says never get back together with your ex as you will only realise why you broke up in the first place.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Thats completely normal you'll get over it when you get over it

[jshm2]

No. You really need to check your head.

[Bricealan]

Everybody does that at some point.

[beenherebefore]

I don't think is normal but quite common.

[Noodle_fan]

Depend r u single or no atm

[BarryLiverstone]

No, more than a year it’s not normal

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's completely normal.

[MasterKS]

yes some always be fool.

[In_Trance]

Not normal

[zombiewoof]

It happens