Is it normal to think back about an ex years later?

[red324]

I could go date another girl today if I ran into one where we both had a spark, but I think everyone still has that one that got away so to speak. You know where it could be like 8 years later and the whole breakup still comes to mind here and there.

[imtiaz45]

Yes, it’s normal to think about an ex years later. Relationships, especially meaningful ones, leave a lasting impact on our emotions and memories. Reflecting on an ex doesn't necessarily mean you want to rekindle the relationship; it could be triggered by nostalgia, unresolved feelings, or simply wondering how they’re doing. These memories can surface during certain life events or when experiencing similar situations. It’s a natural part of processing past experiences and personal growth. As long as these thoughts don’t interfere with your current life or relationships, they’re a normal part of human reflection.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1-_gcYr2Y0U

[UnicornLobotomy]

There’s a woman I never dated, never slept with, and probably never will but who I spent time with that is stuck in my head permanently. I’ve never had a bad thought about her and I care more for her than anyone. She has her own life and I have mine. Both full of our own heavy drama, but our paths crossed for a season and I’ll never forget it. Our lives are about as different as you could get the statistics of such a thing aren’t what fascinates me but how my heart sank so deep for her.

At a time when I thought I didn’t have a much of a heart anymore life came around to hit me in a way only God could to show me who I really was again.

[PeachyPie93]

Pretty normal, I kind of think we all have that one person. Best thing you can do is try to forget it, since its in the past and you can't change it.

[melnc]

Due to your shared history, I believe you miss the person you used to be when you were together.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

wild guess but I like the speculation !

[avery58]

I think this is true for some people. Sometimes part of it is they miss the time when they met or were dating them

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@avery58 I get it, symbolically, something could be at play that goes beyond the visible events themselves, it makes sense, I've never viewed it like this

[Keyboardkat]

I miss the person I used to be, although I was 23 and a bit naive and immature, so I wouldn't want to be that person now. And I miss the person she used to be when we were together. She was just wonderful! But I'm wise enough to know that no one remains the same, because life changes us. It was an idyllic time in my life and I hope in hers as well. I am happily married for five decades and I would never dream of exchanging my wife for anyone. But we're human and sometimes there's that, "If only I'd been a little different, a little smarter, a little more mature..."

[BetaBucks]

It's not normal to me, but I've been with my wife for 15 years, so it's not like I really think about anyone that far back. I don't think any ofy exes were good people, so there's a reason I broke up with them all and wouldn't want to ever get back with them.

[Lliam]

I have fond memories of all of my former girlfriends. But there is one that I think about all the time. She was my ideal. She is the first women I ever loved with my entire heart and soul. Unfortunately, we were not able to spend the rest of our lives together even though we loved each other.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's common to have thoughts like this passing by, mind is not an organized computer and grief is not a software either. Don't spend too much time in the "what if" though, or else, you will become...

A science-fiction novelist

That's not so bad !

[Rapport]

It’s normal, in my opinion, I get random thoughts about exes and just certain people of my past that I haven’t talked to in years in general.


Perfectly normal.

[exitseven]

I still think about an ex sometimes. I know I ended up with the right person but it somehow bothers me that we never really had a chance.

[ArrowheadSW]

I think it is normal. I think about certain ex's fairly often.

[Fireguy17]

Thinking of them every so often, pretty normal.
Obsessing over them, you have a problem.

[Massageman]

It's normal to think about ANY thing about your past.

[DrPepper12]

Of course!! I still think about "What if" from 7th grade!!! Enjoy the memories!!

[edmwarrior]

i'm 100% over all my exes. I even loved one with all my heart and would've died for her

[DishLady]

Yeah.

[scott04sa22]

I know this is kinda of the off subject. I started thinking about my old crush recently for some odd reason, but she wants nothing to do with me. So I guess it's normal 🤷🏻‍♂️

[DishLady]

I think of my first love sometimes now that we’re all older. I figure it’s normal. Not that I want anything to happen, but just remembering my college days and how sweet he was to me.

[scott04sa22]

My old crush is more attractive now than she was from the past. I do have unresolved feelings for her, and I'm working on letting them go or letting it past because im currently healing right now

[DishLady]

How long ago did you have the crush?

It’s ok to have a couple of feelings as long as they’re not keeping you from moving forward with a good person, you know?

[scott04sa22]

I don't know how to explain. I had a crush on her back in the early 2000s, but she never liked me back because she liked someone else from that time and she knew I liked her. She told me twice from different times she doesn't like me back.

[DishLady]

Ok so you need to make a list — everything you like about her on one side of the page then in a harsh light everything you hate about her on the other side of the page…. Circle the deal breakers…. Post it on your fridge and look at the dealbreakers till you realize you don’t want or need her…

[red324]

I think older women appreciate that more, compared to a girl who's like 25

[DishLady]

@red324, Appreciate what more? The reflection on the past loves?

[red324]

The fact that he was sweet to you. Most 25 year olds date idiots just for the excitement

[DishLady]

Oh, I see what you mean. We're both in our 50s now and the opportunity is long gone, but he's still sweet to me, tbh, which is saying something bc typically he's very into himself -- which, fyi, is why I know it wouldn't work. I always think about other people first and he always things to cover himself first. It was always our problem.

[scott04sa22]

@red324 I can talk to most older women easily fine. Younger women and women around my age are nightmare

[red324]

Me too, but that's because every nice thing I do gets thrown back in my face. Let's go on a ice boat ride this evening, we can have dinner and watch the sun set. She won't show up...

[red324]

Nice boat ride*

[DishLady]

@scott04sa22 You're 38, right? Are girls your age really that bad? I can't believe it. Just find a nice, energetic, positive sort of gal close to your age? (Bypass the "biological clock" crew that's just hitting 35-37. Go a little younger or a little older...)

[DishLady]

Aww, @red324... the nice boat ride sounds amazing... you just picked one loser gal. Please don't give up... and don't lose that lovely romantic streak. There's a girl who will appreciate it for sure. It just takes a little time to find her. <3

[scott04sa22]

@DishLady the women around my age or younger are bad. I can't find anybody with good traits. I have two ex-girlfriends who are now currently engaged and soon to be married. Their engagements shorty happens after dating me less than a month. I stopped dating because I got tired of people getting engaged after seeing me.

[DishLady]

@scott04sa22 Have you ever done an "exit interview" with these people? I mean... have you ever asked them why things didn't work out? It's helpful to get that feedback at times.

[scott04sa22]

@DishLady I usually get ignore, blocked or ghosted and never heard from them again until I hear their exciting announcements from someone

[DishLady]

@scott04sa22 Hmm... Ok, so you do need to perhaps step back from dating for a month or so to assess what your past relationships have had in common... Pinpoint what you're doing right and what your doing to drive these women into the arms of some other guy...

[scott04sa22]

@DishLady it has to do with my luck from what people told me. I haven't dated anyone since April 2024 and I don't plan on dating for a long time or never

[DishLady]

@scott04sa22 "Luck" is a load of BS... Do the reflection I've suggested here... then try again in 2025. Perhaps 2024 is just meant to be a year of reflection for you, ok?

[red324]

@scott04sa22 lmao, you and me both

[red324]

Oh I picked more than one loser gal, lmao they never want to go on the boat.

[DishLady]

@red324 :( -- You're def not asking the deserving gals...

[red324]

I actually think it's because they think I just want to bang them on the boat or they're self conscious. One girl was like let me get sexy first. Lol, (she meant hit the gym) she was fine how she was

[DishLady]

Hahaha. Well... perhaps start with the offer of a short ferry ride first so it seems less suspect.

[FunkyMonkee]

Can you stop it from happening?

[Crazzyyworld]

if I have no money or no sex yes

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

what a crazy world indeed !