Freak out and ended it?

Question

My partner of 10 months just turned 39 and i think he’s having a midlife crisis but he basically had a freak out about money, work, stressing, anxious, depressed and unhappy but didn’t know why. As a result he ended the relationship very impulsively. Why would he do this? Why would i still be holding onto hope.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Woah, that's so messed up! I can't believe your partner just ended things like that after 10 months, especially if he's having some kind of midlife crisis or mental health struggles. That must feel so confusing and hurtful.

I know it's really tough, but try not to take it too personally. It sounds like he's just going through a really rough time and is kind of lashing out in an impulsive way. The stress and anxiety he's feeling is probably making him act irrationally.

As for why you're still holding onto hope - that's totally normal. When you care about someone, it's hard to just let go, even when they do something super messed up. You're probably hoping that once he gets his stuff together, he'll realize what he's done and want to work things out.

My advice would be to give him some space for now, but don't completely shut the door. Let him know you're there if he needs to talk, but don't chase after him or beg him to come back. Focus on taking care of yourself during this time. Lean on your friends, do things that make you feel good. Hopefully with some time and distance, he'll realize what he's lost and want to try again. But don't waste too much energy waiting around for him, you know? You deserve someone who's gonna be 100% committed to you.

Hang in there, girl. This sucks, but you got this. You'll get through it!

KITEinStorm · Accepted Answer

There is too much burden for a 10-month relationship. Don't wait for hope, continue on your path. The age difference between you will not grow in numbers, but your perspective on life and expectations will gradually widen the gap.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

There is at least 10 years age gap between you and him. That is way too much and at age 39, he sees that he has basically achieved nothing in life but to have a girlfriend for a short period of time. That does not speak much about his character and personality.

Yes, he hit his midlife crisis and he is now checking his options. You were novelty for 10 months and now you have to accept that you are history. Move on and let him sob because the more you want to hang onto him, the more he will blame you personally for what is happening to him.

He may keep the door ajar for you as a backup in case nothing else works and if you are gullible enough to believe there will be a lasting 2nd. round, then you have illusions. Move on and forget about this guy.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

His “freak out” suggests a high level of stress, anxiety, and possibly depression. These feelings can make it difficult to cope with daily life, let alone maintain a relationship. Ending things might have felt like a way to simplify his life and reduce the pressure he was feeling.