Zero wish to kiss my wife. No attraction. Walk away? Stay around?

[Anonymous]

I haven't kissed my wife in the lips in about 15 years and it's feels alien to me. Now we're sleeping apart, feels right. I am lonely and sex starved.

With my wife I guess there's no attraction and lot of animosity should I just escape the marriage?

[retarb]

You need to suck it up and kiss her. You stopped giving attraction so you stopped recieving it. Treat her like a puppy (I realize how bad that sounds but fuck it we ball) and shower her with bouts of affection because you'll get it back. The spark didn't fade, it was smothered by apathy.

[Asker]

This is the answer I relate to the most

It's not nice to hear but maybe there is truth to this

[retarb]

I'm too retarded to lie, big dawg.

[RedInnocent69]

You’ve brought it on yourself and aren’t really sex-starved

[Asker]

Why am I not?

[RedInnocent69]

If you were, you’d take it out on the girl next to you, you know, the one you’re married to who already agreed to have sex with you

[Asker]

Hmm
That is a fair point
There is more to the story
It's been dragging on now for two years
It started with a big row
The dislike now prevents intimacy

I see what you're saying and previously the need for sex drove me back to her... Like you say she is the girl to whom I'm married who I'm supposed to have sex with
Now I can't do that

[Anonymous]

Your poor wife. I hope she can find the good sense to dump your ass.

[Asker]

Yay!
Which side are you on🙂

[Asker]

I know my question sounds harsh

After 20 years and horrible things said by both sides, attraction has dwindled.

[Asker]

I guess what I'm asking, how bad do things have to get before you pull the trigger on separating

[Asker]

Tbh I can't imagine leaving but I am looking around at options

[Anonymous]

Why are men like this? Zero balls to divorce that bitch.

[Asker]

That's possibly true

She gets 400k if I divorce her

And zero if I don't

[Asker]

You have a point
She is a bitch
It would be devastating for both of us if we're to separate
So starting from there, how to get the "feeling" back?
I read a book about divorce which said fake it into you make it
In other words give give give
Flowers, love, effort until it begins to feel real

[andreasderjuengere]

Marriage - if one was silly enough to enter one - is also an economical alliance.

As for the sex: check out the acceptable alternatives around.

[molonski2]

That's not a marriage mate , its not even a friendship..

Start working towards finishing it , you can't live like this , impossible.

[MrMichael69]

Have you talked to your doctor or tried counseling?

[Asker]

Talked to doctor regularly because I know him well and he says I should patch things up
It makes sense he says to make it work
For the children, the living accommodation
Herself and myself
To stick together

[Anonymous]

Why are you staying? Sounds like there isn't much of a choice, the marriage sounds over to me