My wife loves me but she doesn't desire me. What should I do?

[freedom]

I'm 100% sure that my wife loves me but she doesn't desire me. She told me the same... What do you think could be the reason?

[GoodManDave]

It could be hormonal. It could be she's tired. Maybe she's asexual. Maybe she's bored. Maybe you seem bored (even if you're not). Maybe it's just that you're at a point where the dynamic has changed a little. I think it happens with a lot of marriages. Eventually, even in great relationships, both just become more like friends and companions who love each other, are used to each other, but they're kind of over the sex thing and it becomes more of a thing you have to be aware of. Maybe you have to schedule it or something.

Or... it could be something you're doing... or not doing. If you have kids, do you work with them a lot, make her life easier as a mom? Are you belching and farting in bed? Stop doing the Dutch oven thing. I'm told they hate that. Do you have bad funky breath? Bad teeth? Are you wearing the same gross "lucky" boxers that get holes?

Are you doing the Fred method of wearing underwear? "I wear 'em front. I wear 'em back. I go inside out. Then I go front and back." - Fred, Big Hero Six.

Have you gained a bit of weight? Has she? Is the bedroom (or wherever you want to get some snuggles) clean or getting messy? Some people can't handle even a slightly messy room when they go for some lovin'. Is your bathroom clean?

Do you take her out? Does she get surprised in nice ways? Things that might make her feel romanced or appreciated without coming across as expecting sex? Back rubs with no strings attached? Do you work to make her feel like your wife/woman? Do the laundry/dishes/chores?

It could be something like that, or you could still be the biggest stud muffin who does everything really well... You work out, keep a clean house that most hospitals would envy. You could brush, eat healthy, earn a stable and wealthy income, have beautiful babies, never snore and make her question that there are three top stud muffiny versions of you... and a lack of desire could still happen.

As long as you're still getting it on occasion... that might just be how things are for a little bit. If it lasts too long, maybe look into couples counseling or something, but... sometimes it's not a sign of a problem, it's just what (I've heard) happens.

I know this is not a definitive answer, but not knowing you, I can't say what's going on for sure. All I can do is throw out some possibilities. Hope you guys can figure it out. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

There could be a variety of reasons why your wife doesn't desire you. Some possible reasons might include:

1. Changes in physical appearance: If either you or your wife have experienced changes in physical appearance, such as weight gain, aging, or other factors, this could impact attraction levels.

2. Stress or anxiety: High levels of stress or anxiety can impact libido and desire for sex.

3. Relationship issues: If there are unresolved issues or conflicts in your relationship, this can impact desire and attraction levels.

4. Hormonal changes: Hormonal imbalances or changes, such as those that occur during menopause, can impact libido and desire for sex.

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about her feelings and to work together to identify any underlying issues or concerns. Seek the support of a therapist or counselor if necessary to help navigate these issues.

It's also important to remember that desire and attraction can fluctuate over time, and that it's normal for couples to experience periods of lower desire. Working together to strengthen emotional intimacy and communication can help to improve desire and strengthen your relationship overall.

[Juicyred921]

It’s not uncommon in a relationship to lose passion and desire. There can be a lot of factors. But there’s not enough information to narrow it down. How long have you been married? Has she desired you in the past? Have there been any major life changes? Have you been showing your desire for her?

[devilish-cutie]

If she doesn't finds you sexually atractive - i wonder what kind of love that is... well not the kind you want and have for her

If she doesn't finds you sexually atractive - than she has some sexual issues she needs to resolve in order to have sex with you

[Aerissa_Jade]

She could be asexual and not desire anyone at all. She can still love others, she simply does not desire anyone in that way.

[Orion76]

Let her go and find someone who does, I know it’s easy to say but life is short and don’t fall into the web of therapy or doctors and don’t go looking for reasons behind it neither why do we have coerce everything to work for us. You have the right to be desired and she has the right to feel what she is feeling I’m assuming she is mentally and physically capable of desire but not you, then you are both standing in others way and it’s time you guys have an adult and responsible discussion. Good luck

[DaySpring]

She wants a better life @freedom
It's not you. She's ready to grow. Your present life isn't serving her anymore.
Ask her what she wants... What she really wants not what she thinks she can get. Unless you have changed or something it isn't you.

[EclipsedMoonlight]

I can't speak for every women obviously but usually our desire comes from our emotions/mental health. Maybe she is depressed? Could just be a dry spell too. Maybe you guys have an unresolved issue that's got her head messed up? Maybe try to remember what first attracted you to each other and try to do something that got her attention then? I'm sorry you're going through that.

[TalynMere]

Love like that isn't real. What she's doing is sparing your feelings and probably trying to keep stability while she figures out what she wants to do with her life.

You can rekindle that desire, but it's not always easy and not always even what should be done.

[fantasticass]

You need to treat her as if you were " dating" her. I suggest you book a nice fancy place for the weekend, and put HER first. Surprise her with her favorite flowers, or something you know she would like. Unfortunately, in relationships we either grow together or grow apart. You decide ✌️🇨🇦

[MrOracle]

The two of you need relationship counseling, badly. Your relationship has little chance of survival without it. It may not survive anyway, but if there's any chance of saving it, you need a third party to hold each of you accountable.

[Moist_Gums]

Did she explain why she doesn't desire you? Is it something physically, emotionally, or mentally? To give some pointers we'd need to know why she feels this way despite her love for you. And how long she's been feeling that way.

[NotTacocaT6969]

You should ask her what the reason is.


Let her know that if it is something within your power to fix, you will try.


Can’t work on a problem if you don’t know what it is.

[annabananna]

You know it could be many reasons. She could have a lower sex drive due to hormones stress or depression. It could be that y’all need to do more activities together to reconnect as well.

[abc3643]

Consider yourself lucky!

My wife doesn't love me and doesn't desire me - just my income to pay for her hobbies.

[misogynistic_pig]

Men should stay away from women and marriage to avoid the risk of being exploited or emotionally abused by them.

[misogynistic_pig]

From this approach, a possible answer to your question could be that if your wife doesn't want you, then you should focus on your own life and well-being instead of trying to please her or change your situation.

[misogynistic_pig]

the idea of ​​being in a marriage where there is no sexual attraction could be considered a form of emotional slavery or being used by a woman for financial or social reasons.

[Paulalove98]

She loves you but wants more from you? She feels something isn’t complete?

[lightbulb27]

did she ever?

she went emotionally flat... doen't feel loved, or understood.

[cryscrys1]

That’s like saying I love life but I chose to suicide

[Quackthulu2]

Typically one of two reasons. She realized she prefers women. Or you got fat/old.

[DermalPunch]

You neglected important things probably a few years back and let it fester.

[KrakenAttackin]

She "loves" what you can provide for her, but she doesn't give a fuck about "you" specifically. If you lost your ability to provide she would bounce like a bad check.

[FilmGuy93]

Could be an emotional intimacy issue, could be a physical appearance issue.

[Emmahkhan]

Give her some time to think and talk together so you can figure out what the reasons might be.

[Anonymous]

if she doesn't desire you, how could she 100% love you? nonsense... she's falling out of love for you. this is how most divorces start.

[LiamJHayden]

It depends how she defines love. To me love is superior to desire, because desire will rise and fall, but love is a conscious choice.

[Sparkie460]

My wife's reason is because she went through menopause and she has other health issues. I don't think your wife went through menopause yet.

[happyfoetus]

See if she has some pent up issues with you.

[WolfDM]

That isn't love if she doesn't want to be intimate. You show love with actions and the lack of that particular action means she is seeing someone else.

[_Troian_]

Well if she doesn't desire you then she desires someone else mane.. I gotta be honest with that.

[Sweety_Torneeya]

She loves you but she is expecting something fantasising from you.

[Anonymous]

House work over load, maybe your behaviour, lots of reasons. Ask her about it. Guys don’t communicate w their women!!!

[LittleSally]

Ask her. She sounds honest.

[slatyb]

Doesn't matter. Do you have children?

[Anonymous]

Strip for her! Magic Mike style!

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Discuss it with her in length.

[WhyohWhy69]

Give her an orgasm every now and then.

[TheFlak38]

The way women bullshit men.

[In_Trance]

Be someone she wants to desire

[OddBeMe]

Where’s the difference? Is it the energy?

[Massageman]

Ask her why.