I escaped an abusive relationship, but now his family won't leave me alone-how do I shut this down?

[Anonymous]

Here’s a bit of backstory: my ex and I were together for about a year, and the relationship was abusive from start to finish. He caused me serious mental and emotional damage. It was a traumatic experience in every sense—you name it, I probably went through it. He broke my personal belongings, I’ve had to literally run for my life, and I even ended up with a concussion at one point.

Despite all of that, I tried to help him. There were times he couldn’t even afford to eat, and I was the one making sure he had food. His family was never really there for him, but I tried to be. I tried to give him hope, show him love, and be a support system, but he treated me so horribly that I eventually had to leave—for my own safety and sanity.

When I left him, he became obsessed. He’d stalk me, and would call my family to lie just to get my attention. Because of him, I lost friends, family members, and even my job.

Long story short, he’s now in jail for a case involving his ex before me. He was found guilty, but even behind bars, he tried to contact me. I blocked the jail number, but then he started having random people call and text me on his behalf.

Now, out of nowhere, his family—the same family who was never there for him—is blowing up my phone. I answered one of his mom’s calls, and I calmly explained that I want nothing to do with her son and that what he put me through was incredibly traumatic. She started talking about God and forgiveness, saying that since God forgives us, I should forgive him too.

I told her how much damage he caused, and instead of understanding, she started begging me to at least talk to him, saying he “loves and misses” me. It makes me sick to even have to relive this or explain it over and over, but they just don’t get it. Every time I block a number, a new one pops up. It’s exhausting and triggering.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

[serious]

Well, don't give in to this. Of course they will try to do these things. Turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to this. It is much better to keep blocking the numbers rather than wasting your time to explain things to them. Don't compel yourself to speak and explain things.

If this continues then your last resort would be to take the help of law.

[sawno]

Don't acknowledge it, he's testing how much he has to do to get to talk to you again. Make sure that your consistent like you'd be with a little kid, none of the attempts should work. Keep blocking anyone who tries to approach on his behalf and don't even get into discussions with them.

[genericname85]

From what i gathered from your description, you never asked them not to contact you anymore. you just blocked them. so that would be a good start. don't have to make it aggressive. just be polite about it and ask them to respect the boundary you're setting for them.

[Blunky]

You file a harrassment report. Any further contact made on his behalf, lawsuit.

[seeyounexttuesday]

Get a new number. Sorry.