How to get my ex back?

[Anonymous]

Hi, guys!

I am 25 years old. During the recent months, I was very upset and nervous due to my new job, it is really stressful. I boyfriend told me he saw I wasn't happy which was true, I was constantly coming home very angry and crying. He dumped me recently.

I haven't texted him since then which was 20 days ago. I want him back, I am really sorry, I have reflected my behaviour and I am willing to change. How can I get him back, what to do? Shall I text him and apologise, but if I do this will I look desperate?

Tell me, those of you who got back together with exes, how did it happen, who made the first step? Any advice would be appreciated!

Updates

1 y

He said that he still loves me, but I really hurt him and he also hurt me so there is no point in being in such relationship, that's what he said.

[HollyK21]

So he feels like this is a relationship where you only hurt each other — how could you convince him that this isn’t the case anymore? Only time will do that. Not “the right” words or manipulative actions, and yes I know that’s an uncomfortable word but when you are looking to do things that will “get him back” then that’s you wanting to manipulate his emotions to match yours. In my opinion, that means you aren’t being receptive of how he’s feeling and instead prioritizing your own emotions that you’re sick of dealing with and don’t want to regulate, like missing him and wanting him.


My advice is be receptive to what he says or how he feels and be intentional with your own actions. If he’s still open to texting and talking along with having said he still loves you then to me that could mean maybe there’s a chance. Let things fall back together naturally if they’re meant to and respectfully let him go if they don’t. Yes it would hurt but his feelings deserve to be considered as well rather than treated as an obstacle course to surpass. Thinking that you are toxic for one another is a perfectly valid reason for him to be cautious (if he’s being genuine and not making excuses of course).

[Asker]

ok, thank you, but what do you suggest i do, i wait?

[HollyK21]

Yes, usually giving something time involved waiting lol.

[Anonymous]

why didn't he try to help you or try to talk to you or work through things if you were always coming home angry and crying after work? that is concerning. yet, instead, he just said f this and left? you sure you want someone like that back? you are young...

[DrPepper12]

Sorry. Move on

[In_Trance]

Don't

[Asker]

why, i love him

[In_Trance]

Who gives a shit

He told you there was no point. How can he be any more clear than that?