How can I get my ex back?

Question

MysticAngel5000 · Accepted Answer

The first thing to ask if why do you want them back?

It all comes down to exes are exes for a reason. Most the time, it's better this way and they were not meant to stay in your life. That can really sting to hear, trust me... I know, but it's true. Some people just aren't meant to stay and we really are better off without some people.

You need to ask yourself some seriously honest questions -

1. How long has it been since you broke up? There is a good chance you don't actually want them back and are just missing having someone in that sense. If the break up is still fresh, wanting them back is very natural. All the pain and emotions of the break up are still fresh. You haven't processed them all fully. You're going to want them back for sure at this point. But wanting them back doesn't mean you should get back with them.

2. Are you the dumper or the dumpee? As in are you the one who got broken up with or did you break up with your ex? No matter which side you're on, you will go through a phase of second guessing. If you broke up with your ex, you will absolutely second guess your decision and wonder if you REALLY should have broken up with them or not. If you got broken up with, you'll want to call/text them. You'll be second guessing WHY they broke up with you. Why weren't you good enough? What did you do to make them leave? It will drive you crazy and just add to the pain. It sucks. The truth is, you may not have done a single thing. You may not have had anything to do with it. There may have been nothing you could say or do. When someone's mind is made up, it can be impossible to change it. If they really do want to leave you, you can't stop them. As much as you want them to stay, you can't make them. They may have simply you decided you weren't who they wanted for the long-term and that's ok. You need to be with someone who is 100% sure about you. Not someone who is iffy and not fully committed or on the same page as you.

Even if you DID do something that caused them to leave (like cheat or something), don't be too hard on yourself. We are humans. We screw up. We make mistakes. We do and say things we shouldn't do or say. We are not perfect. The best thing you can do is LEARN from those blunders and try your best to prevent repeating them in the future. Offer a genuine apology for your wrongdoings and use it as a learning experience. That way, you won't make the same mistake (s) in your next relationship.

If you're the one who broke up with someone and now you want them back, tread lightly and respect their feelings. You probably hurt them a lot when you broke up with them and there is a good chance you may not get them back. You have to remember, YOU made the choice to leave. If they don't come back, you only have yourself to blame. Lick your wounds and learn from this. Understand that jumping to a big decision like a break up is not always wise. Don't break up and leave every single time you have an argument or something. Learn that arguments will happen in a relationship. Focus on good, healthy ways to handle them. Take space to give each other time to cool off, then go back and have a mature discussion with one another about what happened and work out a reasonable solution together.

3. Why do you want them back (or THINK you want them back)? Be honest. Do you miss having them to hold? Do you hate sleeping alone? Do you miss your TV partner or your walk-taking partner? When you're in a relationship and do a lot of stuff like that together, it is a huge adjustment to go back to doing all that alone. It will feel very weird at first. That's fine. Let yourself realize it feels different, but don't see it as all bad. Get a friend or family member to go for a walk with you. Get a dog to walk (even if you don't want or can't have a pet dog of your own, you can walk other people's dogs for them). Get a friend or family member to go to a movie with you or have a movie night at your place or a friend's/family member's place. And remind yourself that you are indeed an independent person who is perfectly capable of doing things on their own. You do not NEED another person. You can indeed do things on your own and it's OK to do things alone and enjoy your own company.

That is a good example of why it's important to maintain your own life and be your own person even in a relationship. Don't get used to them always being there to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot. You are not their child. It is not their job to do everything for you. Yes, you can be there for one another and help one another. Yes, you should work as a team and share responsibilities. But there is a big difference between working together and being dependent on someone.

It is ok to miss someone. Depending on how long you were together, it is going to be only natural for you to miss that person. It is part of the process. It is perfectly ok. Let yourself grieve the loss of the relationship.

4. What do you NOT like about your ex? Don't even think about saying there isn't anything you dislike. Yes there is. Your ex was not perfect and neither are you. It's time to be brutally honest and take off the rose colored glasses. How was your ex REALLY? What habits did they have that annoyed you? What did you not like? Did they not help you out much? Did they take advantage of you? Did you do most of the work in the relationship? Were they irresponsible? Could you REALLY see them as a long-term partner? Again - don't be afraid to be TOTALLY honest. You just might come to realize you were blinded by love and actually dodged a bullet by being rid of them.

A word on abusive relationships -

If the ex was abusive in any shape or form - verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually, etc., do not ever try to go back. Even if they come knocking at your door with begging for forgiveness and spewing all sorts of promises of change, don't buy it. A leopard doesn't change its spots. An abusive person will often make big claims like this just to get you back... then start right back with their old ways as soon as you take the bait. It is a vicious, repeat cycle. Don't do that to yourself. You deserve better. You are worth so much more than that.

If an abusive ex won't leave you alone, contact the police to get a restraining order. Block them from calling/texting you and block them from social media. Let those close to you know what is going on as well and be sure they know NOT to talk to the abusive ex or give them any info about you or your new life (where you live, your new phone number if you change it, etc.).

Make sure your employer knows about them as well and knows to keep them away from you and off the property. If you need to, find a support group for survivors of domestic violence. Get professional counseling/therapy or whatever it takes to get you back to a good place. Take care of yourself.

General final thoughts on relationships -

With all this being said, it is possible to get back together successfully sometimes. Sometimes, a break up is really stupid. You break up over something really petty and pointless. Sometimes, you just need to be apart to realize how much you actually need to get back together. People do indeed successfully reunite with an ex and reconnect. This is not always possible though and it is not always something you should try for.

You have to really be honest with yourself and weigh things very carefully before you try to rekindle a flame with an ex. Don't do it just to avoid being alone. Only try it if you both agree that you want to re-try. And make sure if you do, you both have a very open and honest discussion about the changes that will be needed on both ends in order to make it work.

If you can't come to an agreement or have a mature discussion, give up. It isn't the right relationship. People who are mature enough for a relationship and able to have open, honest discussion... even about unpleasant things. Mature people are able to see where they are wrong and be open to reasonable change. Don't waste your time on immature people who feel they are perfect and do no wrong.

Remember that not every relationship is meant to last. It sucks. It really does. Especially when you truly did have high hopes and think they were the one. Things aren't always what they seem unfortunately. In the end, things happen for a reason. Whatever is meant to be will be. If you are meant to get back together, you absolutely will. If not, no worries. You will heal and you will be ok. It won't be easy at times, and that's alright. But you will be ok and you will find your REAL forever person. Then it'll all make sense.

Good luck!

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

The fact that they are your ex means you likely will not get them back! The best thing you can do is move on with your life and have fun. If you live your best life, take care of yourself, and look your best… who knows they may regret their decision and want you back. I doubt it, but if you are living well and enjoying life, people will naturally want to be around you and you may find someone that you want to start a new relationship with regardless of whether your ex wants you or not! You need to work on you, and especially improving your self esteem. Whatever happened that resulted in this person being your ex, those things are likely STILL THERE! It’s normal to remember the happy times we had with our ex, and it’s normal to want those days to return. But we cannot live in the past, by moving on you will either find a new “special someone”, or your ex will see that perhaps they made a mistake! Either way you are only able to change yourself, nobody else!

Smoothing · Accepted Answer

It all depends on what happened between you and your ex. It is absolutely possible to get your ex back depending on how and why you split up.

But before you even embark on trying to get him back, think of the reasons why you split up in the first place and those reasons must be your reasons.

While you do that, consider whether you have grown and are able to docthings differently when you get back.

Also consider, was it because of you? Or was it because of him, why you split up?

When answering all these questions, try to think logically rather than emotionally. And once you decide you want to make that attempt, talk to him and don't play any mind games or the emotional manipulation. Take time to listen to him when you ask questions and do ask questions.

If the possibility is there, you will get back but if not, move on.

I find that once you have split up with somebody, you tend to have space to think logically with less emotional fog but it takes time to get to that. If you find that you have thought about things logically and you still want to get back, it usually means you never had a good reason to split up in the first place but instead you were being irrational at the time. In which case you might get back but don't expect things to go back exactly to the way they were.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Is your ex now with someone else?

Why did you break up? The context sounds as though your ex broke up with you since you are hankering for him. So perhaps the question is why did he break up with you. Usually dissatisfaction is expressed.

At your age it could be entirely sex related. Maybe he was dissatisfied or it could be a hot girl came along and offered him what he wanted.

A lot of answers are asking why would you want to and it is a good question that you should think about.

But perhaps you had a big fight and it ended with "we're finished". In your age bracket that is not that uncommon and it is not that uncommon for guys and gals to get back together again afterwards.

I think you need to provide a lot more context to get helpful answers.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Question is why do you want them back and do you really need that person back in your life? There's a reason the relationship did not last and that needs to be looked into before trying to reopen that door again. Make a list of all their pros and cons and make a list of your pros and cons and see where the possible clashes where determine from there why the relationship didn't work.

AviatorTom · Answer

You probably can't. The more important question is... why would you want to? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Fishermen know the one they throw back will not be caught again. Move on, find someone good for you.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You tried it once and it didn't work. Was that first time not convincing that you're not a good match?

Bre_0611 · Answer

Don't. An ex is an ex for a reason. You go back, it may end a million times worse than it did the last time. We're not all always meant to be and that is perfectly fine. It does not make or break you. Cry about it, get it all out, get your nails and hair done, take beautiful pictures, watch funny chick flicks, let music be your best friend, and live your life to the fullest my love💖💯 because it's too short to waste time on an individual. The sky will be blue everyday, the birds will continue to church in the morning, the ocean will continue to wave in the wind, so therefore you should continue to keep living the way you do.

If that ex loves YOU, they'll come back. But don't chase... ever. I tell everyone this.

Anonymous · Answer

You didn’t leave that many details about what happened. I take it he’s the one who broke up with you?

Men usually wait longer and/or try to really think through if whether or not they want to break up with our gfs. We typically don’t run off on an emotional whim just to regret it later.

So if a man breaks up with you chances are he really thought it all the way through and his decision is final. In his mind likely has a solid reason to (regardless if it was fair reason or not).

I know it sucks. Human nature makes us more fearful of loss vs. excited for what we can gain. But either way he made up his mind.

Now closure is a different topic. But I won’t go there on this one.

Weapon77 · Answer

You can't, sorry. And even if you can, it's not worth it. They wouldn't have left you if it had been a good relationship. Move on, trust me. I know from experience. I've been single for 7 years partly because of getting hung up on girls from my past. It's unhealthy. Move on to someone more compatible

irifebeck · Answer

Why? There's a lot of questions that come with getting an ex back... How did you guys break up? Why did you guys break up? Does he still seem interested in you? Is seeing someone else? Why do you want him back? If you broke up the first time, there's no guarantee that you'll be together for double the amount of time you two were initially together for.

fembotnpc777 · Answer

When he tries to call you, tell him what a horrible person he is and why you're no longer together, and that he can go fuck off and try to get laid without you in the picture.

Honestly, keep doing this, and it will relieve your bad feelings, because you're unloading them onto the guy who broke your heart. It's kind of like recycling.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you can, that's an exercise in psychology.

step #1 pay attention to what it is he needs emotionally and feed him that. make him feel respected and valued. understand him as a human being.

It's fishing... how do I catch a Bass? right tools, techniques, timing, skills, patience, the right lake. get it?

StephiC · Answer

Better question is why are you codependent and how do you get rid of it. Funnily enough, solving your codependnece will get your ex back.

Mainly because "men always come back" but especially because men always lust after a woman's mental and physical glow up.

revanthp915 · Answer

Why do you want to...
Think why before you want to get back...
If you think that all this break up was a mistake and if he still lives you don't loose him be with him...
If he has moved on so easily i dont know love isn't that easy to forget and move on in days it's takes hell lot of time...
Sooo what ever it is think for yourself if that's a right choice

DrBanana · Answer

It depends why you two broke up for starters, if you or he cheated or something might not be able to fix that cracked mirror.

My suggestion is just talk to them directly about it no emotional or mind games, after that you can’t force them.

Gent207-2 · Answer

That's the thing... you don't!

Break a glass cup - try to put it together with masking tape. That's what it's like getting back with an ex. It's stupid and unnecessary when their are plenty better people available

Man-O-Metal · Answer

Usually, if your thinking about getting back with an ex it's a temporary feeling that will pass once you've had enough time away from them. Focus on yourself and get back on track, leave this feeling to die. It's only going to hold you back.

CubsterShura · Answer

Girl I don't know why you're not together anymore, but you can do better than your ex.

But if you still want him back, the one and only way to get him back is simply to ask him out again and he has the right to decline.

Lalarousse · Answer

Don’t ! I did it, some of my friends too, and it never worked out ( talking of personal experience ). you left that person for a reason. Remind yourself everyday why you left him. He’s not worth it.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Move on, find someone new and probably better, sometimes ex's come back when they see your happy and things have changed. I wouldn't take them back, but that's just me.

Anonymous · Answer

All you can do is be a person worthy of another shot and hope they see it. At the end of the day the choice is THIERS, for better or worse. But it's best to do it for you, not for them, and move on. And this I s how you avoid this in the future. Never get so attached to ANYONE in your life that you cannot live without them.

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

Improve on yourself… Don’t contact them, this will activate their curiosity if interested… Be polite but brief if you cross paths…

Sour-rose · Answer

Very Simple. Act like a dog and say beg to have them back like they're the best thing in your world. Or don't and live ya life without 'em :)

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Probably there is no way to get him back. Without context we can only guess why it ended. But it ended, and people wanting it to end rather than working it out should say enough about whether it's possible or not.

Anonymous · Answer

You can’t, he’s in the past. You being with him is all in the past. It’s like if you are a pizza and threw it up, and now you’d want to eat your thrown up pizza. Its so old and so far gone.

Kori1236 · Answer

Why would you want to? Your ex is a part of your past, a lesson learned why go back and repeat the lesson.

sheikalana · Answer

I don't know why you want an ex back but if he was the one initiating the break up respect his wishes and give him the break up. If he regrets he will come and get you.

DJB72 · Answer

Why would you want to? If he dumped you, don't make him tell you twice that you're not enough. If you ended it, why do you want to have that back again?

peedy · Answer

Remember there is a reason why he is your ex do you honestly think its going to be different that you or him have changed
The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over excepting a different result

Kharolia123 · Answer

message me i will help you to get your ex back by doing magical things

exitseven · Answer

This is not what you want to hear but the truth is that there is no going back. It socks but that is how it works.

humanearth · Answer

Why? You broke up for a reason But if you want to really get him back. Be super slutty around him

CanadianLearner · Answer

You need to provide a lot more detail to actually get help with this.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Forget about him he will later regrets hos decision.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

How did it end?  I am married to my “ex.”

oh_k789 · Answer

Thus put, without any detail, I ask you, Asker: is yours a real question?

dustybiker · Answer

It would depend what he wants too. You’re only 1/2 a relationship.

Mangospacho · Answer

It’s really impossible unless the person is willing to get back with you. I’ve seen it done other ways but they usually ended up getting arrested.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Never go back to an ex. Guy or girl. But especially if you a guy.

ChattyGuy43 · Answer

My question to you is, Why do you want this person back. What was so big that you broke up with this person in the first place

Spiritofn · Answer

Tag a bronze medal in something quick as possible. If she don't come back her loss or she actually found soomeething better but unlikely.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I don't think you can. Once your uterus expels your ex every month, you can't get them back.

Shedzij567 · Answer

Get him to go to you, Be laying naked wide open

aquamarine321 · Answer

First the question is what happened between you and your ex would question if they would want to return into your life again for another regret

Surely · Answer

Depending on how badly you want him back. That is a call that only you need to make!  You sure that you really can’t do better?

Marklaw12 · Answer

Don't you even dare. He's your ex.  If he knows you're weak. He will continue to fuck with you cos he knows you will always come back.

Chris_u006 · Answer

Isn't an ex an ex for a reason? I need more context so I can grasp the situation from the perspective of both of you.

Arthurking2022 · Answer

You should never try! Never ever! Specially if they broke up with you! I did this mistake once and got f**ed even harder. Focus on yourself and your goals.

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

Why would you want to? They are usually an ex for a reason

genericname85 · Answer

you don't. there's a reason they're your ex and that doesn't just go away.

es20490446e · Answer

What kind of relationship do you expect to get from someone who doesn't want to be with you?

YHL6965 · Answer

Why would you want him back if things were bad enough that you had to break up in the first place?

Lkid23 · Answer

Just let it be for a while. If he comes back, then good otherwise move on. But I don’t understand why anyone wants their ex back.

Anonymous · Answer

Really? people don't do that anymore! Forcing situations never works. It will only make you both bitter.

Whatisthatname · Answer

Don't move backwards. They are an ex for a reason.

Twalli · Answer

Fix what you did wrong and prove to him you will be exactly he wants.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

You can't. It's over, he moved on and so should you.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not easy, you would have to prove yourself and do better than them to have any chance of them considering going back with you

Agape93 · Answer

You look for your ex in between W and Y

JesseJayNeak · Answer

What did you do to make him want to break up with you?

Anonymous · Answer

You can't, sorry but you had your chance and blew it, time to cut your loss and move on.

Guy13 · Answer

You can’t…

bubblegunnn · Answer

Make him fall in love w u again

How can I get my ex back?

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