How can I prove to my boyfriend that I’m no longer bothered by his past?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend has a way more exciting dating history than I do and his most recent ex is still around (they work together). On the other hand, he is the second guy that I’ve ever been with and I’ve cut all contact with my ex.

This caused a lot of insecurity on my end, especially with his ex still around. I always feel like I’m in competition with his past. I stalk his exes, and get jealous if he brings up any of his exes. All this almost caused us to break up. I finally went to therapy for it and did the inner work, learned to not obsess over his past.

I feel so much at ease now on the inside. Buttt, he’s asking for concrete proof that I’m no longer obsessing over his past. How can I go about doing that?

[Anonymous]

You said that it's what caused a riff before, if you two never made up then I think the question is reasonable to ask. If he knows you went to therapy for it and you haven't brought it up since, I think he should trust you since you did the leg work already.

[Asker]

He knows that I went to therapy for it, but it’s only been less than a month. He said he wants concrete proof now, I don't know how to show him…

[Asker]

We’ve also had a lengthy discussion over it. I’ve explained to him what I learned about myself from therapy and my plan moving forward to keep myself from “reverting back”. But he said he wants proof through action.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like a miss match in response. I don't claim to know how you feel, but i wouldn't be happy if I admitted fault and worked on myself, and my partner doesn't trust the results.

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t understand what he means about wanting to see it in action, because I can’t show him my brain? Lol

[In_Trance]

You'd have to ask him to give you an idea of what suffices as concrete proof

[Asker]

He said he wanted to see me figure it out on my own 😅