Is there a specific timeline on when you should have moved on emotionally after a break up?

[Anonymous]

I keep getting told by people that I should have moved on by now Because it’s been seven months since it’s been over. Everyone’s been telling me to go out and date Have fun live in the moment But I just feel like I’m not ready to even meet guys right now. I feel like for my own sake if I were to just even hang out and have fun with another guy, I would only be thinking about my ex and wishing it was him. I’m not dwelling on it as much as I did before such as crying all the time, but for some reason, I think about him every day, no matter how much I’m working or how much I spend time with friends. I do get distracted when I’m out with friends and stuff and I don’t think about it as much, but when I come home, and I’m alone, I just still think about him

[Hardon-Collider]

Instead of running away from old feelings, hoping they'll get forgotten by building new ones, why not act to terminate them and experience some silence? ㅤ

[Asker]

That’s exactly what I said if you would read.

[Hardon-Collider]

You framed the silent state of being as an escape, rather than a solution.

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t think anything’s wrong with it. Or at least I alone myself think that

[Anonymous]

Sorry to say this, but you're over emotional and lost in bullshit. Get the fuck over him, and better yet, get the fuck over yourself. Life is passing you by and you're holding on to a DEAD FUCKING CORPSE. Yeah, get over it.

[Asker]

Dang

[Opinion Owner]

Were you looking for sympathy?

[Asker]

Opinions which I’m pretty sure it’s what this site is for. Sounds like you went through something pretty traumatic and you’re still left with anger and take it out on other people trust me I’ve been there before hope you feel better

[Opinion Owner]

Ummm, no... it's called "hard love". I've been where you are and it's a waste of life's energy. Once I go out of it, I found my partner whom I've had a great life with going on 12 years.

So it was one of two things: 1) He dumped you for someone else or just didn't want you anymore for whatever reasons. 2) Maybe he said he didn't want to be in any kind of relationship anymore at all and decided he wasn't "ready"? You didn't say why, you just said break up.

If it was #1), then you weren't right for him, and even though you thought it was right for you, it would eventually fall apart because he'd be looking to get out even if he stayed with you. So you can waste time lamenting " WHY wasn't I your one?", but that gets you nowhere. You just weren't, so you can accept that and look forward to finding someone who WILL think that of you, or be depressed about it. It's a choice.

If it was #2), then it could be just an excuse to avoid confronting you with #1, or it could be the truth. If it's the truth, you should be glad he bailed now because guys like that rarely grow up. At your age, you don't have time to wait.

When you're wallowing in it, you think you need way more time than you do to get out of it. If you spend some real time getting out of your own way, and think this through, your emotions will follow. Emotions follow thought, not the other way around.

The go out and have fun part won't work till you understand that YOU are in charge of your OWN fun, and not someone else. So if I seemed harsh, it's because it sounds like you need a slap of cold water and not more coddling. Don't worry about me, I'm doing great in my relationship. I'm not angry, and certainly wouldn't be at you. As I said, I've been there, and looking back, getting out of it was the BEST thing that could have happened!!

[Asker]

I wasn’t trying to be mean either! The thing is I felt everything you said. And I’m acutally happy you gave me a dose of truth!

[Opinion Owner]

Well great! Remember the words of the great Betty White:
" The best way to get over a man is to under a new one".

[Anonymous]

At least you're not like me. Still friends with my ex and having sex with him from time to time. I feel like I'm in limbo. At least you have a better chance of moving on. I think I never will. It's going on two years.

[Asker]

TRUST ME! I was there before this ex of mine. I just couldn’t let go. But the more I reminded myself that he probably is probably sleeping with other girls as well that’s when I stopped. Once I stopped he came running back and I just ignored. He still tries from time to time but I feel better now he isn’t in my life. I’m acutally not attracted to him anymore. Physically and emotionally.

[Opinion Owner]

I know for a fact that he's not doing that. At least not right now. He's too busy dealing with family stuff and work. But if I get a whiff of him maybe possibly sleeping with other other girls, I will stop and move on.

[HollyK21]

Healing isn’t a linear experience, so go at your own pace.

[queenofcardio]

Some people get over their ex's faster especially if the relationship wasn't great so sometimes they expect similar timelines with other people. Go at your own pace. Whatever works for you. Everyone handles breakups differently.

[LiamS95]

It's s personal matter I found my fiance in my bed with some random guy. five years ago but haven't been with a woman since.

[Alex-Snow]

It is different for everyone but after 7 months I say go for it.

[CuriousMufuxka]

I've rode things on farther than I should have, even when logic was like "Listen dummy, time to go!" I just didn't want to give up..

[Anonymous]

Nope. It'll take the length of time it takes.