I 27(F) have been with my 27(M) boyfriend for 2 years. I had an extremely traumatic upbringing broken family people in & out and he had normal family good upbringing. We practically were living together (in a house he rents from his mom) for a year. He's never had a girlfriend before & is extremely inexperienced so long story short it got the best of us. We were fighting a lot & he believes couples should never fight (he doesn't understand women have hormones either). He could never let go of a small argument he would drag it out for weeks & we kept fighting over the same things that wouldn't get resolved. I am ready for marriage & children. Even though I think he's ready, he wants to wait til 30's he is holding onto his youth (still goes to parents for dinner every night). We took a break for a month in Oct & he came begging for me back. now he wants a break again. My grandma just passed away & I am going through a lot of hard stuff. So he has been spending a few hours with me after work to comfort me but he cuddles & acts like were still together but he said he's just trying to be there for me cause I'm going through a hard time he doesn't want to be together right now. It's made it very confusing for me so I removed all of my stuff from his house. I texted him this & this was the response. I really think he just needs a push somehow to take the leap into becoming a real adult. Should I remain silent or respond with this:
For me, it needs to be all or nothing because I can’t keep having people in and out of my life. I need someone who can love me completely and fully, through the good and the bad. It hurts too much for me to stay in a relationship where I don’t feel fully loved and secure. I need stability. I want a home and a family, and I wanted that with you. But I don’t think you’re ready for that right now, and unfortunately I can’t keep waiting for something you’re not ready to give me. I care about you deeply, but I have to choose what I need for myself.
For me, it needs to be all or nothing because I can’t keep having people in and out of my life. I need someone who can love me completely and fully, through the good and the bad. It hurts too much for me to stay in a relationship where I don’t feel fully loved and secure. I need stability. I want a home and a family, and I wanted that with you. But I don’t think you’re ready for that right now, and unfortunately I can’t keep waiting for something you’re not ready to give me. I care about you deeply, but I have to choose what I need for myself.
Updates
1 d
What I originally sent:
I’ll need to plan a day to get my vanity, so if you can pack up anything I may have missed that would be great. Thank you for everything. I hope you find what you’re looking for and I wish you nothing but the best.
I’ll need to plan a day to get my vanity, so if you can pack up anything I may have missed that would be great. Thank you for everything. I hope you find what you’re looking for and I wish you nothing but the best.
Updates
1 d
His response:
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing u know. I know things are pretty tough for you and I do want to be there to help you where I can. If that just makes things worse then I guess I understand but I just don’t want you to feel like you are alone to deal with everything. Despite everything that’s happened and where we stand with everything I do still care a lot about you and want you to be happy and to not constantly be stressed about every aspect of life
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing u know. I know things are pretty tough for you and I do want to be there to help you where I can. If that just makes things worse then I guess I understand but I just don’t want you to feel like you are alone to deal with everything. Despite everything that’s happened and where we stand with everything I do still care a lot about you and want you to be happy and to not constantly be stressed about every aspect of life
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2Opinion
I don’t think important conversations like that should be had over text messages at all.
He's not emotionally mature enough to be in a successful relationship.
You don't need a reason to end a relationship, you need reasons to continue.
He seems to want to be there as a friend for you, but not what you want. I suggest you move on and continue your search for someone who wants the same things you do.
How does he look
Nope