Was this text to my boyfriend too much or was it well deserved?

[Anonymous]

He ruined my day after I spent the day getting ready to look good for him and dress up for him to give him sex. He ruined my day because he started questioning the whole relationship because of my religious beliefs and I was left alone at home that day to cry all night meanwhile he went to his house. I texted him this “ Don’t try to tell me that you weren’t thinking about breaking up you even told me to give you space to think about things I swear I might seem soft to you but if you keep on hurting me and disappointing me over and over again I will get my ass up and leave I’m not going to settle for that. Get your shit together It’s so easy for you to bust a nut and then later question the whole relationship and leave me alone right? Don’t ever put me in a position where I have to beg you again. I swear if you ever hurt me this way again you could go fuck yourself. I’m not going to let you be the reason why I lose my smile. “ This was the firmest thing that I have ever texted him I’m usually always sweet and only get sad rarely angry but I’m done with this man making me cry. If we didn’t have years of history I wouldn’t have stayed and if he didn’t promise to marry me but he’s been making me feel deeply hurt over and over again and I’ve been trying to talk to him but he kind of never learns.

Updates

+1 y

He just texted me “thanks”

[VIVANT]

Long time coming. That felt good down to my soul. If it seems too much it’s only bc it wasn’t said sooner. Every but if what you said was spot on snd needed to be said. If he is the man he claims to be he will take this time abs seriously self reflect. I’m sorry you had to get to the point bc he insisted on igniting every time. Once in a while hard things need be said. The fact you’ve held it in so long we know you are thoughtful and not impulsive but you’re right you’re much stronger than he seems to have calculated.

I hope he comes through and is as good as he purported. This needed to be done bc you all debt start a life together without honesty. Or walking in egg shells. Well done. Be proud 🥲

Also in case anyone try’s to spin this into I’m supporting you bc you’re a woman and women get away with anything in relationship _ bullshit. I’d say this to any gender. Whether he was a man a woman or a monkey 🙈

[Asker]

Thank you for answering 🤍 I think that he’s thinking about it or didn’t like what I said at all because he said that he was logging off for the night at 6PM. Knowing him he’ll probably give me the silent treatment tomorrow or something like that. He’s not going to be as happy when he sees me but he’s the one that ruined my Christmas and left me feeling crushed and confused when he’s supposed to be my best friend. Before this he had told me that he’s sorry and that he’ll give me anything that I want but I was still upset and wrote a lot because I mean I spent the whole night crying not being able to sleep I was that hurt and it was the second time of the week that he hurt me.

[Asker]

He was also acting cold towards me the week that we were alone in my house together because my dog wouldn’t let him sleep and he was blaming me for that and when I would talk to him he would shrug and stuff he apologized to me after too.

[VIVANT]

I’m really sorry your Christmas was totally ruined I know you were doing everything you could to make it joyful as you always do and he needs to recognize that. There www rally no way a round this bc absolutely All you said was true and he can’t hear things when it’s said sweetly apparently. I hope he wakes up. But I also hope you don’t refer being honest. Bc you’re right there are 100 ways he could’ve addressed the situation and WAY before now and he chose the most dismissive lazy and self centered avenue he could possibly find.

People who e their low moments it doesn’t risk he’s irredeemable this is about how important I think it was that you spoke your truth bc it sets up a precedent that people can’t manipulate you. It needed to be said and you showed in my opinion a lot of courage in doing so.

Merry Christmas, you’re a beautiful person inside and out , that’s powerful, and it will grow stronger in love. You will feel it 💕

[Asker]

That was our first week alone and a sneak peak of us living together and I was so disappointed.

[Asker]

Thank you I’m nto trying to be stereotypical but men suck even the good ones :,( thank you 🤍merry Christmas to you too 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[VIVANT]

I hadn’t seen your reply when I wrote avian so now I’ve read it wow I can’t believe that was your diet week together by the way how did you swing that? 😂

But yea it’s very different than meeting up that mistype been really Intersting tho

I’m sorry he’s not evil but he’s just so self centered he can’t seem to get how terrible sone of the stuff he does is. I will see how his wore at raised him its harder to work things out I think with only children bc I’m a sense they are the entire world I’m their home

[Asker]

The cuddles were nice and we shared some nice moments. I found it a bit disappointing because he wasn’t really sleeping and my dog was being annoying lol I was doing everything that I could to get my dog to relax but he kept on being irritated like I changed rooms amd everything. after like day 4 he started leaving at the middle of the night saying “this is bullshit” and our last day together he trued to leave early to his house so that he could sleep and i got all sad and cried because he was kind if blaming me for the dog and I wasn’t getting much sleep either with a really bad headache and he wasn’t even asking me if I was okay he was being kind of cold. This might sound stupid but I was also disappointed that he didn’t try to make me breakfast or anything and when I tried to ask him why he said that he didn’t because he wanted to sleep more. But what he did to me on Christmas was the most hurtful thing I think. I cry when he’s cold towards me and stuff but this was way worse than that.

[slatyb]

"He ruined my day because he started questioning the whole relationship because of my religious beliefs and I was left alone at home that day to cry all night meanwhile he went to his house."

He's clearly not the man for you. End this and find someone who is totally accepting.

Famous quote from Juno: "Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

[Asker]

He didn’t break up with me. He told me that he just didn’t know how to communicate and that he’s sorry and now he’s trying to make it up to me. I’m still quite shocked and hurt. That day he didn’t directly say that he wanted to break up with me I just asked him “ are you questioning our whole relationship now?” And he didn’t answer me I kept on staring at him and he said “I need time to think” he later told me that he was never trying ti break up with me and that it was a miscommunication and he didn’t know what to say. He’s the only guy that has promised to marry me. I don’t know how to feel it’s been almost 3 years and we’re supposed to get married in a year I have no friends to hang out with just him.

[Asker]

I felt so ashamed after words and he was the only person that I trusted to tell my faith because everyone else judges me.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Religion... always that one thing that causes trouble in the world.

Well is it in your case really an issue? Like do have to confess to a priest if you have sex or so?

[Asker]

No I’m not Christian but he is I believe in God and im a different religion but I’m not religious and im very open minded.

[Asker]

He says he doesn’t want our children to be confused but I told him that I’m fine with them being Christian

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I think thats an extremly superficial reason. I dunno, in my area religion is really of no importance. So its really just him being a bit too conservative and worrying about trivial stuff

[ZackBan]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with your message.
You are clearly dealing with a user who only likes things when they're going his way.
You can never trust someone like that.
If you feel you need to threaten a breakup and he's asking for "space" that's a sign that you should be breaking up.

Don't wait for the next time he hurts you because that is coming for sure. End it now on your own terms.

[Asker]

Welp he said that he wasn’t trying to breakup and just didn’t know how to communicate. The first time I asked him if he wanted to break up he said no and cuddled me and then when I asked him if he was questioning the whole relationship he said nothing and that’s why I thought he wanted to break up with me and because he said that he needed time. He said that he was thinking about what to say and he didn’t know what to say and that’s why he didn’t answer me

[Keyboardkat]

He forgot the second part. "Thanks, I needed that." If he means it, it might show he's man enough to admit he was wrong. But I'd want to see a little more than just "Thanks."

[Asker]

It was the worst Christmas in my life. :( I’m still crushed about it

[Asker]

I won’t text him anymore for today. To make things worse Christmas was my favorite holiday and I didn’t have family or anything at home and he just left me there. He said that he never wanted to break up and we’re not broken up but he did seem to be questioning the whole relationship

[Xepshunall]

From the details of your text, you could have easily shortened it to something like, "I'm fed up with your shit! If you left anything at my place, come get it and make your way out of my life".

[Aakash_Hangargi]

What was he upset initially about , the statements which you have given is solely how you feel about it.

But what really happened?

[Asker]

There’s no point of explaining if you don’t seem to believe me.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I prefer to be objective and look at both sides because people are clouded by their own judgements or visibility and they cannot outlook it.

So you need someone that could help you both and not just take your side and nod head to all what you say 🙃.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

If you write here people will just console you and say you are right or just say break up and move on nobody will bother to mend things it's on you really how you handle

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's sorry he hurt you and upset you

[Guardian45]

DTMFer!