Why did he suddenly turn into a jerk?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up a few months ago and recently we have been re-introduced into each others lives. Our lives overlap constantly now with family, friends, and our jobs. Lately people have been approaching me about a huge change in my ex's behavior. The once sweet and funny guy has turned into a huge jerk. What happened? Apparently its been going on for awhile and I don't feel like talking to him about it would do anyone any good.

What would because him to pull a Jekyll and Hyde and act like a total douche bag to everyone he knows. Even his friends have commented on his out of character behavior to me. I'm just curious and any insight would be appreciated!

[tehdrummer]

He's not over the break up. Did you give a solid reason as to why you ended the relationship? He feels you didn't break up with him correctly, since you probably didn't. You broke his heart, only reason I think I'D do it, but take that into consideration, it's just s possibility.

[Asker]

I tried my best to explain things and then later on to fix things but it didn't work. Neither of us were ready to be in a relationship and it just didn't work. I tried my hardest though and he's the one that decided it wasn't worth trying to fix. We didn't end on very good terms but I feel like he knows why things didn't work out. I could understand him being a jerk to me but not to everyone else.

[internet_guy]

He took the break up in hard way,guys have hearts too and if someone break it they gonna go into self destruct mode

[Asker]

Can anything be done? I took the break-up really hard myself and I tried my best to fix/salvage anything I could between the two of us but he wanted nothing to do with me. I literally gave him everything I had and tried so hard to fix things. Why would he be reacting this way then if this is what he wanted? He wanted nothing to do with me and so we aren't part of each others lives.

[AbsoluteCutie]

Sometimes guys say and do stupid things and they don't always know what they REALLY want. The only thing you can do is pray that it works out, or try to get him to open up maybe not to you but to a friend, or someone he can trust to keep his problems confidential.

[Asker]

People have tried talking to him but nothing works...thats why they have been coming to me lately hoping that I can shed some insight or get through to him. I know that I could but that he doesn't want to talk to me and I'll respect that. I don't understand why he'd be so torn up when this is how he wanted things to be. Doing nothing doesn't solve anything so why would he continue to do that?

[AbsoluteCutie]

Maybe he's hurting and hasn't dealt with his feelings yet, that sort of thing can be pretty poisonour for a person. So, he better get to working on getting himself in order, or his life and other relationships may suffer.

[Asker]

I feel like that's a huge part of it because the timing has to be more than coincidental. I hope he deals with things. I just don't understand why he would be so torn up when this was what he wanted...

[madmisskelly]

Who knows, only he knows. However, you can't get someone to change, especially not a whole personality overhaul. I would say your best bet is to just steer clear and let him work it out on his own.

[Asker]

I'm not trying to get him to change. merely trying to understand what caused this change. I will always care about him and I'm just curious as to what other people may think caused this change.

[madmisskelly]

Yeah, but that's something only he knows. It could be he's torn up over the breakup andit could be something totally unrelated.

[guy532]

maybe he's still upset about your breakup?

[Asker]

Its a possibility but I've tried to talk to him about it and so have other people. Neither of us were ready to be in a relationship and it just didn't work. We ended on pretty bad terms because I tried to fix things and he didn't think it was worth fixing. He's had a complete personality overhaul though and numerous people have commented on it.