Running into the ex that you dumped?

[Anonymous]

I ran into my ex boyfriend for the first time the other day, and while it wasn't my favorite part of my day and was awkward, He didn't look very thrilled either, which made we start wondering what it feels like to see the person you broke up with. I don't mean those angry, hate-filled drama breakups, but the one (like ours) where one of you just falls out of it and ends it. If you don't hate your ex, what does it feel like when you see them after dumping them? Please don't say you don't feel anything because it was obvious neither of us was comfortable, even if for different reasons-thanks!

Updates

+1 y

I should have added that he was the dumper, which is why I'm curious to know how it feels to be the dumper and see an ex.

[mick25]

Hey

Irrelevant of the situation, should a breakup occur then you run into them sometime afterward it usually is quite awkward. It can be awkward for any number of individual reasons but the fact of the matter remains at one point you loved that person, you shared a lot with them and then all of a sudden its gone. And typically just when you think you're starting to make peace with the situation you see them and in an instant, it can feel like the last day, month week or even year (of course the time line is dependant upon varying factors) it can almost feel like you have been set back to square one in an instant. You are no longer comfortable in your surroundings and you don't know how to act or what to say... It can be an unpleasant moment at the best of times.

I can say from fresh experience (no more than 24 hours ago) my heart skipped a beat and I felt myself get somewhat anxious and 'on edge'. Briefly, my situation incorporates a stupid mistake on my part - getting involved with a colleague, then having see the person at work. She ended it... then made an assumption that I had gone to see one of my ex's (which didn't happen) and then because of that she stated that I have no chance of getting her back. I in return advised that if she thinks that low of me to do such a thing I wasn't interested in having her back. Despite missing her like crazy. Anyways I have been fortunate enough to be able to roster myself at a time where she won't be in the office but last night that fell by the way side. I saw her as I was chatting to a few work mates. I didn't want it to be obvious so I just kept laughing and joking with my work mates and pretended like I didn't see her. I saw in my peripheral vision that she tried to do the same thing, but then quick as a flash she got up and darted out of sight. I know her well enough to know that she was battling to maintain her composure and I will be honest so was I. Inside I was going nuts but I dug deep and maintained my composure and continued the conversation. But dared not leave the area I was in as I would have had to cross paths with her. So I stayed there talking about crap until she left... felt like an eternity! lol

I know this sounds rather inwardly focussed given that this is to answer your question and all I have really done is focus on my situation. But I feel that by describing my situation it is the best way to give you an answer from a males perspective. Also acknowledging not all males are the same.

To be honest I also forced myself to be in the situation as a means to try and help desensitise myself to her. Bloody hard and it hurt for a fair while but to be honest I think it worked as I feel a lot better today than I have in about 3 weeks.

This situation could also be very different to yours as you said that your ex ended as his feelings had changed where evidently mine haven't... just putting up a front. Either way - no one feels comfortable. Just depends on the circumstances

[Zimbo113]

Oh man I have some stories about running into my ex after we broke up. I still liked her, there was just so much going on. She told her friends some twisted story, about me being really controlling and a horrible guy I guess to validate the breakup and help her move on. So I ran into her and her friends one day, and you know what happened?

I got cornered by her friends and they were shouted accusations for some random things that I apparently did haha. They pushed my ex to the side and told her they would deal with it. As I was leaving, I exchanged glances with her and I had a rather blank stare while she looked a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable.

[Zimbo113]

Well she dumped me and we got back together 3 months later and I picked her brain, if you are interested in hearing that xD

[embemm99]

I find it weird. When I broke up with my boyfriend and he sent me all the I still love you stuff, and then I ran into him I would feel guilty and I would try to be friendly but at the same time I didn't want him to think I wanted him back so it was awkward because I still cared for him but cared enough not to lead him on.

(that was my not lastest ex)

My lastest ex broke up with me a year ago and he is a hard person to pick because he doesn't talk as much as most people. But I felt like if we ran into each other straight after the breakup we just said hello and it was awkward but it got to a phase where he looked sad to see me happy. (We had mutual friends and would be at the same club for a birthday) and he would find a girl dance with her and keep looking over and if I was near by him he would make a point of talking loudly about something great. Its like he felt he lost the breakup because I was happy.

These are just my exs but I generally think if you just act happy when you see them its the best way to be.

[Anonymous]

I just feel weird. Sometimes I see him its like him again and its just sad.