Why would she want closure?

[Anonymous]

Why would a girl want closure if she already has a new guy?

The girl I was dating and living with developed a relationship with a new guy. She eventually lied to me and I found out she was hanging out with him while I was at work. I left her. Now she wants closure? I know they are still hanging out and texting, but why does she need closure when she already has another guy?

Part of me thinks she feels like a douche bag and wants to talk just so she can find something to make herself feel better and make me look like the bad guy.

[LynnOfTheHeart]

That's exactly what it is, she is feeling really guilty and wants to make herself and you feel better. What she did was beyond low, a woman should be woman enough to tell a man she no longer has feelings for him, I'm sorry that has happened to you. This bothers you, the fact that she wants to talk and I can see why, so maybe you should, this would also be good closure for you.

[LynnOfTheHeart]

Maybe seeing the kind of woman she really was will help you cut ties on a deeper level.

[Asker]

I don't know if I need closure. I knew her relationship with him was growing into something. I even mentioned it to her a few weeks back. I told her that I see they are becoming closer and closer. She still told me she loved me and all that... all words and no actions. eventually I was at work and found out she was at a bar with him for four hours drinking.

[LynnOfTheHeart]

Well, I don't know how right I am, but I do know it seems to me you still care for her, or at least feel something for her because your wondering about her angle on wanting to talk to you, and wondering why she would need closure, if you do still care, and wondering about her methods, you may need closure, I could be wrong, I'm not actually getting to talk to you in person, but sometimes the hardest thing to let go of is a memory and not the person themselves.

[Asker]

I don't want to talk to her because it is all drama. all she wants to do is justify herself so she feels better. No one wants to tell their next boyfriend/girlfriend... "My ex left me because I was cheating on him"

[LynnOfTheHeart]

Then you have answered your own question. Keep away and don't give her that closure, sometimes the best lessons learned in life is having to face the repercussions of your own actions.

[dominatingkelly]

she probably feels really guilty, and yea, would like to properly tie up any loose ends so that whatever you guys had together doesn't end on a bad note. often I find myself and friends regretting and admitting we were total bitches to a guy, but nevertheless we like to officially end things on as good grounds as possible.

[Asker]

have you done this before to a guy? it hurts feeling like she found something better. I know I left her, so I should have some dignity but I don't feel like she is hurting.

[dominatingkelly]

yea, I have. we weren't official or anything so it wasn't technically wrong but I know that had I been in his shoes, I would've been hurt so I got together with him to talk it out, even though I knew it was pretty much over.

[Asker]

but its not like she even shows any remorse for doing what she did.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea. Closure is when a relationship ends.

[Asker]

the relationship did end. I left her because she was ditching me to hangout with another guy and get drunk. So she found someone new... she doesn't love me anymore.. but she wants closure... why?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she feels guilty. You should just ignore her and move on.

[Anonymous]

Plain & simple, tell her to F***-off, & the only closure that is needed is the closure of her mouth! Some have all the nerve. She only wants to feel better & to justify her being a POS for what she did to you, nothing more. Don't give her anything.

[yopyopyop]

You're probably right. She probably wants to justify (if not rationalize) her behavior .

If you don't have anything to tell her, just ignore her.