I feel odd knowing my boyfriend has his ex's drawing on his wall.

[Anonymous]

I know, this must sound terribly stupid and childish. But I wonder if this is normal. My boyfriend has a drawing (I'd say 25 inch x 20 inch) his ex girlfriend gave him like 5 or 6 years ago. It's the drawing of a wolf, since he likes them, and has her signature in a corner. it hangs right above his bed. There was a season in which I went to his house and hung out in his room a lot and it made me feel uncomfortable looking at that.

Now, his ex has caused a lot of troubles between us. She has intruded in the relationship, she doesn't want to meet me, though she likes seeing him with any excuse. They were together for nearly 3 years and broke up almost three years and a half ago. I feel that if we are ever to live together. Bringing that piece of memorabilia would be unacceptable!

I guess my question is, would you keep a gift like that on your wall from an ex, knowing that your present girlfriend visits you and that you've even had relationship issues concerning her?

[HandsomeRaj]

1. If I were in your place no I'd not flutter an eyelid

2. If I feel uncomfortable for any reason, I'd talk it out and also provide pointers (objective - not insecurity based) on the what and why

3. If she's been the reason for causing fights between both of you, I wonder how and why

4. If she still has a say in his relationship with you what 'break up' have they had

5. If she still has a say in your relationship, you should sort that out first

6. In this case it seems he may have some not only emotional but also sentimental attachment to her.

7. Sort it out first the painting staying or going will be symbolic of where you stand then (don't attack the topic of 'painting being removed' etc 1st)

I'm sorry I realize my answer may have been way beyond what's been asked, but couldn't bring about myself to stop :D

[Asker]

She haa caused some trouble because she looked for him a lot in previous months. She depended emotionally on him. she has some crisis and she called him many many times a day and it bothered me so much, since she knew he jad a new girlfriend. When he told her to stop her continuous communication she got pissed. She wants to remain friends with him but hates the idea of meeting me.

[HandsomeRaj]

her wanting to be friends with him while hating the idea of meeting you is a natural and understood thing.

This guy needs to eliminate her from his life if you guys need to have any comfort in your present situation leave alone thinking future.

U will know this has ended when he removes the painting without you saying so directly or indirectly

[aMuse]

Ah don't worry you're going to lose him anyway because your way too insecure. Enjoy the time you have left with him. You won't last the way you are acting.

[onemoreplease]

Hmmm... that is pretty weird. And if I were in your situation, I would want my boyfriend to get rid of his ex's damn wolf art. Have you ever asked him to take it down, or at least put it somewhere besides the bedroom? Maybe he doesn't even notice it anymore... paintings and wall colors tend to just become "background noise" to the people who see it on a daily basis.

Even if he doesn't want to take it down now (or if you're not comfortable asking him to,) it would be REALLY inappropriate for him to bring it to your new place if you move in together, in my opinion.

[Ashley8282]

The painting is not the problem its the fact that you have been trying to get this girl out of your lives and you assoicate her with the painting and she is a constant reminder.

Honestly its just a painting. Many men and women keep things like that. I have a pic that my ex drew of my sister and I in my place and its not a problem.

You need to let go. You hounding him or bringing up the painting does more damage than goood.

[aMuse]

Yep

[Asker]

Actually I've never said anything about the drawing to him. it's something I feel, but I've never talked about it with him. But to think of having that piece in the bedroom I sleep in is not good. I wouldn't allow it.

[Ashley8282]

Well you might have to allow it or get a new boyfriend. Talk to him about and see if he can do something about it. If he doesn't want to get rid of it than maybe he'll move it to another room

[greenleaf555]

He probably just likes the drawing and doesn't attach any sentimental value to it. It sounds like he's moved on but she hasn't. Either way, it isn't his fault. Its just a painting of a wolf. If it were a lifesize nude photo of his ex-girlfriend then you can take issue with that otherwise let him be.