Ex-boyfriend. I just want to grab him and kiss him and give him a big hug one day when it's just us 2 at work.

[sunshine87]

So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago. We have dated over 3 years..extremely close, best friends..each others first real relationship, talked about getting married next year and everything. He started seeing someone right away after the break up and I believe he is now living with her. We work together at the same place, in an office, and some days we work together he comes up with every excuse to talk to me, and then last night, I saw him for a couple of minutes and he looked absolutely miserable! He looked so sad. Shouldn't he want to act "happy" around me!? I don't understand, I just act like myself and professional. Another worker saw him an hour later after I left and she texted me and said, wow he isn't acting like himself and looked really sad. Please interpret his behavior?! He knows exactly how I feel, I love him so much, more than anything, and he loves me. We broke up because he said we were in different spots in our lives? Huh? I want him back so bad, and I just want to grab him and kiss him and give him a big hug one day when it's just us 2 at work, but he's got a new "girlfriend" so that wouldn't be a good idea! Please let me know what I should do. We have gone 2 weeks with no contact..other than small talk at work.

[plz22]

Eeek..

Different spots in your lives... That is a very rough one..

I broke up my my ex about a year ago.. The reason: she insisted we were in different spots in our lives. (She is starting her career and I have 2 years of school left).

I did every possible thing to get back with her. She acknowledged that we had a fantastic relationship, she was very attracted to me, we connected so perfectly, yet we broke up.. She would not get back with me, no matter what I did. She just wanted to move along with her life, and I was going to hold her back as long as I was still in school. It was extremely rough, I still can't help but have feelings about her, even a year later and she is dating other guys...

In all honesty, I would ask him straight out what is going on. You already have the relationship established, so you should be able to ask him as long as you feel you can communicate with him effectively.

If he is being sketchy like he doesn't know, or decides to "kindof" start seeing you again, I would steer clear of that relationship.

My personal experience in your position: After I broke up with my ex, we still got together and watched movies, slept together (with and without activiy), talked on the phone almost every night etc. I was doing my best to keep her interested in me.. I really enjoyed that extra time I spent with her, even as we were officially not together... Here's that bad part. That extra time just led me to have deeper feelings for her, and become more convinced I could get her back. Eventually I moved away to go to a different college and she started dating other men.

It has been so incredibly hard for me to get over her. We had a very unique and fulfilling bond.

If I could go back, I would have stopped seeing her after we broke up. It all just made for more pain and heartache later on.

In your position, like I said, I think you should ask him straight out what's going on. If you get onto a path that sounds like what I did, I'd advise you to demand your ex to clearly define the parameters of your relationship. Does he want to be with you? Does he want to date other women? You have to find these things out or you might end up torturing yourself like I have been.

I don't want to make it seem negative for you, but I'll try to honestly interpret his behavior.

He may be acting that way because he dumped you for someone else, then realized the new person wasn't as great as he thought. Now he feels like an idiot, especially having to be around you frequently at work. It seems like he may want you back, but I'd be cautious. If I dumped a long time girlfriend for a new one and it didn't work, I might go crawling back to my ex too.

Just be smart and don't let him crawl back to you unless you are absolutely certain he genuinely wants you, and only you. Stay alert and if he shows signs that he is just using you for comfort, then make it clear to him, it's you and only you, or it's the highway.

Hope this helps. :)

[sunshine87]

Well after 3 months..he started contacting me!! We got back together and he apoligized forever and said he was an ass..and all that. He's the perfect one for me. He was even better of a boyfriend this time around. So 3 days ago..after about a month of being back together, he said he just wants to be friends because he is moving to Illinois for school. He has a lot going on right now and I'm just going to give him his space. He loves me and says we have so much fun together.

[random255]

Its very possible he's acting sad so as to try to spare your feelings, maybe he doesn't want to rub things in.

"He knows exactly how I feel, I love him so much, more than anything, and he loves me. "

He doesn't love you. Not in the way a lover does. He broke up with you, dated another, and moved in with her. They're having sex. Think about that fact, instead of the slightly mangled version of reality you find when you're at work with him.

A breakup is hard when both people have to see one another all the time. Lease, job, children, lawyers, whatever brings the two together, it isn't easy. Honestly, you might seek a new job. You'll want to take whatever steps you can to move on. Don't hold out for a guy that left you for another woman.

[Anonymous]

He might just have problems with his current girlfriend now, who knows why he's sad. It can be plenty of reasons why. You two are over and if he really wants you back, he will try his hardest to get you back, trust me on that. But if you want, you can just say hi at work, how are you kinda stuff. But do it once only.

[thatssotera]

So he loves you but he doesn't want to get married. I don't see anything wrong with that except if you really want to get married. That's pretty weird that he immediately went and lived with some other girl. Why would he do that? (Was he having an affair with her or something?)

[sunshine87]

I found out he's not living with this new girl. No I know for a fact they have only known each other since the semester started so basically since februrary. He's moving out of state in july to continue his school, so maybe its stress related? why wouldn't he act happy around me though? I would think he would show me he's moved on by being happy? I don't know I'm trying to move on, I can't wait around forever, but I love him so much! I want to spend the rest of my life with this man.

[thatssotera]

If he's moving for school, maybe he's worried that he can't start a new sort of life there if he takes you with him. He'll want to spend his time getting settled. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants you back after he moves. Some people have a lot of anxiety about things like that. I would say it has to be stress related, no matter what. You care about him, and I wouldn't be surprised if he goes back to you after he moves.

[sunshine87]

When we were together he told me to find a job where he was going and I did, well I got an awesome job and told him I was taking it even though we broke up. Yesterday he asked my friend if she knew what I was doing after I graduate, if I was staying here or going somewhere. She said that she wasn't sure, and that she didn't talk to me much, and he was like yeah me neither, but why is he asking about me? what does it matter!?

[thatssotera]

I want to know what my exes are doing... But not all THAT bad that I would go ask their friends. I'm way past that... He's not over you. He might have second thoughts and ask for you back at some point. I don't think you're so over that he won't ever ask for you back. He's not over you.

[thatssotera]

He will probably never be over you... Truly over you. How could he be, if he's asking around about you and oh so curious about your life. LOL

Maybe you could make up some crazy stories about yourself to tell him. You're thinking of becoming a nun or something. LOL

[Jazzedup1989]

Move on girl... he's not worth it... He broke up with you and for a stupid reason. I hope this doesn't have to deal with sex. Because you can do soo much better! PLUS any guys an ass who breaks up with you for another girl. They're always the same and they never change.

[xoox16]

I wouldn't get my hopes up hoping he's misserable because of you. Talk to him, see why he's been upset. I'm not saying it couldn't be you, it just might, but on the other hand it could be the new girl. I do think it's very weird he immediately started dating her, but boys are boys. Good luck hun, and I hope you get what you want

:D

[Eamzy]

Make the effort to get past that small talk. He probably wants you to ask him about it because he isn't hiding it from you (unless he's really bad at hiding it). Either way you should talk to him about it because you do still care for him and even if it isn't the best thing to do to get back into your relationship then it's the best thing for him to happen and when you love someone you only want what's best for them don't you?

[introspective]

He had a bad day. Let it go and do not read into it what you want. It probably has nothing to do with you. If he wants you he will come to you. Don't chase after him. Start distancing yourself to be more alluring, that is more attractive.

[Eamzy]

Sorry but I would say it is in no way attractive to distance yourself from someone.... Too many girls believe that and I'm a guy so I can tell you that it really isn't true!

[roadkingp]

Thats cruel! What if he is a good guy and is needing an emotional support right now. Not all boys are players. Love doesn't have to follow rules or some website called "www.girlsaskguys.com".

But of course she has to be strong and test him if he is really genuine.

[MrNameless]

No.. being distant on purpose is counter productive.. That just shows a guy you DON'T want him, and it could work against you..

[SavannahBanana]

Try having a private conversation with him, if possible not at work.