I am now disillusioned with Asian girls. What should I do?

Question

Hi,

I am an Asian American guy. I recently moved to Washington, DC area from the South, and am shocked to see more than a half of the Asian girls here dating White guys and refusing to date Asian guys. I always knew Asian girls had White guy fantasy. But, I didn't know it was to this extent! 

I started researching more about this and have come across many posts like "Asian girls do whatever White guys want in bed with no question", or "Asian girls always go for White guys first, and if they fail, they settle for Asian guys", "Asian girls always talk shit about Asian guys", etc. My self-esteem is crushed. It's like being told by my own people that I am not good enough because I am Asian and not White.

I strongly prefer Asian girls, but, have dated interracially before (white, latina, and black). But, I never had this "White Trophy" mentality or self-hatred of being Asian.

My questions are:
1. Generally, what percentage of Asian American girls prefer white over Asian? In DC, I think it's about 50% or more.
2. Do Asian American girls think of Asian American guys as "fall back" or "safety" option?
3. I am feeling a little paranoid that Asian girls that I meet will have this "White trophy" mentality. It's like I can't see them the same way anymore. Also, I don't want to date White girls anymore, because I don't want to add to this "White is the best" phenomenon amongst Asians. I don't need a white girlfriend to validate me or feel more "American". 
Did seeing all these Asian girls flocking to whites change any dating pattern/behavior for any Asian guys?

Thanks for your honest opinion

cavmanier · Accepted Answer

That's interesting you feel this sense of obligation from "your people." It sounds like a big issue you have going on is you feel competitive with white men. You think they are trying to be better than you. Most of these guys just want to date someone they are attracted to. Do you think that's wrong? This competition thing is in your head though I think. Just date HUMANS you're attracted to. Does it really matter if x amount of white guys date Asian girls? Aren't you going to end up with only one anyway? Do you see what I'm saying? You're worried about a competition you've made up on top of the insecurities you have that are being projected to this competition with whites. White guys aren't the issue.

AndyWes · Accepted Answer

Keep in mind, most sources agree that dating in DC is utterly horrid.

And if I remember the stats, yeah, a large minority of Asian women marry white men... it could be in part due to culture differences. White guys are usually a bit more aggressive in dating than Asian guys are, I hear.

COCOCHANEL · Accepted Answer

i don't know about washington dc but i think you should work on your appearance and try to find different environments to meet girls.

i'm a japanese & caucasian girl born and raised in the states and as of yet i've never been attracted to caucasians/blacks/latins/arabs/etc.
they approach me and i'm ok with being friends (sometimes) but i haven't found any of them hot.

i have carefully selected my lovers and each and every one of them has been japanese and very cute. i am still living in japan primarily for this reason.

it's not about race, it's about who i am physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Im Asian American and every Asian chick is different. There's plenty of Asian girls out there that only date Asian._. Maybe try not to read the Internet too much of us Asian American girls, we can date whoever we want, and just stop complaining and actually go out there and get one. I don't know you or ur background. But if u dont have confidence or just too cocky and can't get chicks that maybe ur reason.

Estaroze · Accepted Answer

With all my respect, honey, I think what you mentioned sounds just so racism.
Asian girls' preference is not up to the color. It's generally up to more general things: Good looking, Respectful personality, Being wealthy, etc..
However, I'll admit that most of Asian girls tend to avoid African American because they tend to have scary images

Envieus · Accepted Answer

i live in Australia and i rarely see Asian girls with white guys, more so Asian girls with Asian guys. This doesn't really answer your question but maybe its just the area you live in. Could just be the trend there. Or maybe it could be something to do with the question i just posted? Good luck

ChelsiChu · Answer

I'm going to be completley honest, I personally don't think it's fair to say Asian girls have a white guy mentality. I personally don't mind race at all. If he's a cute guy and he's smart, I'll go out with him. It's that simple. I guess the only real explanation would be that you were a little late to the game.

Anonymous · Answer

I am sorry you are trapped by your racist thinking. Its understandable that you would want someone that looks like your mother or other family (psychology says why) but to feel entitled to woman or reject a woman based solely on skin color/ethnicity is disgusting. Either skin color matters to your treatment of people (and you are racist) or it doesn't (and you are a decent person). A decent person knows it is what's inside that matters. If you are looking for a racist you don't have to look far in society as they come in all shades, but if you want a decent person you've got to stop looking on the outside.

LookatDuhDonkay · Answer

I don't really have a solution for your problem but all I can say is that I'm not even Asian and I feel your pain my brother. I can't help but feel that Asian women have some serious inferiority complexes when it comes to their own background and Asian men catch the flack for it.

averyyv · Answer

Hi, I’m East Asian myself and I’m strongly attracted to Asians, and have only dated them. My Asian friends ( female) also tell me that they have a strong preference for Asian guys, and we’re all well-educated and pretty good-looking. To us, the stereotype of Asian girls having white fever is very silly lol. Also, not to brag or anything but many guys tell me that I have a cute face and petite, so it’s not like guys from other races don’t like me and I see Asian guys as a fall back/ safety option. But maybe that’s because I grow up in the East and just came to the US for boarding school. I do notice that Asian girls who’s born and raised here often date white guys. But yeah, there are plenty of Asian girls who prefer to date in their own race. So good luck!!

zagor · Answer

You should go for whatever you're attracted to; I've dated several Asian girls ( I tend to like slender girls with long dark hair regardless of race) but I've never gotten the feeling that they only dated me because I'm white. Perhaps some Asian girls have stereotypes about white men like the ones you mention above about Asian girls.

markscott · Answer

I have some female friends who are Asian. Some of them don't want to date an Asia, because they find them too controlling, like in the family structure in Asia. The women don't like being in a subservient role.

Cutiesinooyer · Answer

hey it's the same for black girls. the media makes these stereotypes to oversexualise people the opposite sex find attractive like white girls so they can get black men and white men so they can get Asian girls but demonize their counterparts for the sake of jealousy or just childish behaviour

Pattypatoots · Answer

I'm half Asian and half white so you could say im a by-product of this phenomenon and honestly it's just about preference and i'm sure that there are a number of Asian women who would go for for an Asian guy :)

Anonymous · Answer

As an Asian girl myself, I'm sorry to say this, but I dont find Asian men attractive at all. I usually go for White men cause they are much better in shape and look wise. It goes the same for Asian men I think.

Katanaaa · Answer

I'm an Asian Asian girl, but I'd I live in an area with MANY white people. I'm more attracted to other's of Asian decent, since it is easier to relate on some things.

Keyspirits · Answer

First of all, Asian chix go for their white pickles. Simple as dat no matter how horrible they look or their personality, they will still get wif him. Sad but true :/

Kwippy · Answer

Hi, as an Asian girl myself I have always been attracted to Asian men more so than any other race, but maybe for those girls it's a status thing? I live in Vancouver where almost all the Asian girls go for Asian guys

HilarySquats · Answer

I would totally date an Asian guy if he was tall and he lifts- white girl

abundantlyrich · Answer

I don't think it should affect you. Are you passionate and intense just as they are?

NoblesseOblige · Answer

Validate? White chicks are hot... And, I don't have any problems. Get attractive.

Panzer103 · Answer

I feel your pain. Hopefully you're only running into the slutty ones. Best of luck with the good ones.

daniel_99 · Answer

Stop complaining, Asian women are better than white women for long-term realignment.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm Asian, and I prefer Asian, we all have our different preferences, it should not affect you, not all Asian girls are into white.

jily8 · Answer

i hate Asian men i only want white men

I am now disillusioned with Asian girls. What should I do?

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