Boyfriend said my breasts were too small?

[Anonymous]

So I was talking to my boyfriend and he told me that my boobs were too small for what he likes. Then turned right around and said he was more of a "butt guy" when he noticed that this upset me. It's put a real ding in my confidence and yes I do have small boobs but I'd like to think I have other assets that make up for it (skinniness, butt). Why did he say this? He knows I'm already self conscious about it and still mentioned it. Does it mean that he finds me less attractive? It came to my mind that he probably said he was a "butt guy" because I was so hurt over his other comment. Is there any way I can boost my confidence back up?

Updates

+1 y

It actually came up when I was getting ready and we were discussing how I was doing my makeup like one of the VS angels and it escalated into how they have big boobs and mine were too small for his taste.

[Hidden_P]

My first thought - he probably didn't really realise what he was saying. What were you talking about? Were you talking about someone on the TV and he said something like "I normally go for D cups" or something like that? If it was a situation like that, then he probably didn't mean to and then back-tracked to compliment you on something.

If it's really made you uncomfortable, talk to him about it. Don't attack him "Well if you like big boobs, why me?" Because that will just aggravate the problem. Perhaps instead try a more relaxed approach like "I've been thinking about what you said the other day about my boobs... is it really a problem to you that they are small?"

Something like your boobs there isn't a huge amount you can do as an over night fix. Is it just that they are small, or do they hang a little low (sorry for the description, you'll see why I asked...). If you do press ups or other chest muscle exercises, although considered unfeminine, it will work your chest muscles and your breasts will lift, giving them a perkier appearance and sometimes bigger.

Good luck. Try not to let it circle your head.

[Asker]

They're pretty perky (sorry but that's the only word I could describe it) it's just the fact that I actually fit into a B pretty well but there's no way I could go to a C so they're pretty tiny.

[Hidden_P]

B isn't that small... especially if you're skinny. It's not like you're flat. There's no point going to a bigger size if it's going to be uncomfortable, it's like squeezing into smaller jeans just to say you're a size 00.
What is it that makes you self conscious? I mean really. If you look at yourself in the mirror is it because you're out of proportion? Is it as simple that your friends are mostly D's?

I just get a feeling this issue isn't actually to do with your boyfriend but he just highlighted it and now it's bothering you more than before?

[Asker]

I've always noticed that all the girls he likes on tv or in magazines are C or D and my family has HUGE breasts when it comes to women. I'm pretty much the only one without a D and that's how I grew up. He pretty much just confirmed that they were small and I feel like I can't please him without larger breasts.

[Hidden_P]

To be honest, to me big breasts sounds like a fantasy to him to me. How long have you been with this guy?
If you feel you can't please him, you'll always be obsessed over this. You either need to have a hardcore talk with him, or consider leaving him. I hope you don't over the size of your breasts, but sweetie, you deserve someone who won't make you self conscious. Good luck darling x

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Hidden_P]

You're welcome, and thank you for MH :)

[dipta]

I don't see what your tactless bf or his idiotic remarks have to do with your self-confidence per se.
And if you were already self-conscious about their size, why would it put a real ding in your confidence?
Anyway, that's exactly the reason he brought it up, because he knows you'll just be upset and do nothing about it! Your job is not to be sad, is to demand respect! He wants to be with you, does he not? That's how you boost your confidence, by not selling yourself short!!

[Asker]

I've been self conscious about it but I thought he actually liked them. Unfortunately his comment made me rethink the way I look in all.

[dipta]

I don't think he dislikes them either. Just one of those things, "if I could choose, I wish my bf was taller or didn't snore" and stuff like that. People compromise every day, no one's perfect.
But you gotta stand your ground. IF he really doesn't like your boobs, you can find someone better to share them with, lol. What you cannot do is put yourself down because he or some other guy happen to not find you 100% perfect. That's common.

[CommieDearest]

Tell him his dick is small but it's aight because you love him and you've always been more into biceps.

[Asker]

Ahahah this one was pretty funny

[Asker]

I might actually try that

[harakiri]

Lmfao. We had the same idea :D

[dreamerguy]

He clearly doesn't know how to appreciate your body like it is! Tell him that his dick is too small and you'll get even ;) I myself love small boobs and the size really doesn't matter as long as they fit your body type! It's like saying "your eyes are too green" because you really have no control over certain body parts and how they end up being! But yeah if he doesn't appreciate your body as it is he can just leave, you'll do better! I know there's a guy out there who would like every single inch of your body :) But a lot of guys say things that aren't well thought and in reality they don't mind as much as it sounds to you. Talk to him about it and say that it really hurt you. If he doesn't take it seriously he's clearly not the one! Hope this helps and the best of luck to you! :)

[Asker]

Thank you. Your post made me smile!

[dreamerguy]

Glad I could be of assistance :)

[Jim4ask]

You know what would i do if i was you?
I would break up with him... Because you don't need a guy who wants you for your boobs, do you?
You need a guy who LOVES you for who you are!!(there is lots of different between Love and Want)
Who LOVES you for your personality your behavior and so on...
Don't ask him why he did that and don't want him to change, he would not change... I'm sure...
Just break up with him... and if he ask you why.. tell him, your LOVE was to small for me!!!
Dan Daaaan... I;m Done ;) ... Hope be Helpful ;)

[Anonymous]

Boys are dumb and will say things before thinking it out. So depending on the context, in his mind he might have just been casually mentioning it. Obviously he saw it hurt you and tried to cover.
I think that if you know he really cares about you, you don't need to dump him. He said a stupid thing, and if it was a one time mistake then don't worry about it. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you attractive.
If he continues to put you down, or he says things like that all the time, then maybe you should consider having a talk with him, if that doesn't work then dump him.

[HandsomeRaj]

1. All guys and girls have preferences. But guys are a little more for the visual part of it
2. Guys have another problem with sensitivity and at times they blurt something w/o using the right words and girls are too sensitive about such aspects - a natural and normal thing
3. I have preferences too like I prefer smaller breasts and wider hips, pear shaped body etc but if I like / love the woman enough she's the most perfect body for me - compatibility and chemistry matters :)

[TadCurious]

What he said was completely insensitive and disrespectful. There is nothing wrong with your breasts. There is nothing wrong with smaller breasts. Do you really want to be with a guy who would make a comment like what he made? Because what he said tells an awful lot about him. He is shallow. You can do MUCH better than him.

[MaskedSanity]

Why not tell him you think his penis is a bit too small for your liking, then turn around and say you're more of a "butt girl".

What a wanker.

[absolute-diva]

hahahaha that would be hilarious

[Theguyoverthere]

Sounds like he wants a supermodel if anything. I don't think he realizes how fake those big boob girls are and that many of them go through surgery. Tons of girls have big boobs but they sag a lot.

In the end, he is really commenting on something he shouldn't comment on. If he really didn't like a girl with "small boobs" that are probably more realistic than these swimsuit modesl out there, then he shouldn't go out with one. He makes it sound like he's "lowering his standards."

[Gegalix]

I know how you can boost your confidence: Dump that loser! Complaining about a girls breasts and butt is one of the shallowest things a man can do! If he thinks as I think he thinks, he'll soon dump you for a hotter chick, essesntially "upgrading". You don't want to be with a loser like him!

[rUinSAYAN]

boost confidence= put up a question on GaG "rate me 1-10 I am so ugly" with a picture of you where you look good. (anonymously if you want) and wait for them compliments that will boost you up. be carefull for me I am going to answer too but not so nicely :)

[AndyWes]

Why would he say something like that?

Because now you're going to be worried and stressing about whether you impress him or not. When a guy is too positive to a girl, it can kill interest. He did the opposite, and now you're focused on him.

[harakiri]

This lol.

Fight the power, QA.
Personally, your bf sounds like a douche to me. I'm sure there's plenty about him you would love to change if you could. Like perhaps, penis size. You can drop a comment about him lacking in that department and then break up with him, leaving him a mess. And then you can find someone who will appreciate you for you- plenty of guys don't care about boob size at all :)

[AndyWes]

Hmm. Is he a douche, Harakiri, or does he just know how to keep a girl interested? :p

[harakiri]

He's a douche! There are so many ways to keep a girl interested. You don't have to insult her or take advantage of her insecurities... why would anyone want to be with a person who manipulates them like that? Imagine if the situation was reversed... would you accept that kind of behavior from a gf?

[AndyWes]

Haha, that's the thing. Guys don't lose interest in a girl if she's nice or compliments him. There's no, "You're a nice, sweet girl" Kiss of Death going from men to women.

Vice verce, there is, haha. Hence, men must treat women accordingly if you want to keep a woman around.

[decemberxblue]

Wise words, Andy. If you're nice, people lose interest and fall off the map. I've gotta stop making that mistake and learn from this girls bf.

[AndyWes]

Oh, being nice is fine for making friends. And if you want to get friendzoned, nice is a great thing, haha.

[harakiri]

Then I suppose I'm not normal since this sort of thing would just make me dump the guy. Sigh.

[MaskedSanity]

Oh yerrr, nothing gets me more hot, than emotional abuse and manipulation. O bby.

[AndyWes]

Hey, it doesn't make logical sense. That's why so many guys act too kind and bore women, get friendzoned for a long time. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

[harakiri]

Maybe this works on stupid people.

[CommieDearest]

Wow who could have guessed you were an advocate of Negging? Not I!

[AndyWes]

Haha, hey, you go with what works! Girls set the rules there, not men.

[decemberxblue]

"Hey, it doesn't make logical sense. That's why so many guys act too kind and bore women, get friendzoned for a long time. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen... hey, you go with what works!" The truth.

[Maosource]

Yes, dump him and find a guy who likes small boobs
They do exist

[Gegalix]

Its not that they like small boobs. Haven't met a guy who genuinely liked them, he just told her he did. But he doesn't care about something as stupid as breast size!

[decemberxblue]

True. I honestly don't care for them.

[Maosource]

Well I have Gegalix. :) And I am bisexual, and personally I find small boobs cute and attractive whereas big boobs come of to me as intimidating I don't know why, but if they are bigger than a handful to me I consider them too big :P

[kheserthorpe]

I think he is trying to say breasts are a low priority.

I suspect in 10 years he will prefer small.

B isn't small on a small frame.

Average p*rn star is a 34b.

[COCOCHANEL]

what makes you suspect that?

[samdoebuck]

If that is what his priority is, then he is not for you. Personally, I find small breasts on a woman as more attractive for various reasons, not just how they look. I assure you there are men out there who will find your breasts and the rest of your body as sexy and attractive.

[Flat4]

That's a very worrying comment from him so you'll always have that in the back of your mind. Just dump the guy as I'm sure you have them queuing up with such a hot body in my opinion!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to tread generalization waters here, let me guess he was White? White guys are crazy, they say the craziest things about their girlfriends inadequacies to their faces.

[Asker]

Yes lol he is indeed white.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol I knew it. White guys are brutal in that regard. They're far more nit-picky - I do mean nit-picky by it's definition - than other races of men. And the fact that they say it to their women. D:

In my opinion it is inexcusable. I'm pretty sure he doesn't fit 100% of what you like in a man either.

[Crazyced]

What was the context? Did he just blurt that out of the blue?

[Asker]

I was acually getting ready and we were discussing how I was doing my eye makeup like one of the VS angels and it escalated into how they have big boobs and mine were too small for his taste.

[Crazyced]

You know him much better then we do. If he's not known to say mean things like this, you might want to shrug it up as a brain fart. He did try to redeem himself immediately. He might like bigger boobs, but it doesn't mean he's not attracted to you.

[Tassos]

I prefer small perky breasts over big ones. I'm an assman sooo boobs are for kids, ass is for real men. Cheer up, if not dump the scumbag and get yourself a guy that appreciates them perky teddies ;)

[Prof_Don]

He worded his thoughts badly. He likes ur butt more than your boobs

[WonderingManII]

Guys are not with a girl just cause of her body.

[douride2]

Typical guy mouth going in forward brain in reverse.

[lordAlex818]

Ouch, that's mean... what were you talking about when he brought it up?

[COCOCHANEL]

it shouldn't matter. he obviously cares about you and your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Tons of guys who prefer boobs that don't sag
Be proud of your perfect body
If it bothers you that much dump him and find someone who prefers your body type

[Jaron29]

Make fun of his tiny dingdong. Revenge is sweet.

[Anonymous]

He's a jerk. Dump him. Simple :)