She said that there was no spark or the spark faded away.

[seabazz005]

I recently got broken up with and she said that there was no spark or the spark faded away. We only dated for two months but I was really into her. Now I was under the impression that this "spark" had to do with sexual desire or attractiveness but she said neither or those was the problem. What else could it be?

[Manafon]

"spark" usually means that a woman is flighty and demands constant stimulation and excitement, yet doesn't think she's obligated to offer you anything substantial.

my guess, from what you describe and from my experience with girls like this, is that you were stimulating and exciting for a few months. but then she gradually thought you were boring. not because you _are_ boring, but because she's easily bored. she's shallow and has nothing to offer, and she believes it's your duty to entertain her. she believes that relationships should be perpetually thrilling, and she's afraid of commitment.

she probably does this every 2-4 months, no matter who she's dating.

[seabazz005]

But she's had relationships that lasted years, and I know for a fact that she was statisfied, I trying to find out if a spark is something other then sexual

[Manafon]

In that case, she's just not as interested in you as you are in her.

How long between her previous boyfriend and you? Could you have been a rebound?

[seabazz005]

She had been single for a year, she dated other guys between me and her last relationship but noihtng "offical" you know

[confusedwhat]

Maybe she got hurt in a relationship and has commitment-phobia now. I'm in a similar situation with a girl who tells me that we're a perfect match (and hundreds of other things) but won't date me because there's "no spark". This girl I'm having this experience with will hang out with a new guy ever 2 months or so, but for some reason, is constantly hanging out with me. At some point you have to cut your losses and let go, it sucks, I literally just did it 2 days ago. Best of luck!

[vmw2008]

Sometimes its just a matter of compatibility. The difference between guys and girls is what we both consider the "spark." Since guys are more visual it usually means sexual desire/attractiveness. For girls its more a feeling we get when we're with you. It's so hard to explain but it's a mix of chemistry, love, companionship and sexual desire all wrapped in one. When a woman feels like she's getting the best of all worlds with a guy we call it the "spark." Seems like there may have been one of those things missing with your relationship. I know it must be tough so I wish you the best of luck!

[seabazz005]

Would not feeling like the woman in the relationship or feeling like the man can't support her or the man doesn't have a backbone count as one of those sparkss

[vmw2008]

Most definitely. If I don't feel like the man acts like the man, I don't get the spark. They don't have to be over the top macho, but I definitely need to feel that he's protective and wants to take care of me/keep me safe. And also make me feel sexy like a woman. If a man can do that then I definitely feel a spark.

[seabazz005]

Makes sense but I showed and told her that, let me help you, I'm coming I don't think you should go alone, I whisper sweet nothings in her ear, told her how sexy she is and beautiful she is, I paid for most everything, unless the plan was for her treat, so I'm confused

[seabazz005]

Also would the face that the guy is skinny have something to do with the spark, but then again I was the same size as when we first met and she agreed to go out with me so I don't thank that would be it right.

[seabazz005]

So would the face that I was thinner then she was would that be a part of it, but then again I was thinner then her when we first started sating and she still agreed to go out with me.

[vmw2008]

No, body size preference is different for every girl. For me, I like guys to be a lot bigger than me, but not every girl feels that way. If she had agreed to go out with you I don't think that was the issue. Sometimes the "spark" is indescribable. I've met incredible guys that I couldn't figure out why there was no spark, or why the spark had left.

[vmw2008]

If I were you, I wouldn't obsess over what may have been wrong with you. I'm sure you're a great guy, and what didn't give your ex the spark may make another girl fall head over heels in love with you. So unless you have a major problem like drugs or cheating, stay who you are.

[seabazz005]

Well I don't do drungs and have never cheated on anyone. But can I ask you, how long does it take for a girl to figure out if there is a spark, because she said she has been struggleing with it the whole relationship, it was a 3 month relationship

[vmw2008]

Not that long. Girls typically take a little longer than guys to find it because we're less fixated on looks and more on how you make us feel. Sometimes a spark can form after a very long time, but usually it does not take 3 months. For me it's a couple weeks or less.

[seabazz005]

I like this so you are really helping me out, but the fact she went out with me does tha tmean there was spark, Why would she wait so long then

[vmw2008]

There may have been. But there may not have been too. For the same reason that guys will stay in a relationship for too long just for the sex, girls stay in relationships for the security/companionship. She may have thought you were a great guy and she felt comfortable around you. But that doesn't mean she felt the "spark." Some girls can get into relationships like that, but I can't.

[scnbabe89]

the spark is actually something that guys and girls use as an easy way to get out of a reliniship I'm sorry to say this but she's just saying this because she doesn't want to be with you and that's her easy way out.