She started no contact?

[Anonymous]

Girl broke up with me couple weeks ago and said maybe we're just better off as friends for now... then 4 days later she hinted at wanting to see me again, then another 4 days after that she hmu and indirectly was trying to hangout and get something to eat (I could tell, she just didn't want to straight up and say it, so she was beating around the bush) but so we ended up hanging out and having a good time with it ending in a long tight hug and her giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then 5 days later, I asked her if she wanted to do something, she agreed and we hungout all day and night and took a picture together and few of each other individually. Then I asked if she wanted to do something the very next day only because that was the only day it wasn't supposed to rain, she agreed and we hungout all night. Another great time and we took more pictures together and with those 2 days we were intimate with holding hands, cuddling and kissing... then 3 days later I asked what she was doing after work the following night and said she had plans (she asked what I wanted though) and I told her to see if she wanted to get something to eat and drink and spend the night together... well earlier that week, I bought her 2 gifts, a blanket and a necklace... she got them Saturday (2 days after me asking to spend the night together) and she sent me video of them saying how much she likes them and thanks and sent a picture of her wearing the necklace... but haven't heard from her since then...

[Changiis07]

Not sure, have you two had a conversation as to why she is giving you mixed signals. It seems like she likes you of course, otherwise she wouldn't bother agreeing to hang out

[Asker]

No, we haven't had those conversations... but I want to. I had an opportunity to bring it up last time we hungout but I didn't 😞

[Changiis07]

So maybe text her in advance and tell her you'd like to meet up to have a conversation to see where you all stand. That way she is prepared to tell you what's going on and that way it isn't awkward and just be honest with your feelings and have her be honest with hers. Is it going too fast, does she just need some space. What's going on in her life..

[Asker]

I definitely feel like I was smothering her... always tryna hangout and see her... so right now I'm just tryna give her the space she clearly wants... our only communication before this was really only snapchat.. we sent a few texts but it was pretty clear she didn't wanna text... we had a snap streak and we were continuing that and she'd message me sometimes outside of that on snapchat

[Changiis07]

Yeah I personally don't like when a guy is smothering me but sounds like she also misses you and really enjoys hanging out with you. That's sweet though, I had a boyfriend that always wanted to see me and it felt like too much but then when he ended up giving me space it gave me time to miss him but also then I realized that okay I do like him a lot and then I felt like I ruined things because he would slowly not put as much effort anymore into seeing me and it's like I would ruin it but yeah

[Asker]

I've never been in this situation and I fucking hate it... I just don't know what to do, especially if there's still that small 1% percentage chance with us...

[Changiis07]

I think it's best to communicate. You both enjoy each other I can see but that's what relationships are about learning, and growing. Getting through those difficult times, I mean there will be a lot of ups and downs

[Asker]

Seems almost impossible to get her back... she told me awhile back she has commitment issues and shit... but how long during the no contact should I reach out to her?

[Changiis07]

What exactly are those issues? Is it something you can help her with..

[Asker]

I don't know... that's the problem. We never had these conversations 😐 it's like we both avoided the hard conversations and just move forward like nothing was wrong...

[Changiis07]

That's exactly what will actually help your relationships. It's having those very uncomfortable conversations instead of brushing it off like nothing and then holding it in. If you want any relationship to grow you have to have those. Means being vulnerable and actually talking about it, even if you don't know how to start it just start it. It's showing and caring for each other and willing to work on things. Relationships are never perfect, it takes work and it's best to work on it sooner so that if it ever becomes into a marriage you all can get through those moments and marriage becomes easier because you know not to step on each others toes etc. If you never heard of the 5 languages that book is real good and very popular

[Asker]

There's always the chance she ignores me and or blocks me but I guess I haveta take that risk... how long would you wait to break the silence?

[Changiis07]

Not long. It's not fair to you that she's treating you as an option. She likes you but then goes cold. It's best to see if she wants to be in a relationship or not. It's good to ask questions about what you two want for your future as well. Is she someone that will be a great mom to your kids. Do you guys even want kids. Are you both good at saving, I mean even though you both like each other you want to know if this is the one for you too. If she blocks you then maybe she isn't the one.

[Asker]

Last time we hungout, she showed me her list of baby names lol and we've talked about baby names top before that... I have no doubt she would be the best mom. She's an amazing person.. best girl to ever walk into my life

[Changiis07]

That's amazing so yes something to work for then

[Asker]

But this no contact makes me 99% believe she wants it to be completely over between us 😞

[Changiis07]

Not really I mean the fact that she kisses you back and agrees to hang out is good. I know as a woman if I didn't want someone I'd cut things off completely and not even agree to hangout let alone kiss

[Asker]

I guess I won't know until I try talking to her again

[Changiis07]

Pretty much communication is key to any relationship

[Asker]

Yeah and we lacked communication really badly 💔

[Changiis07]

Yup it's what I went wrong with my previous relationship :( but every relationship has helped me grow and learn that it's okay to express my feelings

[Asker]

Since snapchat was our "main" communication after her saying maybe we're better off as friends, should I just reach out to her on there with a selfie or just text her?

[Changiis07]

Call her, no one call anymore. Calling is so much better then texting. You can miscommunite a lot in texts

[Asker]

Last time I did that, she wanted to talk on the phone and not in person... I need to see her in person and talk.. not on the phone

[Asker]

Plus I have no idea when she's working. Her schedule changes every week... and her phone was on dnd at 9... if I text her, I'd say something like... "can we talk... when's a good night to meet up?"

[Asker]

Goes on**

[Changiis07]

Yeah that sounds good. Or I'd like for us to meet up to talk about our relationship and where it's going. When is a good day?

[Asker]

We don't even have a relationship anymore... once she said maybe we're better off as friends, relationship was over... we need to start a new one but first getting all the issues out and discussing them