She contacted me one week after I started no contact

[Anonymous]

so I was dating this girl for like 3 months. we always had a great time and she soon started to sleep at my place and even told her parents about me that she'd probably have a new boyfriend soon. well we had an argument as I was a little jealous once, but the next day it was OK again and wasn't a really big fight. well after a while I told her I'd like to be in a relationship with her, but she said she can't currently because of friends (also friends of her ex) and has to get her life in order, has nothing todo with me apparently, but its more important to her. which I understood. but then I made a stupid comment about the jealousy issue about 3 weeks ago and ever since she is different. the next week she seemed distant and when I wanted to meet, she made up excuses. at the end of the week I asked what's up and she just said "i don't want any relationship stuff now". I called her up and she was really angry never seen her like that just shoutuing at me and being mean. saying I wouldn't give her time and pressure her. well whatever I said she said I know everything better. the next 4 days I wrote 3 mails to her explaining my feelings and asking to meet up, but she got even more pissed off and said I should stop that she doesn't want a relationship now and my mails are annoying her. so I decided OK maybe I should give up. I told her I would delete her off Facebook and Skype for now, just to make it easier to forget and not get tempted to write her anymore. well that upset her a lot, she said something like "stop your excuses I know you are sorry, but I need time..you don't get it, but yea just delete me, I think you have psychological issues..you don't know how other people feel". as I asked her in the mails if it all ment nothing to her she just said "oh and when you say it all means nothing to me, you are so stupid" instead of just telling me what she feels. anyways I decided to go no contact as she wanted space. well she put me on complete ignore on Facebook after I removed her so I wouldn't be able to write. I called her up and said I didn't do it to piss her off, just to make it easier..but she was just shouting and being angry again. no chance to talk normally and eventually she just hung up..so I went no contact. 2 days later she added me back in Skype and unignored me on Facebook. I didn't write her. exactly one week later, she wrote my in Skype at 11pm being all friendly. I just talked normally to her for around one hour, nothing about the fight or anything, just what's happened in our lifes. well 2 days later she wrote on fb that she's sick, so I called her and asked how she's doing..she was not as angry, but still kinda bad mood and not really friendly. after we hung up she wrote me in Facebook "sorry that I was like that, but everyone tells me today what todo.." ..well the last 2 days we didn't have any contact yet. I just wonder if she still has feelings for me, or if I should just give up?

[lumos]

Well, you were definitely trying too hard and pushing her too much. When she says she wants space, it doesn't necessarily mean that she likes you less than she did before. You should have respected that, but you did the exact opposite - you were being very clingy (especially with those 3 e-mails) and practically forcing yourself on her when it was clear she didn't want that. You pretty much drove her away, so I'm really not sure if she likes you anymore.

However, she seems like a lot of unnecessary drama. I understand why she got frustrated with you, but it seems like she was very unable of controlling her feelings, something that might become an issue again in the future. If she really wanted space, she could have just told you that and then ignored you. Instead, she decided to shout at you. Not a very good reaction in my opinion.

If I were you, I'd learn from this. If a girl says she doesn't want a relationship yet and that she wants space, DON'T PUSH HER. A lot of guys think that if they just keep proving how much they like the girl, she'll eventually just change her mind. No, that's not how it works. If she wants you to back off, then back off. Respect her decision. Throwing yourself at her even more will just turn her off big time.

As for wondering if you should give up, I really don't know. If you let her be without clinging onto her and being desperate, she might cool down and decide that she's ready to give it another shot. But don't get your hopes up. It seems like you really wound her up, and it might have resulted in her becoming completely uninterested in having a relationship with you.

[no_bs]

^ this

[Anonymous]

Walk away. You had a “relationship” of sorts. She's clearly not interested anymore and doesn't want a relationship with you, not an official one. If a girl really isn't ready for a relationship, she doesn't put herself in a position where there is the possibility of a relationship. Even if she doesn't want right now but wants to be with you, she would have done everything in her power to get her life sorted out as fast as possible to be with you. Stop talking to her and move on. You've both made mistakes, immature and pointless ones. Too late to fix it now.

[ellensp93]

Just forget about her. Most girls would kill to have a guy constantly calling and messaging them. A lot of guys that I've dated would take forever to answer their phones I felt like I was always waiting for them to call or message me and it was stressful. You seem like your trying really hard too which should be appreciated. Any girl would be lucky to have you.

[cornelljaquaze]

Bro F all that forget her. She got issues and needs to work them out. You put a lot of time into her and by doing that it pushed her away and when you deleted her she got even more mad but she the one saying she need space. well if you did that to make space ot does help. I think you should move on. Girls do these dumb things and think guys suppose to know. Like that bull she saiaboutyy you nor knowing how other people feel. Well she wasn't right for talking to you in the first place of she don't wanna be in a relationship with you. You told her how you felt and she made excuses to not be with you talking about her friends and her ex. You don't got time for that bull bro. Forget her and move on. You gotta find someone who gone tell you what they want and they not gonna have lame excuse to not be with you. Find you a girl who is gonna want a relationship. You don't need that drama she bringing to the table with Facebook ignoring you and calling you stupid. Bro she just using you as friend. Yall talked got close and she backed away and now acting like nothing happen. Forget that bro. You was a man told her how you felt and she can't be a women and take your feelings seriously then you should move on. Girls take that feelings stuff serious and even though I never had a girlfriend I know when they playing you and when you just a friend. Just know you need to let her go because of she wanted to be with you she would have been. I answered your question so be fair and answer mine.

[no_bs]

If you're dating each other for 3 months and sleeping over, you can bet that it's a "relationship." It was silly to say that you wanted to be in one with her, as if you didn't recognize what you already had.

She was not ready to make things official and see you exclusively. When you pushed (and acted like a boy instead of a man on the jealousy issues) she reacted badly. And then you pushed more, continuing your pattern of ignorance of her rejection. She doesn't need you to explain your feelings: she's well aware of them. She just needs you to back the f*ck off.

That passive-agressive sh*t with threatening Facebook & Skype deletion, blocking, and then calling her up... that's messed up behavior. You need to respect yourself more. If you want to cut someone out, just do it, and stop being wishy-washy about that decision.

Know when to fold your cards. This relationship is FUBAR. She may still have feelings, but she is just not interested anymore. Try forgetting about her for 6 months while you meet other people. If she wants to come back to you, she'll know how to find you. But when you say no contact, it means "no contact." Cut your losses; move on.

[benzelizabeth]

Very well said.

[no_bs]

Thank you.

[benzelizabeth]

Sounds like you are both confused and so lost .

cut your losses and ditch drama.If she likes you like that she wouldn't want time from you,just for you to slow down.In my opinion she is keeping you on the back burner.

[luckyGurl]

When things are stressing you out then walk away >> this has always been my motto when it comes to relationship. A healthy relationship should make you feel happy and light :).

[Anonymous]

I think you should move on, she is too much stress.

[Bt0paz]

Sound like she is the one with issues, its not worth it if she won't even give you the time of day!

[Anonymous]

Just give up. She's leading you on.

[Anonymous]

Sounds lika lot of drama...