He still misses me and contacts me but has a new girlfriend, I still like him.. what should I do?

To put it simply I casually dated a guy that I met the last 2 weeks of college for about 2 months (LD after the 2 weeks). He was not over his ex girlfriend at the time (a one year previous one, not recent btw) so that's why we weren't official because he wasn't ready for a relationship. I know, red flag.. but he treated me wonderfully--talked to me for hours everyday, confided things to me , worried about me, complimented me constantly, and always wanted to spend every minute with me..He even invited me to go on vaca with him and his family. W e did have sex btw.. it wasn't just hanging out as buds.Basically, everything seemed perfect but still I needed to break things off with him for him to take me seriously and commit (he was dating other girls and it was hurting me). When I broke up with him he was shocked and told me about this new girl he was hanging out with saying she wanted to date him and he liked her but was confused and holding off because it "didn't feel right with what we had going." Now, the very next day after the break up he starts dating her (he's known her for 3 years btw) and 8 days later she becomes his official gf!

Now, he doesn't seem to be taking her seriously—I’m assuming the day they started dating they did something sexual and that day he was talking online with me while she was sitting RIGHT next to him on the couch.. why he didn’t say he was busy is beyond me. Though, on the other hand.. he said he was going to call me later that night and never did. Also, after only a WEEK of them dating.. he ims me on fb the very second I sign on saying eagerly "how are you?" almost as if he was waiting online to talk to me. Now, 2 weeks after that he liked one of my statuses on fb. Now, today he imed me again and talked for a really long time saying “school is starting again soon!” and I said “yeah, I’ll be back in 3 weeks!” and he said “ :) we will have to get lunch or something and catch up then soon!” Is he simply wanting to be friends and the girlfriend knows about this or is it something completely on him-- I wonder if things will change now that I'm no longer long distance. I am still so confused as to why he's official with her.. if he liked her that much why did he tell her he wanted to see how it would work out with me before dating her and now even after they're official is still initiating contact with me? He's not a jer, even though his actions are making him look like one.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Holy crap...I'd be a lieing man if I told you I know what's going on with all this.

    Your taking a lot of things into consideration. Most of which DO NOT MATTER.

    If he has a girlfriend, don't take anything he says "romantically" seriously!

    "Oh, he said this on facebook!" Wait doesn't he have a GF?! What does this mean!?!"

    Who cares...

    If your EX is seeing someone else, you shouldn't take anything he says seriously. The only time you need to take him seriously is when it becomes OBVISIOUS that he might still want you.

    Most EXs, male and female, will "beat around the bushes" to see what's there. They will start playing games to see if there are still feelings amist. Then you got the Guy/Girl wondering if HE/SHE still likes them because "they IMed me on Facebook", when they have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Unless that man comes out and says "I still like you", if he still has a GF, what he says doesn't matter...

    Just be his friend, because he sure as hell isn't a jerk...

    All this is MY opinion...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well you did the mistake of getting into a fwb's situation in the first place. You had some good times and casual sex, but that doesn't mean he's going to stay put and be committed to you. You even said it yourself you were waiting to break up with him to make him more "serious". That's idiotic, both on paper and perspective.

    Since he already ran to some new girl, the best you can do is learn a lesson. It doesn't really seem worth salvaging. Or you can waste a few more months trying to, but I really don't see the point. Good luck.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, I know that you say he's not a jerk, but his actions do really make it seem that way. I know that you care for this guy, but I think that you could do better. Starting with the fact that you two were pretty much dating and he even invited you to spend an extended amount of time with his family, or that he was seeing other girls when involved with you, this guy really seems like scum. As for the fact that he acquired a girlfriend so soon after you dumped him makes him seem insecure and as if he wanted to hurt you by flaunting his prowess with women over you. Plus, if he keeps on contacting you and trying to see you in the future, it seems as though he's just trying to string you along.

    So I'd meet with him for one lunch, but make it very clear that you either want to date exclusively or have nothing to do with him. I think that that's your best option, because he's only going to hurt you if he carries on with his pompous actions.

    Best of Luck


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