Should I ask her for no contact?

[Anonymous]

There's this girl I'm messaging atm. Our history together started years ago. I had a crush on her in high school and first reached out to her when we went our separate ways after our last year. We messaged most days for a few months but it eventually died out and it felt like she'd lost interest. Over the past 3 years since then, we've reached out to each other a bunch of times but it only ever lasts a week or two before she seems to lose interest and the convo dies out.

I eventually gave up trying for her and we went a year without any contact at all, then one day she randomly reached out and we've been messaging every day for the past 4 months since. I've been playing it safe and keeping my hopes low, but I really like her and want to progress things into something more serious. She seems interested in me and we've gotten to know each other well, but there's some sort of weird tension where we're not treating each other casually like friends, but she's also not filling me with enough confidence to make a bold move on her (given our history together).

My plan is to tell her that I like her and have a genuine interest in her, but want to go no contact for a couple of weeks so we can refresh things and start over on a more serious note.

I want your opinion tho, is this a good idea? Or should I just tell how I feel and not suggest no contact?

[coachTanthony]

So you eventually gave up trying to keep her interested on a phone? Lol Dude ask her out on a proper date already. Get off the phone. Stop talking to women for weeks on end and see them in person.

[Asker]

Yeah I get this a lot but the circumstances around our relationship are really complex and I can't just ask her out. I wish I could cos it'd make things a lot easier, but I can't do that until we've committed to each other.
I can't explain it all but we've both grown up in the same church community which maintains really strict morals. We only date to marry, so until we know for sure that we're ready and want to commit to each other, we can't just go out together. Haha it sounds ridiculous but just casually asking a girl out on a date is something that nobody in the community is allowed to do and it would immediately put her off if I did.
So in short, I'm limited to messaging her and that's just how it is.

[coachTanthony]

That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of lol that’s not how relations works in fact it’s the opposite of how it works …. leave that cult already

[Asker]

Call it what you want but it's what I've grown up with and it's my life. I'm not going to leave it just so I can start dating run-through women without any morals in their lives.
You're old enough to be my dad and have obviously had a whole lot more experience than me so I'm not going to sit here and school you, but the dynamics of a relationship in our community are much different from that of relationships outside. We're a community of 75,000 members and 98% of our first marriages last a lifetime, while in the US 50% of all first marriages fail within 10 years and over 60% of second-time marriages fail within an even shorter timeframe. That's because our relationships are built on strong morals and genuine commitment, not lust and feelings.
Think what you like about us but at the end of the day, we're the ones raising our kids in strong safe families with both of their biological parents in the picture. Why would anyone want to leave that?

[moconnell]

if you want something with her, do not go no contact. just start slow

[Asker]

Thanks for your help, what do you suggest for starting slow?

[moconnell]

Tell her you like her but just dont want to jump into something