Should I contact her?

[Anonymous]

I met a girl 1.5 years ago and I pursued her aggressively. I got her but after I did I realized I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I’d just got out of a 5 year relationship right before meeting her and was still in college after the military. She is 6-7 years older than me and already had a career, smart, successful and I felt I wasn’t ready for that. At the time I was quite immature and I said awful things to her. Told her I didn’t even think about her and that she wasn’t my type. I was trying to get her to move on quick but it had the opposite impact of hurting her badly and then I refused to meet up to discuss it after she told me how hurt she was. I’m now working in a good job and I still think about her. She was the kindest person I ever met and very beautiful. She was helping me get an internship, she paid for dates because I couldn’t at the time and she even offered to take me to Dubai so we could spend time together. She didn’t care about whether I had money- she said she believed in me because we wanted the same things in life. I think about the horrible things I said to her. There were a lot of them- I even told her she’s too old to have my kids as a reason to leave her. I want to reach out but I’m afraid too much time has passed. I would like opinions.

[BCA6010]

No harm in reaching out, but you should manage expectations. There's a good chance she's already moved on and thoroughly entrenched elsewhere by now.

[Asker]

Thanks. Have you had something similar? I don’t know why it came on suddenly in recent months, non stop thinking of her and how I behaved. And comparing how much kinder and smarter she was to the girls I dated after her.

[BCA6010]

Yeah, a girl I dated in college. We split up amicably because we were going different directions in our lives and when I got in touch with her again about two years later she was seeing someone who was pretty serious.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot.

[Asker]

Issue is it wasn’t amicable so I don’t have peace I guess. I said awful things to this very kind person and only recently realized how immature I was. Maybe that’s why it’s bothering me

[WhitneySnow]

You can reach out but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t answer

[Anonymous]

Let it go. You had your chance and you blew it. Move on.

[Asker]

I agree. I did. But is it not worth telling her it wasn’t true? Im almost haunted by some of what I said to her. I want her to at least know I do think of her and that I didn’t mean the other crap.

[In_Trance]

Nope