Had an affair, fell in love, got caught...and now no contact ever again? Really?

Anonymous
I am a married woman, early 40's. I am originally from the east coast and now live in Texas. When I was 10 I went to a private school and had a friend ("John"). I always adored him. I moved to Colorado when I was in 10th grade, but we always stayed in touch throughout the years...Maybe once a year, even after we both were married. to other people. Ironically, somehow we both ended up in Texas years later. We lived less than an hour apart. We still talked once or twice a year. Both in the same line of work (real estate) so we had a lot in common.

After 10 years of living less than an hour apart and talking only once or twice a year, he emailed me one night. I emailed him back and he responded right away. It ended up turning into an hour or more of email that got a little edgy. I didn't even feel that guilty since I felt like I knew him so well. I should explain that my husband travels every week Monday through Friday and his wife lives and breathes her real estate career and has always put it first. We were both a little lonely and we had a great connection and so things naturally progressed...

What started out as and innocent email grew into a 2 1/2 year affair. It started as fun...just sex. It turned into more. He was careful to not get too crazy, but we were both in deep. This past year was awesome...he was my best friend ad I was his best friend. We were super close. Went to lunch almost every week, I even picked out his clothes when I would go shopping. I felt more married to him than I did my own husband and he did too. Sex was incredible . He told me he loved me but that we would never be together. I accepted that. It took me one full year to learn that I could love him and still have my own life.

The we got caught in bed by his 19 year old son. It was over. He had to tell his wife because his son was going to. John dropped me like a hot potato. I am so baffled by his behavior because he told me its over and to never contact him again. John and I grew so close over the last 2 1/2 years, how can he be so cold? I understand that his wife said to not ever contact me again or he is out of there. I also need to add that this guy is a multi-millionaire and enjoys his cushy lifestyle that his wife has made for them. I feel like he chose money over true love. I never felt like this before with anyone and I know he didn't either...he got married at 19. He was so hot for me. It has been 3 months and I broke every rule and yes, I emailed and called him. Nothing good came of it. He will have no contact with me. the only response I have gotten to my email is to stop the email and all contact. When I called him, he sounded so put out and cold and said to not call back. What is with the no contact? If I stop, will he EVER contact me again? Is it too late, does he hate me now? I know he loved me..I think no contact makes it easier for him. Its killing me.He said we can't ever be friends because his son caught us
Updates:
+1 y
So why no contact at all? Not even a nice goodbye? Why be so cold and rude? Is it too late to repair the damage I already did by emailing him after he told me not to and by calling when he clearly did not want to hear from me. Will he come around?
+1 y
Mainly concerned that I contacted him after he told me not to. Each time he replied he told me it is over, no more email, he "cant have any contact" w/me. Over 3 months I emailed maybe 12 times. Would welcome a man's point of view. Does he hate me now?
+1 y
Its a fine line between love and hate...did I cross it? How can I repair damage now and what can I do to raise the odds of hearing from him some day? Do I send him one last email and tell him I am letting go because I love him and want him to be happy?
+1 y
Would also love to hear a man's opinion
+1 y
I want to be the person he thinks about and has warm thoughts about. I want him to think about me when he is lonely. I just want to know he thinks about me. I keep waiting for a short sweet email saying it was fun, I will never forget, but its over...
Had an affair, fell in love, got caught...and now no contact ever again? Really?
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