Should I invite him to my house after the date?

[manee]

I am going out with a guy who lives about 35 minutes from my house. We are planning to go to a bar right next to my house because I live in Manayunk (If you haven't heard of it; Manayunk is a part of Philly with lots of bars/restaurants/clubs and a huge night life).

So after the date I was going to walk home but I am not sure if it's rude not to invite him over since I live so close. I am not planning to have sex with him so I am going to be upfront about it but I don't want to seem not interested in him either. He can come hang out with me and my dog and leave later:/

[Creationist_Cord]

Allow him to walk you to your door if you like. Do no invite him in if you do not want to. Inviting a guy in will make most guys think you want to have sex. You can give him a kiss on the cheek or lips and tell him you had a wonderful time (if you did) and that you would love to see him again. If the date goes bad and you do not want to date him again, then separate from him at the restaurant, tell him you had an interesting time and leave it at that. He should get the message that you do not want to date.

This is all coming from my limited scope on the world. Take care of yourself and if he tries to coerce his way in, tell him you do would like to see where the relationship goes before getting into anything serious. If he continues trying, then tell him to kindly fuck off. Hahaha.

[manee]

I was going to be upfront with him and tell him I don't have sex on the first date.

[Creationist_Cord]

That works too. With that however, you are assuming he wants sex on the first date. With a more subtle approach, you can feel him out. Some guys understand that sex on the first date isn't a thing for some girls.

[manee]

Could you please tell me a more subtle approach? like I would really like to hang out with him in my house and not give him wrong signals. But the last time I invited a guy over he thought we are going to have sex and when we didn't he got all upset and left never to talk to me again. I just don't know why it's so hard for guys to hang out with girl they are dating and not expect sex at the end ughh

[Creationist_Cord]

Not all guys are like that. I for one understand that dates do not lead to sex all the time. The subtle approach works if you don't want him to come in as that could be taken as a sexual advance but you also do not want to offend him by assuming he wanted sex.

If you want him to come in but not assume that sex will be involved, then invite him in but make it clear from your actions that no sex will be involved. Take off your coats and such and hang them up. Seat him on a chair somewhere comfortable and you take a chair yourself. Chairs are made for one person and this should start to tip him off that you aren't looking for sex. Bring you dog around and introduce him. Be a gracious host while being careful not to make any strong sexual advances. The guy should get the message. I would if this were to happen to me.

[Creationist_Cord]

The first paragraph should be "The subtle approach I mentioned in my first post..." Just to cleat up any confusion.

[manee]

I kinda wanted to make out with him though because he's cute and I just got out a of a long term relationship;) I guess it's one way or the other then:/ I wish there was a way to just make out and leave it at that.

[Creationist_Cord]

Often times making out in a private setting will lead to sex whether you intend for it too or not. If you are strong willed enough you can make out with him and not have it lead anywhere. The problem is keeping up your willpower with his hands caressing you and tracing your every curve and his tongue and yours clashing and roiling all over each other.

Try to keep up your willpower just imagining that. Hahahaha

[manee]

lol I actually can keep my will power and have done that before, but the thing is some guys get so upset when it doesn't go anywhere and we end up as enemies afterwards (real experience). But if you are talking about me I definitely can make out like crazy and not have sex and I actually enjoy it better knowing everything was in control and no regrets the next day.

[Creationist_Cord]

Then fuck those guys. If they can't handle a simple date without sex then they aren't mature enough to appreciate a woman and respect her right to choose whether she wants to have sex or not. If it happens with this guy then just keep it moving and forget about him.

[JerrySpringher]

In a guys mind drinking and a invivation to your home equals sex. Just hug it out at the door. Women you can't make it easy for guys. Make them work!!

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Wait till you get to know him better. it sounds like its the first couple of dates with this guy? if so then you don't wanna invite him over so quickly. and yes if you invite a guy inside your place after the date (especially after alcohol has been consumed) it will give the impression that you want to have sex with him. it isn't rude to not invite him over. you are not obligated to invite this guy over right now.

and it doesn't matter if you tell a guy "i don't have sex on the first date" because you can say whatever you want but guys go by your actions. telling a guy you won't put out, then inviting him over after a night of partying sends mixed signals. don't do it

[LilyOfTheValley22]

They're a big chance he will see this invitation as a sexual one. But you'll see when you'll go out with him. If he seems genuinely interested in you, and you feel a good vibe coming from him, the it's seems just fine.

[manee]

I was going to be upfront with him and tell him I don't have sex on the first date.