What do guys think about smart girls?

[heart_of_gold]

I am a smart intellectual girl, and I'm sure there are PLEANTY other girls who are the same. What do guys think of us?

[Anonymous]

I love smart girls, especially (and perhaps more importantly) ones with a heart of gold. ;)

Being smart is a big plus with any guy you would care to be involved with. If a guy doesn't like smart, you don't want to be with him anyway.

BUT, my experience with "smart girls", especially ones that present themselves as "independent", is that sometimes they tend to have a chip in their shoulder about men and the classic feminist "I don't need a man" attitude that is such a turnoff to guys. Oil and water. There is one thing for sure, and that is that men have no need for women who "don't need a man". I don't care how smart or beautiful they are, that attitude is just a big turnoff.

At the end of the day most good men (the ones that most women call good men) are attracted to feminine, loving, nurturing women who will make a good wife and a good mother to their children, not super ambitious career driven women for whom family is secondary. That's my take anyway.

[heart_of_gold]

Well I am definitely career driven and ambitious, but not to the point I would put my family second. Now as far as the, "not needing a man concept" I think it's a good attitude to have, but it also depends on the reason you have it, and in what mannerism. You know what I mean? When I say don't need, I mean it as in not a necessity. Now would I like a guy in my life? Most definitely. That sounds lovely, but I'm not going to break my neck trying to get one, or center my life around it. I'm not that bad attitude, cocky, arrogant girl though. I mean it in a literal sense. I am very much so feminine, and most DEFINITELY nurturing, and loving.

[Opinion Owner]

With that in mind... no offense but you're not my type.

[heart_of_gold]

Lol, don't worry, I don't take offense. Everybody is different. I'm just wondering why you want a girl who needs a man? Not being mean or anything, I'm serious. I honestly would like to know.

[Opinion Owner]

I can't imagine a healthy, deeply meaningful relationship in which each partner doesn't need the other. I have no problem admitting that I need a woman in my life and I won't commit the rest of my life to a woman who doesn't need me back.

Women who say they don't need a man have a wall around them that I have no interest in trying to break down. I'm interested in women who love and respect men and are self-aware enough to know they need one. Any others are a waste of my time.

[heart_of_gold]

You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. Maybe I need to explain myself more clearly. I'm not centering my life around trying to find a guy. I am not going to tell myself, "I need a man". Just like you don't need candy. It's a want, but I'm sure you could do without it. I mean I literally do not NEED a man to survive. Once there was a guy in my life and we became committed to each other, then yes, I would need him, but I am fully aware I could survive without. Now is that ideal for me? No, but I realize I am capable of making it on my own. There's a difference here. I'm saying I do NOT need A man, but I would need MY man.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't misunderstand you at all. What you're doing is just what I was referring to in my initial response. It's an attitude thing.

[heart_of_gold]

Yeah, I guess we just aren't understanding each other. There's no point in trying to make the other see from the opposite point of view. It's not an attitude thing. It's a mind set thing. I just cannot fathom why you want a woman to think she needs a man, and you can't understand why I don't think a woman needs to think that way, but it's pointless. You know what. Now I have another question to ask!! Yayyyy.

[Asian_hobo_ftw]

For a serious relationship, it all depends on the guy; just like any measure of ‘attractiveness’, each guy has different things that he really likes to see in a girl. Believe it or not, I've seen some guys who don’t even take ‘smarts’ into account when pursuing a girl.

A buddy of mine told me that he was intimidated by smart girls, simply because of the fact that manipulative girls are smart. That is, to be manipulative, you must be smart. And he don't like manipulative girls. He said when he was talking to a smart girl, he felt that she was ‘out of his league’ and was uncomfortable talking to her beyond just shallow conversation.

But as for me, absolutely! I find smart girls very attractive. My ideal girl is a girl that is both beautiful (physically) and intelligent. Being able to have a conversation is very important in a relationship. I couldn't date Miss Universe if she had no brain.

The fact is, intelligence can be incredibly sexy.

[heart_of_gold]

Hahaha! I think you're going to get the most helpful answer. Yes, I could understand why he might feel intimidated if the girls level of intellect seems to be a bit over his head. That's why I think it's important to pay attention to a persons body language and slow down if necessary. I'm glad there are guys out there who realize that you can have the sexiest girl in the world, but if she has no intelligence... lol. Yes, I also find intelligence attractive. As long as you're not flamboyant and arrogant. You must stay humble. Plus corny jokes never hurt anybody. Hahaha!

[Anonymous]

Cuteness trumps over smartness for women in social arenas dear.
They will say they think positively but they won't show any interest to smart girls in my opinion because they are intimidated maybe (?).
I do not know. Interesting question with a typo (hopefully accidental one. Otherwise it would be funny to claim you are intelligent)

[Prof_Don]

The reason is most of the self proclaimed "smart girls" aren't as classically feminine.

There's a self-entitlement mentality about said girls not "acting like dumb bitches", when in fact they are proverbially shooting themselves in the foot by doing primal feminine mannerisms to attract men.

[heart_of_gold]

Yes, someone else asked me about the typo, and I said it would be quite ironic. Assuming we are all mature enough, I hoped the viewers would overlook it. Cuteness, may trump brains on first sight, but wait until they get to talking. It would take a shallow man to wasn't just a cute woman. If that is the case with that individual, I wouldn't want them anyway. Now I'm no fool as to believe that looks count for nothing, because yes, that is what draws you in, and unless you're shallow and foolish, that should NOT be what keeps you there.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to receive a bachelor's in Biology and I always feel i intimdate guys who dnt go to school. To me it doesn't matter as long as you can make me happy but guys make it seem like they dnt deserve me smh

[heart_of_gold]

Yeah. I understand what you mean. Hey, if they really want you, they will do what it takes to fix that part within them that makes them feel they don't deserve you. Even if that means bettering themselves.

[Opinion Owner]

Aww that's sweet.. you know your right.. i need to be reminded of that

[heart_of_gold]

You're so welcome. :) Don't question yourself, just keep doing what you're doing. Someone GREAT will come to you. Remember, you're worth it. <3

[Opinion Owner]

Aww I got teary eyed over here.. that means so much to me thank you!!! :)

[heart_of_gold]

Aww, I don't want you to cry. I just want you to remain confident, and know your worth.

[Mesonfielde]

"pleanty"? Okay...

It's always a plus if someone isn't as dumb as a brick. You can kinda tell someone's level of intellect based on the way they pronounce things and the way they talk and the way they phrase things, it's quite interesting actually.

[PiuBelloAmante]

i second guessed myself for a second too! lol

[heart_of_gold]

Why did you put a question mark after plenty? Are you asking that in an, "If you say so" tone? Yes, I'm sure it's a plus if someone has some kind of smarts, hahaha. I agree, you can always tell by the way people speak. I'm every analytical, so if I sense someone is having trouble keeping up I just sort of step back, and slow down.

[Mesonfielde]

For a second I wasn't sure if "pleanty" was a deliberate typo, or just a typo :P I've seen interesting examples of the Dunning-Krueger effect ( psych.colorado.edu/.../kruger_dunning.pdf ) before, luckily you're the one who actually does seem smart rather than just claim they are and think that Twilight is the pinnacle of writing.

[heart_of_gold]

Ohhhhh, lol no. That was an accidental typo. My phone gives me trouble sometimes. It would be ironic if I said I was intelligent and misspelled a simple word, hahaha. Oh gosh, I'm kind of embarrassed because I actually am a Twilight obsessed girl. I wouldn't say it's the "holy grail" of English literature, but I definitely loved the series. In my defense, I was in the 7th grade during this phase of my life, lol. I have to be honest if someone brought up the topic of Twilight today and invited me into the discussion I would graciously accept.

[Mesonfielde]

The real question is what you think of the movies, and the implicit notion that Edward Cullen is a creepy 180 year old man who's also controlling, possessive stalker in a relationship based on emotional abuse.

[heart_of_gold]

Yeaahhhh that's true. It has crossed my mind on numerous occasions, but in order to just be able to enjoy the book, I just kind of ignore it. Lol, ik, ik, that sounds bad. He's 180? I thought he was 130? Ooppsss. Yes, the movies were a no. Just no. Lol. My favorite one was the first one, my least favorite was Breaking Dawn part one. Except the part where Bella breaks her back reaching for the cup of blood. (you should know I'm slightly demented) I thought that part was HILARIOUS.

[Mesonfielde]

Jokes aside, if there was one thing for that series to exist, it's this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bXeQ7baYEE
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQdQlFbcLow

(watch in order)

[heart_of_gold]

Woowwwww... I don't even know how to feel right now.

[Mesonfielde]

Heh. Well, 50 Shades of Sh*t is way worse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA :p

[heart_of_gold]

I read that series too!!

[Mesonfielde]

That's even worse than Twilight, though. I opened that book only to laugh at the way it was written. "My inner goddess", hahahaha

[heart_of_gold]

Okay, okay. That one actually made me laugh.

[Prof_Don]

Smart is good... but understand that classic femininity will ALWAYS be what attracts and keeps a guy engaged on a primal level.

To use a sundae metaphor, "smart / intelligence" is more like the chocolate fudge and the cherry on top, and the "femininity" is the ice cream.

----

The only way being "intelligent/smart" is a bad thing, is when said girl thinks that intelligence, somehow, substitutes for classic feminine behavior that attracts us on a primal level. Also this girl usually looks down on other girls who are more classically feminine, labeling them as stupid bimbos / dumb bitches.

These are the BLATANT epic fails that a lot of " intelligence / smart" girls make in the dating world.

----

As long as u don't do those two epic fails, u will be just fine, Asker. 8-)

[heart_of_gold]

Well it depends on what your definition of "classic femininity" is. Sure I know how to act like a lady, my mother has taught me well, but I don't know your definition.

[Prof_Don]

"classic femininity" = classic feminine flirtation signals (eye contact, smiling at the guy, playing with her hair, playfully touching him, batting her lashes, etc.)

You will be surprised at how many "smart / intelligent " girls find the above as "degrading" , "acting like a dumb bitch" , "having no self respect", etc.

In the meantime... the girls who DO use these timeless, classic flirtation techniques, fare better in the dating world.

[heart_of_gold]

Well yeah. That's just part of being a female, but I don't see why someone smart would think that someone doing those things are being dumb. Some of that, like playful touching, I don't do.

[AleDeEurope]

I love them, as it's always nice to talk about important things. Just don't brag about it, don't be a show off, that's a major turn-off. Be proud of it, of course, but don't be cocky about it.

[heart_of_gold]

Yes, it is definitely always nice to discuss important things, or just debatable, interesting, controversial topics, but like you said don't be cocky out arrogant about it. I also think that's a mega turn off.

[mrwunderful]

intelligence is very sexy. Beauty is only skin deep. Intellect doesn't overcome everything but it sure goes a long way. Why do you think teachers are considered sexy?

[heart_of_gold]

Yes it is!! That's true, people often do find teachers attractive. Hmmmmm... never thought of it that way. Yaayyyy, now I have something to think about!! :)

[TadCurious]

Smart IS sexy and attractive. And a convo with a smart person is a lot more fun.

[heart_of_gold]

Yes!! Thank-you! I feel the same way. It's just so much more fufilling having a conversation that you can actual take away from.

[danodamano333]

The intellectual type is the greatest. I've honestly become interested in a girl before simply because she said something intelligent in class.

[heart_of_gold]

Yaaayy! Whoo! Go team intellectual! I sincerely hope you get her. :) Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Brains are useful, but how you use them determines how you'll be viewed.

[heart_of_gold]

Yes, *applause* I 100% agree. That's a very wise statement you made. You always have the people who are intelligent but use it for the wrong reasons. Like someone else on here mentioned some guys defer from intelligent girls, because they feel they will manipulated. I myself am not like that at all, I don't do the whole mind game thing, but I have to keep in mind that unfortunately some girls do.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not put off by intelligence, quite the opposite. I generally can't even get interested in a girl unless she is intelligent, but like I said it depends on how they use it. I find it hard to find someone who is smart enough and simultaneously has a good heart.

[heart_of_gold]

That's very unfortunate. :\ Sometimes the brightest people are the most blind. I wish we had the balance of big brain good heart, buttttt a lot of girls are messy these days.

[Clovergirl-Lily]

it's because many people who are intelligent think they are better than everyone, and forgot that they developed their intelligence by learning from others and listening to what other people have to say. they often think they are always right and thus, they never listen to the opinions of others. most intelligent people fail in relationships because they don't know how to be considerate of people who can't understand their way of thinking.

[Opinion Owner]

Not to act like I'm right here, but you just contradicted yourself... You said "they developed their intelligence by learning from others" and in the same breath said "they never listen to the opinions of others". How is that even possible?

[Opinion Owner]

You have to listen and observer quiet a bit to get smart... There is a lot of listening involved. They may hear what you are saying, but just not agree with your position. People with well developed opinion can be argumentative. That doesn't mean they aren't open minded or bad listeners though. They are just argumentative. We learn through debate a lot of times. Strong minds have strong positions many times.

[heart_of_gold]

I understand where both of you guys are coming from.

[TheOneTrueGod]

I love smart girls. Girls who question everything, and think for themselves.

But if you ask guys in the bible... well they hate smart girls.

The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.
1 Corinthians

[heart_of_gold]

I'm a Christian, but I've never seen that in the Bible... Hmmmm. Wow. I'm sure Jesus will still accept me.

[Clovergirl-Lily]

@heart_of_gold it's the 21st century. i'm christian, and many priests i've met prefer to have intelligent girls helping out. some priests understand that there is a difference in living conditions and circumstances from the time the bible was written and today. they learn to accept women. and when christianity first began, the houses in which gatherings of christians were held had a female host. plus, it wouldn't sound right if men hated women for their intelligence, considering the importance of Mary in Jesus' life. Mary was mentioned far more than Joseph. and Jesus was always accepting the women, the children, the sinners, the weak and the inferior and the minority in general. so don't worry about it.

[heart_of_gold]

Thank-you so much @Clovergirl-Lily. I was thinking the same thing, but it's nice to have some clarification.

[Clovergirl-Lily]

no problem :)

[badger25]

If you're the smartest person in the room you're in the wrong room! Bring on the smart girls

[heart_of_gold]

Hahaha! I love this. :)

[Klaatu51]

i don't have any problem with them at all LOL

[heart_of_gold]

Lol, this made me laugh.

[Shpongolia]

A girl can impress me with her intellect

[JackKerouac77]

I like them. All girls should be smart.

[glane]

a real turn on

[heart_of_gold]

Yayyyyy. Lol.

[glane]

your well hot

[Anonymous]

Well, aren't we modest

[heart_of_gold]

Well I'm just being upfront. I am very modest, but there is nothing wrong with stating what I know myself to be. I'm not going to call myself stupid. It was for the sake of asking the question. I'm sorry if I came of a cocky or arrogant. Two things I try not to be.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't go around saying "I'm Jewish", unless I have to

[heart_of_gold]

I don't see how that's relevant. Please help me understand.

[Opinion Owner]

Then why should you care

[heart_of_gold]

Lol, because you commented silly.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Yes please.